the first part seems about right...

Your Birthdate: April 27

Your birth on the 27th day of the month (9 energy) adds a tone of selflessness and humanitarianism to your life path. Certainly, you are one who can work very well with people, but at the same time you need a good bit of time to be by yourself to rest and meditate. There is a very humanistic and philanthropic approach in most of things that you do. This birthday helps you be broadminded, tolerant, generous and very cooperative. You are the type of person who uses persuasion rather than force to achieve your ends. You tend to be very sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you able to give much in the way of friendship without expecting a lot in return.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Atlanta here I come?

>

American Cities That Best Fit You:

70% Washington, DC

60% Atlanta

60% San Francisco

55% Los Angeles

50% Chicago

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

If I pass enough gas, will that fumigate my apartment?

It is early morning Tuesday. I should be writing my classical music piece. Definitely procrastinating there. Whatever. I took the day off of classes yesteday so that I could spend the 12 hour chunk of my day writing my paper. It is now substantially finished. I probably have another 3-4 pages to go, just a couple more points to hit and then conclude and cite. It feels SOO incredible to have that cloud removed from over my head. I feel like I can finally focus on some of the other littler shit that is coming at me.

Tonight I have the Raynor Dinner, which is gonna be kinda lame, since Ken is gone, Meredith graduated, Vince isnt coming (the idiots scheduled this thing at the same time as the A&S award ceremony). Good thing Katie will be there. I hope to get everything cleaned and taken care of in my bedroom. It is going to be a ocuple hours worth of work, but if I haul everything to the laundromat, I figure I am tired of waking up with these painful itchy spots. Then going out tonight to celebrate Nikki's 21st, and the begining of my b-day. Yeah!

This week is going to fly. Today will be over quickly. Then tomorrow, my birthday, will come and go, with the get-together at Sobelman's. I have a presentation to give in ethics the next day (not to mention possibly finalizing that paper) then I cater both that night, then Friday I cater in Madison. Sunday I finally get a day off. I haven't had a no-school, no-work day since...Let me check... Since April 3. I'm rather excited!

I had my second interview with Swig. I dont think that I did very well. I just was frazzled from running after a bus, and didnt feel like I was very coherent or easy to connect with. Oh well, not that big of a deal. I will have to wait and see.

I got an email from the Office of Student Affairs yesterday. I freaked out because I presumed that it was about Senior Speaker. It turned out not to be, just a special invite to something random. Crap. Hopefully I will hear one way or another on that soon enough.

Holy Raunchy Night!

Huh... Wow. Just got in. Hmmm. Had a really good night at work, with a very steady but transcient crowd. Justine and Danielle came in. That was cool. Then Brian came in towards the end. Oh, and Franco. Yes. That worked out well.

Went over to his place afterward, and I was the only person supposed to stay over, but lets just say it didnt work out that way. A couple of guys in the closet, a couple of guys on the couch, a couple of couples on the bed. I didnt think I could get myself into this much trouble in the states. Franco was totally sweet though, because he made it clear that I was the only person originally intended to stay, and that if I wanted, he would clear everyone out. What for?

The night also kinda kicked ass because I was wearing (and still am wearing) the shirt I bought in Spain that has Coca-Cola logo in Thai on it. It is a teeny-weeny shirt, and I have been too fat for it since i got back. Well, not last night. I looked great in it, and had the underwear to match. Hotness. I was turning myself on. ;-)

Now I am exhausted. I need to shower and shave before I meet up with a couple of kids from my critical wrtiting class for brunch. Food. Yeeessss.

Maybe when Im done with endings this can begin

Okay. School is such a non-priority right now. I did just fine on that Spanish test. Otherwise, nothing major. Oh, I am staging a bit of a coup in my writing class. I got 5 of the other students (out of 18 total) to sign onto a letter about how useless that class is. I submitted it yesterday. I also got 5 pages of my pron paper done. The prof says I need to make it MORE clunky. Oh God, he is going against 6 years of journalism training. Ah well. I dont care much.

I work pretty much all weekend again. No doubles this time though. That's nice. Next weekend I go to Madison to bartend for Hilary Clinton. I'll get to see my hook up buddy too. NICE!

