I have a friend who is grappling a lot lately with his mother. She constantly seems to be playing hot and cold with the fact he is gay. One minute she seems okay with it, another she seems to draw needless hurtful lines in the sand that only create a further distance between her and her son.
I had the opportunity to mentor a lot of young gay folks when I was in college. And one truth was apparent: the parents nearly always come around to accept their child and love him deeper for the secret that no longer stands between them. It may take years, and years, but most eventually become their kid's greatest allies and fiercest defenders. And in the few instances where they didn't, the gay person went on to be happier for being who he is, but he went on without his parent(s). And its cripplingly sad, but he is the one who moves on. The parents never really do.
I just want to take this mother and shake her. Do you realize how much you are going to regret all of these petty little fights? All the times when you hurt your beautiful son? I am confident that she will one day come around, and I want to tell her to do it soon. There is no "gray" in love. You either do or you dont. You support him or you dont. You want him in your life or your dont. And every time you make some petty-ass decision to let something come between you and your son, you will regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not even soon. But someday you will look back: perhaps you will then have a greater understanding of what an ass you were or perhaps you will simply wonder why you dont have a better relationship with your son. And here's the answer: you didnt love him enough. So its time to cut the bullshit. Its time to let it go, see your son for the magnificent young man he is. Someone who is kind and caring, funny and intelligent, driven and, most importantly: happy in who he is.
Be happy for him. Be happy with him. I guarantee that it will only make both your lives better.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Top Chicago Pride Moments
* Studying flashcards while driving so as not to get frustrated with Wisconsin drivers
* Having a road race at 105 mph the moment I crossed over the Illinois border
* Listening to the absolutely AMAZING new Coldplay CD, Viva la Vida (I don't even like Coldplay!)
* Rolling into town, getting frustrated with parking, so just illegally parking long enough to grab a beer at my favorite spot, Roscoe's.
* Hanging out with my oldest friends in the world, Pete and John
* Laughing til I cried with my lil sis about Arrested Development quotes
* Eating a crazy good thai lunch with the aforementioned sister and admiring everything she has learned about child rearing
* Cooking a rather nice dinner on the grill and then throwing a dance party at Justine's place
* Helping certain friends get laid/find new dates ;-)
* Listening to Justine go on an on about Warren Buffet and Mars and wondering if I was the only crazy one who didn't think purchasing a planet was a good idea
* Staying out til 4:45 am and then walking a 1/2 block back to Justine's fantastic place
* Getting Mojitos at 12:30 in the afternoon and watching the Gay ROTC and Kimberly Locke with my two favoritest people in the world
* Wondering "Would it look too gay if I danced?" And then remembering that I was at Pride... In Chicago... At the Kimberly Locke concert...
* Taking a "gay break" and watching Wall-E with the only person who could truly enjoy it with me
* Spending a relaxing night in to rest for the following morning... asleep 15 minutes into the movie
* Experimenting with eggs on the grill, then eating a fantabulous brunch (try sweet-potato hash-browns some time, they're killer!)
* Catching up with D and remembering some things never change. Which is awesome.
* Seeing Kim's new hair!!!
* Screaming at the Log Cabin Republicans "You're all F'ing Idiots"
* Dancing in the rain (a little Salsa with D, a little Cha Cha Slide) during the parade delays
* Seeing Kim do a Marilyn Monroe
* Eating egg rolls that some random stranger offered me because Chicagoans are AWESOME! Amazing!
* Float-hopping with some amazing chick in a purple wig
* Sitting on the ground with a couple pot-smokin drag queens as cops strolled by
* Arriving back in Minneapolis to a friend who knows exactly what I need to hear. I'll miss you Joshie!
* Coming home to find a guilt-ridden note from my aunt "Remember to cultivate loving relationships with all the people who love you. Accomplishments in this life are worth nothing if you can't share them with the people you love." I couldn't agree more! Thank you to all my wonderful Chicago friends!
