Closing Credit Cards

Now that the student loans have come in, and I have had the chance to pay off most of the debt from this last summer, it is once again time to close off some credit cards. Why exactly is it that while you HAVE a credit card, it feels like you are being gang-raped by a toolbox, but when you finally want to close a card, it is like you are clubbing a baby seal?

"Well, we at Discover have enjoyed our relationship, and we're sorry to see you go."

Fuck yeah you've enjoyed the relationship. Glad one of us has. Geez.

Funny, the last time I was on the phone with Discover I was trying to figure out why my interest rate had suddenly skyrocketed. "Not a whole lot I can tell you. I think your intro rate is just over..." Gee thanks... It was June, and my intro rate was NOT over... At that point, I was carrying a decent amount on the card, knowing that I had a Zero percent rate until October of this year, and had paid meticulously on time so that I wouldnt lose that rate. Then, all of a sudden, Im paying 25% on WAY too much balance. I freaked, opened a new card with a new intro rate for Zero, and paid $80 to transfer the balance. Shit.

So tonight I call Discover:

Sweetest Operator on Earth who likens my closing my account to Kitten Genocide: "Can I ask why you would like to close your account?"

ME: "Cause ya'll jacked up my rate on me, and I got screwed and scared and took my money elsewhere."

SOE: "That's just horrible. Well, I can take your rate back down now, if I can get you to come back to us, we'd hate to lose you..."

ME: (inner monologue) OMG YOU FUCKING HATEFUL BITCH! I HATE YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR!!! (actually spoken) Ummm... No. Thanks though.


Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Drop Dead Gorgeous" Republica,
Republica