Last night, after I went to a rehearsal for the Milwaukee Symphonic Orchestra for the Critical Writing class, I went to visit Katie W. at Swig. She has been talking to me about applying there for a job. So I sat down with the manager Joe, who wants me as a server, and he pretty much hired me on the spot, at least that's how it seemed. Kick ass! Apparently servers make total bank there! It would be a nice break from the bar. Ohhh... and I was telling Joe that I needed a break from the gay bar, and he thought that it was cause I was uncomfortable with gay people. LOL>> I don't think that's the problem. Anyway, if I oculd get the hookup for this job, I would totally be set for the summer. Kick ass. Cross my fingers for the second interview.

Otherwise, I am trying to get shit out of the way so I can enjoy my birthday next week. 22 (again). I liked it so much, I think I'll do it again.

I think I am going to order an obscene amount of Chinese food and then eat leftovers all weekend. Yum.

45 years to go!

You Will Die at Age 67

67 You're pretty average when it comes to how you live... And how you'll die as well.

What Age Will You Die?

errr yuck

Had a good couple of days. I have a Spanish test that I should be studying for right now. I really just don't care though. That seems symptomatic of something. Oh yeah. Senior Year. I have been too lazy to shave these last couple of days. I look like the Unibomber.

Monday was fun, great weather. Beer Club was packed and ended up hanging out with Danny from ethics, who usually doesnt come. He is very fun. Who knew athletes could be smart? Truth is I may have a tad of a crush on him. Not that that hasnt happened before.

Last night I stayed in and started my reading for my porn thesis. One of the major reasons that I am so unmotivated for this thing is that I feel like it is going to be very easy to write, once I get myself organized.

Other than that, I am getting eaten by something in my bedroom, which is quite disturbing. I tried to use a bug bomb right before i went on Spring Break, but now it seems whatever it is is back with a vengence. I have odne everything: changed the sheets, mattress pad, pillows, moved to my other bed... I am still getting new itchy bites... What the hell? I definitely dont want to pay for an exterminator for the next month and a half that I am here. But can I survive the itch till then? (and for those of you reading this: i am a clean person... if anything, I blame my apartment building, which always seems to be infested with something) WTF... This is the last thing I want to worry about!

Ask and you shall receive

As to my last post: I guess God works in mysterious ways. I have met a new "friend" who is very hot, nice, and best of all, lives about a block from the bar. Know what that means? "Afterbar" at his place. I ended up over there last night and ended up in a three-way kiss with this guy and another... Hot.

Friday was the best night I have ever had. Totally fun. Thank God that our capacity was raised. We would have been turning people away both nights if we were still at 50 (it is now 80). Last night started slow. I was working the double, and my happy hour was barely decent, but I was actually glad to not have to expend too much energy. Then came back for 10-3. I learned that each night at Cage they have to do deep cleaning shit. Sometimes they dont get out of there until 4:30-5am. No wonder those guys are all coked out. It's the only way they can survive! Thank God we don't have to do that sort of shit.

Other than that, no fantastic stories to tell. We got a call last night from the Tazzbah warning us about a guy with fake $100 bills. We always check ours, so no biggie, but it was nice of them to call. Then later that night I had a guy from Indiana freak out cause I checked his. Whatever. He also tweaked a little about me putting his tip on the counter as opposed to taking it straight from the register. These are the little things that you are supposed to do. And i guess if I err, I prefer to err on the side of following the rules. Anyway.

Brunch with Christina yesterday at Cans. Always a pleasure with her. Dr. Dempsey stopped by the apartment to cancel. At least she let me know... What's with this faculty?

I really need to start cracking on some of my projects. My Porn Thesis is due in about a 9 days... Not much more time to procrastinate. Yuck.

I never really loved you anyway

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

0% Yankee

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I havent gotten laid in far too long.

Yeah. I'm serious. It's an issue. I dont know why, but I havent really been into the random hook ups that my bar has had to offer as of late. In fact, I dont even know that I am interested in a random. But does that mean that part of me is interested in a relationship all of a sudden? Whoa... wrong time to go there. Maybe just a fuck buddy. I need to look up my friend in Madison. It's just that Madison is a pretty decent trek just to get laid.

Spring has ogt the hormones buggin. I am trying really hard not to resent my roommate for his fuck-buddy. Hell, if I was in his position I would do the same thing. Perhaps i have in the past. I guess I am just jealous of the convenience of his enocunter. Usually it is the other way around: I can get laid 4x as quick normally, just cause gays are easy.

Perhaps i have even been working too hard for my sex life. Is that getting squeezed out there too? Saturday would usually be the night i stay out and get it on, but these past Saturday's I have been doing MU social events and I work a double this week. Maybe I can convince a hottie to stay after work on Friday... That's always wierd though because we have to meet up like an hour later.