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Strawberry Swing" Coldplay,
Viva la Vida
* Having a road race at 105 mph the moment I crossed over the Illinois border
* Listening to the absolutely AMAZING new Coldplay CD, Viva la Vida (I don't even like Coldplay!)
* Rolling into town, getting frustrated with parking, so just illegally parking long enough to grab a beer at my favorite spot, Roscoe's.
* Hanging out with my oldest friends in the world, Pete and John
* Laughing til I cried with my lil sis about Arrested Development quotes
* Eating a crazy good thai lunch with the aforementioned sister and admiring everything she has learned about child rearing
* Cooking a rather nice dinner on the grill and then throwing a dance party at Justine's place
* Helping certain friends get laid/find new dates ;-)
* Listening to Justine go on an on about Warren Buffet and Mars and wondering if I was the only crazy one who didn't think purchasing a planet was a good idea
* Staying out til 4:45 am and then walking a 1/2 block back to Justine's fantastic place
* Getting Mojitos at 12:30 in the afternoon and watching the Gay ROTC and Kimberly Locke with my two favoritest people in the world
* Wondering "Would it look too gay if I danced?" And then remembering that I was at Pride... In Chicago... At the Kimberly Locke concert...
* Taking a "gay break" and watching Wall-E with the only person who could truly enjoy it with me
* Spending a relaxing night in to rest for the following morning... asleep 15 minutes into the movie
* Experimenting with eggs on the grill, then eating a fantabulous brunch (try sweet-potato hash-browns some time, they're killer!)
* Catching up with D and remembering some things never change. Which is awesome.
* Seeing Kim's new hair!!!
* Screaming at the Log Cabin Republicans "You're all F'ing Idiots"
* Dancing in the rain (a little Salsa with D, a little Cha Cha Slide) during the parade delays
* Seeing Kim do a Marilyn Monroe
* Eating egg rolls that some random stranger offered me because Chicagoans are AWESOME! Amazing!
* Float-hopping with some amazing chick in a purple wig
* Sitting on the ground with a couple pot-smokin drag queens as cops strolled by
* Arriving back in Minneapolis to a friend who knows exactly what I need to hear. I'll miss you Joshie!
* Coming home to find a guilt-ridden note from my aunt "Remember to cultivate loving relationships with all the people who love you. Accomplishments in this life are worth nothing if you can't share them with the people you love." I couldn't agree more! Thank you to all my wonderful Chicago friends!
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Strawberry Swing" Coldplay,
Viva la Vida
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Tendering my Notice
So today I gave my landlord my notice to vacate my apartment at the end of August.
It's so funny, I've spent the last two+ years bitching about how I just didn't "feel" the community in the Twin Cities... Just didn't feel very well connected to anything outside of law school. There were times when I swore I was gonna get out of here as fast as possible. And now that it's getting to be time to leave, I really really know that Im going to miss this place.
It's weird how this shit works. In a little over two months Im gonna have to pack up all my shit again, put it into a storage facility somewhere and patiently (not so patiently) wait to receive my placement in Wisconsin. Im sure I will eventually get really excited about wherever I get to go, to practice law, to establish a new community, but for right now all I have is the "leaving" part. My darlin little sis got all excited on the phone yesterday with me about the prospect of me moving closer to her. And that will be great, but I just couldn't share in her excitement in that moment. Cause all that means for me right now is that I am giving up everything here. Rough.
In a way its really good that I am getting out of here for a few days to go do Pride in Chicago. If I were to stick around here for our Pride it would likely only amplify my desire to stay put.
I've lived in this apartment building for about 3 years and it is seriously going to break my heart to leave this building and to leave the friendships that I feel only now are getting fortified. Its these transitions that challenge us. And at least on the plus-side I have the bar to focus on. Ick. THAT's my plus side. Haha.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Age Six Racer" Dashboard Confessional,
Swiss Army Romance
It's so funny, I've spent the last two+ years bitching about how I just didn't "feel" the community in the Twin Cities... Just didn't feel very well connected to anything outside of law school. There were times when I swore I was gonna get out of here as fast as possible. And now that it's getting to be time to leave, I really really know that Im going to miss this place.