Well, today went very very well. Great day actually. The session with the 7th graders was perfect, and we got high marks. Feels nice to get that out of the way. Ethics was great. We are onto Hate Speech, which I defend. Had a perfect workout, and then hung out with Tom Freesmier for about an hour talking about senior speaker stuff (he's one of the two other candidates, and I would love him to get it... seriously). Later, some roommate time before I went with Danielle and Justine to a splendid dinner at Magiano's and the we saw Sahara.

Pretty bland night after that really, just watched Revelations, which i taped accidently instead of West Wing. Kick ass show. I almost dont mind it pushing back my show.

I think I need to maybe grab a book to keep my interest for a while. And masturbate more.

Welcome to the OC, bitch

I have been working my friggin ass off lately. I just realized that when I got a voicemail from a friend I normally see every two days who was genuinely concerned that something bad had happened to me. I think I told you that I had to buy a new computer and got charged about $300 extra for my spring break car rental... Stuff has just been adding up quick. So that all comes down to a lot of added shifts. I hate that though. It throughs me way out of wack.

I did one of my catering gigs tonight. It was kinda fun because it happened to be a Marquette Admissions function, and I used to work there. Everyone there knew me. It gave many of my friends to see me in a light they are not used to. Usually i am very laid-back and fun. Catering I have to be polite, with a stick up my ass attitude, and I have to call everyone Maam or Sir, even my best friend who was there. Plus the bow tie is always cute. ;-)

Anyway, Tomorrow I go into a 7th grade class and talk to them about respecting women. Im actually a bit nervous. 7th graders kicked my ass when I was one of them. They are little pre-pubecent cruel balls of hormones and attitude. Whatever. I seriously dont care about the presentation. I just hope I dont swear at them.

Today was a good day. Tomorrow will be too.

The dawn is breaking. A light's shining through... Let's just start all of this new.

I woke way too early this morning. The bright rising sun was shining into the living room. I forgot what beautiful mornings we can see in this apartment. It has been years (literally) since I was up early enough to see the sun rising out our windows.

The last couple of days have been... not my norm. I have just been really all over the place emotionally. I have been prone to anger. I hadnt hung out with Justine in about a week, and hadnt talked to her all weekend. Things were just going "full-moonish." I had a wierd-ass shift on Monday. I just have not been feeling right with the world.

Where I left off last time I wrote was getting off work on Sunday. That was a fun shift, but a little lonely. [Webster] then came and picked me up on his way up from Chicago. He had been home all weekend. He is doing that a lot more lately. I respect his desire to be with his buddies from home, but I kinda hate getting left here alone. Anyway, he then kinda ditches me to go hang out with his regular hook-up. I was a little sore about that. He ended up bringing her back here and we watched an episode of the Sopranos, but that is just not the same.

Anyway, Monday we all got our asses handed to us in our dance class. So much so that I don't really feel like going today. I know that is not a good idea though. Then a decent workout with [Webster]. Classes were fine... I was really tired through them. Then a nap before I headed off to work. On the way I returned a voicemail from [Julie] saying that she needed to talk to me. She needed to lean on me. So I called her, and she told me she didnt want to talk about it at the moment. Okay. Fair enough. But I also let her know that I had needed to talk to her all weekend, and she showed no interest in being with me or talking or anything. She swallowed it and I went to work.

Work was... off. Phil and Dave and Billie and Geoff are saints. I guess it was just good to have friendly faces. Jimmy (the old fuck from last Wed. who would not get his hands off me) was there. I served him politely, kept moving and was just happy he was down on Brian's end of the bar. But NO... he moves down to my end with his young leaching friend. He starts badgering me, asking me why I am not talking to him... I finally go off on him, letting him know that his actions the other night were inappropriate, and that if he was going to regard me as a piece of meat, I was going to regard him as the lecherous old man he is. Everyone else at the bar just dropped their jaw, knowing that this was totally unlike me. Jimmy just shut up and sat there, and was gone within minutes. Now, that was never my intention, and I am seriously worried about Jimmy going to my boss, with whom he is good friends (and he reminds me of that in a way that seriously resembles cooersion), and telling him that I was mean to him. I wish I could say that I know Bill will have my back. But he has proved pretty unsupportive when it comes to these sort of conflicts.

Anyway, then some guy collapsed near the men's bathroom. I just heard this giant crash bang. I FLEW over there, and his eyes were rolled back in his head... Every Boy Scout nerve in my body panicked. He wasn't drunk, in fact I had only served him one beer. He came to, very dissoriented, and said he was fine, just a little lightheaded. So I put him in a chair with a back to it and gave him some water. Brian was downstairs or something, so I didnt know what else to do. Then, 30 seconds later, the guy goes down again. Brian took care of it this time, and I just manned the bar. I guess it turned out to be some medical thing. Just got my adreneline pumping HARD.

At closing, we had a TON of restocking to do, and Brian lightly repremanded me for my attitude that evening. We didnt get out of there until about 3:45. Then I had the world's WORST taxi driver, who I totally reemed out. He ignored my directions, so ended up hitting every light in town, and then went all the way to Highland Ave. to turn west... I made him turn off the meter. And waiting on my phone was the most bilesome, mean voicemail I have ever gotten. [Julie] called accusing me of "playing games," and being a bad friend for making her bad day worse. Look who you're talking to here sweetheart.

Then yesterday, I didnt even try to get up for my first class. I finalized my speech, using the suggestions that Ken Anselment had sent me. God bless that man. It was incredibly helpful. I then went and read it for Dr. Phyliss Ravel in the Theater Department, who gave me some suggestions. Then to Dr. Ghanem, my PR prof. Then Ethics, which was a great break-up to the speech-centric nature of the rest of my day. Talked about animal testing. Finally a subject that we disagree on! Fun stuff! Then I read the piece to Dr. Meyer, more suggestions. Then back home, Sopranos with [Webster] and a nap.

Woke up dressed (looked sharp too) and went to go see the Senior Speech committee. (On the way, I had to turn around and run back for a copy of my speech to give them... shit, that could have been bad). The speech went almost flawlessly, and my answers to the rest of their questions were witty and intelligent... Oh, except that I forgot my majors... When we were doing intros around the room, they came back to me, and I totally blanked on my majors.... Oh, and then I "disclosed" my new tattoo to them... I thought that was funny. They looked scared shitless when I told them that "I had not been honest about something on my application..." Hahaha.

So, then I come back for dinner, [Julie] and I finally catch up, easily smooth things over. Her father is going through some horrible medical stuff. He might lose his legs (in the long term). I kept trying to gently remind her to just be greatful that she still has both her parents. That can be a hard argument to make though. Anyway, things were cool, and then Will and Justine and I went out to Mel's on Water, and had an absolute blast. It was exactly what I needed. Time with the two of them. Total cutie there too. Andy. Straight. But... Anyway, we all had a blast, and Justine just talked about the stupid stuff we hadnt been able to in a while. (like La Perla being shut down... WTF... I HATE this new police chief!!!) We had a close ass dart game (Justine and I got beaten by 1 point) and then went to George Webb's. What a perfect way to end such a shitty couple days.

Here is what I am thinking: I hope that I dont see any repercussions for Monday night at work. Bill gets back on Wednesday, and I will need to talk to him about the way Jimmy went after me physically. Part of me feels like I should wait until Jimmy makes it an issue again, so that I am not tattling on my boss' friend... I am thinking that I just finished pretty much the last thing I give a damn about this semester... I am thinking that I need to make sure Justine and I dont go that long without hanging out... I am thinking that things can go back to normal now.

I am listening to this Howie Day Cd right now, and in one of his songs he sings, "Even the best fall down sometimes," and that is how I felt this last weekend.

It is time to get back up.

the loft next store is shaking, so I guess I am awake...

This was indeed a busy weekend. I didnt get to see Justine for pretty muhc all of it, which was wierd. I started to worry that she was mad at me for some reason. Saturday I just chilled until I went to brunch with Angela, and we had an absolute blast. We went to Lava for brunch. The service was great, the food decent, the Bloody great. And I got a tattoo.

Leave it to Angela... She could get the Pope into trouble (God rest his soul). It was a tattoo that I have been talking about for awhile, but of course she was all about going with me to get it. The only serious reservation that I had was getting to the flower shop in time to pick up Liz McDonald's corsage before the florist closed. Ryan McCullough ended up being my hero and grabbing it for me, so all went well. I now have a latin acronynm tattooed to my lower back-side right calf. Seems appropriate for graduation. The pain was SOOO worth it. Makes me want another (kidding... only kinda... maybe after I pass the bar exam in 3 years).