It's weird how this shit works. In a little over two months Im gonna have to pack up all my shit again, put it into a storage facility somewhere and patiently (not so patiently) wait to receive my placement in Wisconsin. Im sure I will eventually get really excited about wherever I get to go, to practice law, to establish a new community, but for right now all I have is the "leaving" part. My darlin little sis got all excited on the phone yesterday with me about the prospect of me moving closer to her. And that will be great, but I just couldn't share in her excitement in that moment. Cause all that means for me right now is that I am giving up everything here. Rough.
In a way its really good that I am getting out of here for a few days to go do Pride in Chicago. If I were to stick around here for our Pride it would likely only amplify my desire to stay put.
I've lived in this apartment building for about 3 years and it is seriously going to break my heart to leave this building and to leave the friendships that I feel only now are getting fortified. Its these transitions that challenge us. And at least on the plus-side I have the bar to focus on. Ick. THAT's my plus side. Haha.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Age Six Racer" Dashboard Confessional,
Swiss Army Romance
Thursday, June 19, 2008
To my Grandparents:
Jon and Jane,
It is apparent from the card you recently sent me that you don’t understand how angry I continue to be at the two of you.
I asked my father to have a discussion with you about this, and I am not sure if he did or not, but I found out sometime this winter that you both signed a petition in Florida to have the state constitution amended to permanently ban gay marriage.
Believe what you will believe. I can agree to disagree. But what you did in this act was to sign a public document stating that you never want to see me as happy as my other cousins, that you never want me to be considered equal. My father has always taught me that love is an act, expressed over and over again. Your act was anything but loving. I don’t even know how to describe your action, but it was not loving.
I have accomplished much in my life, supported by many individuals who have loved and helped me along the way. And I have come to be very proud of who I am, including the fact that I am gay and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But in my short life I have learned that I don’t need people around me who will hurt me. I am returning your check. I don’t want your money. I would sooner drown in my own debt than accept money from someone who would turn around and sign a public document stating that they don’t see me as an equal. I am better than that.
I hope that you both live long enough to hear about the day I get married. It will be among the happiest days of my life. That will be an act of love.
C
It is apparent from the card you recently sent me that you don’t understand how angry I continue to be at the two of you.
I asked my father to have a discussion with you about this, and I am not sure if he did or not, but I found out sometime this winter that you both signed a petition in Florida to have the state constitution amended to permanently ban gay marriage.
Believe what you will believe. I can agree to disagree. But what you did in this act was to sign a public document stating that you never want to see me as happy as my other cousins, that you never want me to be considered equal. My father has always taught me that love is an act, expressed over and over again. Your act was anything but loving. I don’t even know how to describe your action, but it was not loving.
I have accomplished much in my life, supported by many individuals who have loved and helped me along the way. And I have come to be very proud of who I am, including the fact that I am gay and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But in my short life I have learned that I don’t need people around me who will hurt me. I am returning your check. I don’t want your money. I would sooner drown in my own debt than accept money from someone who would turn around and sign a public document stating that they don’t see me as an equal. I am better than that.
I hope that you both live long enough to hear about the day I get married. It will be among the happiest days of my life. That will be an act of love.
C
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Remembering the Titans: Clinton and Obama Style
Being Saturday night, I took a break from studying to watch "Remember the Titans," which has been on my Netflix cue. For someone who hates sports movies, that truly is an amazing movie, and an amazing reminder of our history. There came a point in the movie that I had to remind myself that "this" was just 60 years ago... The abject and outright hate that tore our country apart was just 60 years ago.