Formal that night was kick ass. I made out with Liz a ton, and really solidified my friendship with Ryan and Dave Lindesmith. I love those guys. Oh, and I spent a ton of time ripping on J.R. (good verb to use). Actually, I felt we were bonding a little, which I am so not sure about... Anyway. I was incredibly drunk by the end of the night, and then T.J. called, and he came over. But nothing happened. It was wierd. We were both WAY too drunk. Just got naked and slept. He left at like 8am for work, so I am not even sure why he came over.

Other than that, I jsut keep chipping away at the speech. You know what? I really doubt that I am going to get it, so I am kinda not that concerned. I know that is the wrong attitude to have, and it is totally unlike me, but it is true nonetheless. Okay, bedtime... Maybe the loft next door has stopped shaking. Maybe not.

best cab driver ever!

That's just one of those tings that can make your night at the end of a shift. The guy got me to my place faster than any other driver I have had, and he was super-friendly. Not in the annoying, post-barclose in your face way, but just in the relaxed nice way. I always pay the same amount for a cab, $8, whether they far is $7.50 or in the case of last night $5.50. I figure they earn that tip. Anyway, after that I watched a couple episodes of the Inferno challenge, and I was a happy camper. I love working with Brian and Jared: that would be my ideal shift forever. The tips were shitty last night, but I still had fun. Oh, and my new internet friend didnt show up at the bar last night. Little dissapointed. What's with that?

Tonight is the Sorority formal. I am going with Liz McDonald. It started as a joke about me becoming the "Sorority Sweetheart." It is going to be a blast. I am sitting at a table with Dave Lindesmith and Ryan McCullough. (I also have to tolerate J.R.... but I can deal). Actually funny enough, the whole "Sweetheart" thing totally isnt that important, or even important at all. But I heard a couple days ago that this guy is actually campaigning for it. What a duche. Now I have to bring my A-game, just cause I dont want to be beat by HIM. The guy is a walking ego... I have long said that I dont like anyone with a larger ego than mine. Well, his FAR surpases mine. Whatever.

Yesterday I did indeed get my nap in, before I lost to the slaughterhouse of the Spelling Bee. It was quite fun actually, but i couldnt spell Kalidescope for the life of me. In fact, i am not sure i am spelling it correctly now. I was there to support Justine, so it was worth it. The event went fabulously, so I am proud of her.

Caught up with Carey real quick while I was eating lunch. Theo was group presentations, and the Prof loves me because I am always very engaged (read: I dont want to take the final, so I am being good). Spanish class let out early, very good workout after that. Still working on the speech... Should get a draft out to Will today.

Okay, off to brunch with Angela. Fun stuff.

lists of three, juxtapositions, modest aliteration

Yep. I spent some time last night writing my speech for the selection on Tuesday. I know that it is going to go through about 4 drafts before I actually present it, but its a start. Part of my issue is that I feel that I am already pushing 5 minutes. While I was writing it last night, Nikki knocked on the door and invited me over. There were some fun people, and I enjoyed myself. I totally meant to NOT do that last night. And I was drinking cheap chardonney. My head feels GREaaatt right about now. There was this totally cute freshman there... He was WAY too friendly too. I swear, if I was a different person, I would totally have loved to... show him the wisdom of my experience. I have never understood how guys can do that. If I were to have made a move, for instance while we were alone in my bedroom, what would it have looked like? And if he rejected my advances, what would that do to my reputation on campus? Whatever... This campus. All look, no touch. Makes me glad to get back to my gay ghetto. Although I still hate gay people.

I am picking up all of Drew's shifts next week, so that means a bit of extra money. That should be nice. Granted, Sunday happy hours are usually pathetic, but sometimes they turn out well. I'll gamble on that.

Today is actually pretty busy: one paper for each class, work out, attend an extra class on the ethics of porn, spelling bee, and then work tonight. Anyone want to bet if I can get a nap in there somewhere? Oh, and I still have the dishes and laundry I started yesterday... Who knew that being a sloth took so much time?

I got another call from Black Tim last night. That poor guy. I feel bad, but what would I do with a 19 year old over the summer. I'm sorry to sound like such an alcoholic, but if you can't got to the bars with me, there really isnt a place for you in my life right now. It is just my social scene. Whatever.

sass-- Informal n. Impertinent, dissrespectful speech; back talk

rhapsodize-- intr. To express oneself in an immoderately enthusiastic manner. --tr. To recite (something) in the manner of a rhapsody.

gay guys suck

yeah. that's about it...

this guy I know from work had to be physicially removed from me tonight. I dont understand how gay guys cannot respect each other. this older guy is all "friendly" and I just wanted to hang out... After a while I just get to the point where I want people to see me for who I am . I guess I should apologize for losing patience with this guy, but I really would rather never see his leturous ass ever again.

Okay. whatever. Going to bed.

panache-- n. 1. Dash; verve. 2. A bunch of feathers or a plume, especially on a helmet. [French plume, verve from Italian pinnacchio, plume from Late Latin pinnaculum, diminutive of Latin pinna, feather, wing.]

dark moment

everyone has them. that is why they are okay. I guess my thoughts are just reflecting the weather. generally I love thunderstorms... I dont mind getting wet. in fact I love storm chasing. not today though. today is one of those days when I feel fat, broke, dumb, lonely and powerless.

a lot of this has to do with Enterprise totally ripping me off on the car rental for Spring Break. Turns out they are charging us about $400 more than they originally quoted us for. And the really sucky part: I signed for it. Right there on the contract. I didnt check the price on there. I let myself get caught up in the moment, trying to get on the road, and I made a $400 error. It would have been SO easy to clarify things then. But I was an idiot. My mother is rolling over in her grave right now: her son signed a contract without reading it.

I may still argue it a little. Justine is going to go down with me and talk to the manager. The fact that we were quoted something so different is just uncool. But what can I do now? I am stuck with my dick in my hands.

So, now I am grumpy, and decidedly more broke than I want to be. Arg. Yuck.

okay. time to get over this. Sobelman's could do the trick. eat, drink, get merry damnit!

Satellite M45-S331

Well, it is going to take me a little while to adjust to this keyboard. It is a tad bit smaller than my old one. But here I am on my brand spankin new laptop. Yeah!!! It is just beautiful, and I am thrilled to have a machine that is WAY lighter, lasts longer and doesnt freeze every time I try to write something. Now I just have to figure out how I am going to pay for it... Grandma E. sent a check for $25 for my birthday... I supposed that's a start. ;-)

My presentation got moved to next week. So, essentially I didnt have anything to do for today. This "hard week" has gotten less and less motivating. I have to write the ballet review for tomorrow, but since my first class is canceled, I figure I will get up around 8am to do it... Way better than my standard 6am crap for that class.

Will and I went out to Water Street last night. Had a really good time. Found a place with great Tuesday specials and decent darts. (except then we got beat by a girl... we left promptly after that) Here's the thing though: UWM students consistently give us so much shit. YES. I was wearing my new MU hat (the cute gold one). And Will and I had no less than four people come up to us and make snide comments about us being from MU. This is something I have noticed a lot. I get it at work, as does Will. There is like this bile from UWM students about MU. They pressume all sorts of things, most of which aren't true. You think I am a spoiled rich kid? I am on a scholarship for being intelligent, after going to a public school, so screw you, I earned my place here.

Here is the reality: MU students dont care about UWM students. I dont mean that we dont regard them well, it is more that we are not looking across the bridge and focusing any energy on the "other" school, which is apparently what is going on. I just don't get it. Most of my friends went to a public university, and they have no issues with private schoolers. But then Milwaukee, we have this whole thing going on here... Whatever... How about this: when we hang out, why dont we all just treat each other like we are equals? Huh? Sound Okay?

Looks like I have to run off to class. Having dinner with (Bart) tonight. Platonic or otherwise? Hmmm... The hard things in life we could never learn in a classroom.

fug nutin computer

Last night while I was trying to write my book critique, my laptop froze no less than four times. It was about 5pm, and I just got really really frusterated. I called my father and informed him that I am buying a new computer. I just cant deal with this anymore, and I am going to need something far more stable during law school. Part of me feels like I am being a spoiled brat by buying a new one rather than trying to forge ahead with my current system... But on the other hand, I have been forging ahead with this computer since I got back from Spain. It no longer plays DVDs, I only have about 1/3 of the hard drive to work with, it is heavy, and most importantly, it often freezes in MS Word. I just have this vision in my head of my computer stopping during a vital section of notes in class next year. I cant have that happening.

Anyway, I am not willing to wait any longer, so I am paying an extra $100 or so to pick up my new system from BestBuy today. If it wasnt in friggin Brown Deer Id take the bus out right now... Last night Will and I went out to Bluemound to take a look at laptops at BestBuy and CompUSA. I was sold on one unit at BestBuy, then they come back and tell me that they no longer carry it. Grrr... Then why did you just spend 20 minutes selling it to me??? Then I chose another system, which was comprable of a bit more expensive (bait and switch much?) and it turns out that they didnt have that one at the store either!!! WHAT?!? Oh well, I exercised some patience, went and got chicken with Will at the Boston Market, and went comparison shopping online.

Caffrey's last night was kinda lame because it was packed with non-monday-regulars to see the final four game. I couldn't have cared less about the game, and they were also out of Spotted Cow. Hmmm... At least Hilary (bartender) bought my first beer, which I fervently protested. She is so cute. It is so fun to be on the other side of a good-bartender rapport. I guess it makes me feel good about the job I do, and want to keep doing it well.

Anyway, I got my book critique done this morning. Its major fluff, since I didnt read the book all the way through. It will get me a B. Good enough at this point. Tomorrow is my presentation for Theology at Nativity Jesuit middle school about how to "Be a Man" in regards to repecting women and relationships. And all of a sudden I am having some cognitive dissonance about the whole thing: I am going to be talking to these guys about dating women, essentially contributing to the heterosexist socialization of these kids. I know it is a Catholic middle school and that to bring up same-sex relationships would divert from our topic drastically, but I cant help but think that in a room of 20 boys, two of them may turn out gay. How can I talk to the other 18 without passively participating in the normative pressure on those two?

I know I should just drop it, and I am not planning on saying anything tomorrow, but that doesnt mean it doesnt bug me. These are latino kids on top of that... Looking back at my latin american experience, I wish someone would have had the guts to talk to the kids at my catholic school.

Oh, I almost forgot. Dr. Schneider from back home, a neighbor from down the block, died unexpectedly at age 43. She left behind her husband and their sweet 9 year old son. I just feel awful. Dad is spending the week with the husband. That is one thing about our experience: it uniquely qualifies us to help others in the same situation. My Dad is such a good man. It is funny, I used to get really sore about people comparing us. Now I just pray that I can be as good a soul and partner and father as he is. And if death teaches us anything, it is the value of living.

monday morning

Now that I have gone through the weekend and have gotten NOTHING done that I needed to, I guess that will add some element of challenge to the week. I just dont care anymore. I have two critiques due, a spanish composition, a presentation to an 8th grade class of boys about "How to be a man," and I just dont care about any of it. Hmmm. My focus has serisouly been on working out and drinking, and since the two cancel themselves out, if I didnt watch the Sopranos with (Webster) at the end of the night, my day would be a wash.

Made some awesome chicken and veggies last night. High protein, high veggies, low carbs... Smothered chicken. Good stuff. And of course, I have leftovers... Yeah.

I made plans with (Bart) for dinner on Wednesday. I guess that will have to bump my date night with Justine. Ahh well... I ended up going to the Metro with Christina for brunch. Funny enough, I saw this one guy I had chatted with online ( I had forgotten that he said he worked there). Brunch was ehhh decent, I am not gong to rate it particularly well. They get "taste" points and a little creativity, but the portions were miniscule and the prices a bit inflated. Meanwhile, I totally enjoyed Christina's company. This was like one of the first times she and I have hung out one-on-one, and I definitely had fun. I wanted to pick her brain about the Senior Speech too. She is a terrific anectdotal writer, which I am not as much, and she has this "Sex and the City" style to her stuff that I just needed to lean on for the moment.

The speech needs to be based on one common experience. So here are my thoughts: it has to be funny, it cant have sex or alcohol, and it needs be "general." Well no dbooze or sex, that eliminates 2/3 of my funny stories... And my experience here has been anything but general: it has been exceptional. I have lived in Spain, I have participated in 100s of activities, lead service projects... But the average student will not connect to those things. Plus, I somehow want to work in my message of "Voices in the Wilderness" (shhh.... dont tell Tom or Ian).

I told all of this to Christina, and she said the first thing that popped into her head, and it was BRILLIANT!!! I am totally running with it. Now I need to pound it out, which wont take long, and get (Webster) to help me with the wording. I am glad that I keep such good writers around me!

maudlin: adj. Effusively or tearfully sentimental: "displayed an almost maudlin concern for the welfare of animals" (Aldous Huxley).

work work work

yesterday at work kicked ass!

I had to open 15 minutes early because Bill and Dee brought some guys (about 10) over from an event. It was a little bit hectic, which always takes an attitude adjustment on my part, but Bill helped me to finish opening which was very nice. The shift moved quickly and I had some really fun people hanging around, including this guy Andy, who is this giant ox of a man, all muscle. Andy had been all over me on Friday, and here he was again. Kinda the type of guy that you want to just take you in the back room and... anyway... I behaved... I don't quite know why, but I behaved. Anyway, I didnt have a single down minute the entire shift, which is okay by me, cause that means more money all around.

By the time I was done, I kinda wanted to stick around, but it was Christina Mahady's birthday party, and I was already dreadfully late. I showed up with a bottle of cosmo mix that Bill had given me and we just chilled out for a couple of hours. I love Christina and Nora... Those girls are very fun to hang out with. And I have found a fast friend in Natalie, who I found out is going to be here this summer. I think that she and I will probably be hanging out a bit. (although I do think she is a tad clingy friend-wise... not in a bad way, just very dedicated, and I am one of those people who doesnt attach to friends that quickly... oh well... she's cool)

Anyway, I need to shower before I go to brunch now... I can write this off as research for my class. Yeah!

P.S.

I was wearing this golden MU hat with my new Island House t-shirt last night. Effective combo if I say so myself. Downright cute.

Budweiser bad, caffeine good

Well, it is Saturday morning, and I just don't understand why I am awake. I got to bed last night after work at about 4am, but come 9am today my body was just like "PING--time to wake up!."

I had a good shift last night. Better than good, I enjoyed it more than I have in a while. Part of that is that I was drinking B^e, a new budweiser product that has caffeine in it. It tastes like Berryweis, and is pretty good (only 10oz. to a bottle though as opposed to the normal 12) Anyway, it gave me this buzz and giddy energy. I was bouncing all over the place. But costumers like that when their bartender has energy, so I think it was a good thing. Jared and Dee both made fun of me, but that is pretty par for the course. I love Jared and dont take him seriously, and Dee, well Dee just tries to get under my skin.

What's funny though is that we just got a new credit card machine. Just yesterday I had told my roommate how glad I was that I didnt have to mess with credit cards at my job. That was due to an overcharge that someone added at the Island House in Key West. The bartender added a 1 in front of my 7, to make my total 17... Anyway, I was just saying I am glad I dont have to deal with credit cards... And low and behold, a credit card machine appears. Yuck. It'll be complicated for a little while, but Im sure it will work itself out. But still. yuck.

I finally got my hat back yesterday from the boy who somehow ended up with it in his car... Riding in cars with boys... Still find him attractive, but in a hook-up way, not a relationship way. Hmm. whatever.

Other than that, yesterday I played online, wasted time, went to class and made a complete ASS out of myself in Spanish. I was trying SO hard to behave to... The class was under observation yesterday, and I really like the prof, so I was trying to be good (which normally Im not, I am kinda a trouble maker in that class). And I ended up saying something lewd and distasteful (under goading from both the teacher and my work group) but I just felt like an idiot/ass/fuckhead. I left with my tail between my legs (and a lower test grade than I had expected... I keep making stupid errors) and went and worked out my frustrations a little. then home, cooked a decent meal with some fresh veggies, nap then work.

oh, and yesterday I sent in my tuition deposit for St. Thomas and received a letter inviting me into the Phi Beta Kappa honor society. Cool. I think. Anyway... on we go. I need to get some actual work done before I go in today. Otherwise this weekend is going to be a wash (which they usually are).

bed time?

I should totally be in bed right now... Soon I am going to eat something and then regret it... PS Im a little drunk...

So, I went to the Milwaukee Ballet for my critical writing class (which I hate) and it was a good show, more or less. I was hoping my new internet pal (Duncan) would come along, but alas, we didnt exchange messages in time. Then I went to Triangle with my ex, (Bart) . I love (Bart). There are times I am very sad that we broke up. Like tonight. I totally wish that he was still by my side. He gets me more than most. At the same time, I also made friendly with (Edward), the cute guy with the adorable nose who I totally dissed last summer. I have always liked him, but it has never worked out. Partially because I have been told by some close to me that he is dumb as a stump. But I dont see that. I just dont know. I guess the key to this spring/summer will be to remain friends with all these guys. Which sucks on one hand, but also allows me to truly enjoy my summer. Now that I think about it, one of the best summers of my life was when I was dating Tyson long-distance, and I had to refrain all summer from forbidden fruit. Maybe that's the way I should treat guys this summer: like I want to, but can't.

Oh, and a friend from a while ago (older guy) told me that he used to be a priest. Wow. Wierd. That totally could have been my life.

Okay, time for bed. otherwise I will write something I will regret (if I havent already)