It amazes me that we were at that point in our history... There is simply no denying that it is one of our more shameful historical moments. But, as Coach Carter did in this movie, we need to look to the past and let the blood of those before us inspire and teach us. To love beyond race, beyond gender, beyond nationality, and, quite frankly, beyond ourselves.
Today, Sen. Hillary Clinton announced that she was suspending her campaign. In many ways, this reminds me of Coach Yoast in this movie: she had every right to fill the "head coach" position. She should have been our "Hall of Famer." But there is a rift in our country that needs to be filled, a wound that still needs to be healed, and progress that needs to be made, and there is someone else who can better help to accomplish that goal. I am so very proud to think that Barack Obama could be our next president. Will be our next president.
It was Coach Carter's unbridled audacity and influence that transformed that Virginia town into a vibrant example of integrated, fair, decent society, slowly teaching its citizens to love and respect one another despite their differences. But in the end it was both he and Coach Yoast (the white coach) who learned to work together to make the team everything that it could be.
This is not my pitch for making Sen. Clinton the VP candidate. Quite frankly I think that would be a political mistake. Rather, I think that our party, our people, have the potential to gather around this new leader of our party and create a new reality. Taking one more step forward in a society that has learned many lessons in our short history.
These are some titans to remember.
It amazes me that we were at that point in our history... There is simply no denying that it is one of our more shameful historical moments. But, as Coach Carter did in this movie, we need to look to the past and let the blood of those before us inspire and teach us. To love beyond race, beyond gender, beyond nationality, and, quite frankly, beyond ourselves.
Today, Sen. Hillary Clinton announced that she was suspending her campaign. In many ways, this reminds me of Coach Yoast in this movie: she had every right to fill the "head coach" position. She should have been our "Hall of Famer." But there is a rift in our country that needs to be filled, a wound that still needs to be healed, and progress that needs to be made, and there is someone else who can better help to accomplish that goal. I am so very proud to think that Barack Obama could be our next president. Will be our next president.
It was Coach Carter's unbridled audacity and influence that transformed that Virginia town into a vibrant example of integrated, fair, decent society, slowly teaching its citizens to love and respect one another despite their differences. But in the end it was both he and Coach Yoast (the white coach) who learned to work together to make the team everything that it could be.
This is not my pitch for making Sen. Clinton the VP candidate. Quite frankly I think that would be a political mistake. Rather, I think that our party, our people, have the potential to gather around this new leader of our party and create a new reality. Taking one more step forward in a society that has learned many lessons in our short history.
These are some titans to remember.
The (Second) Worst Summer of My Life
Well, I don't know about you, but I was up until about 11:30 last night. Friday night that is... Studying. Yup. Practice Bar Essays, Outlines, Flashcards and whatnot. And here it is, 8:20 am on one of the only Saturdays until August when I DONT have a 9am class, and I'm back studying again.
Its funny: I have heard from about 6 different lecturers that we should consider this summer, the summer of Bar Prep, to be the worst of our lives. Finally one of the lecturers on Thursday conceded, "Well, unless you have had a close family member die or have served in Iraq." Phew... Well at least maybe this will be the Second-Worst summer in my life.
I think it is hard for most people to understand what a big deal this F'ing test is, and how excruciating it is to study for. Two solid days of testing over the intricate details of at least 15 different areas of law (including something called "Commercial Paper," whatever THAT is), in both essay format and multiple choice. But wait, there's more: one day you are being tested on the laws of a local jurisdiction (WI for me), and the next you are being tested on general law principles which often directly contradict your state's laws. Great. Oh, and also, in the long run your score is being "scaled" against the other test takers, so this F'ing test is on a curve as well. Yippee.
Oh, and if you fail, you will be disappointing your school, losing any potential job opportunities you had for at least 6 months and will have to do all of this again.
I was talking to a fellow bar-taker about the fact that people don't seem to get what a big deal all this is. I proposed passing a law: "All persons in preparation for taking a bar exam, within two months of taking such exam, are excused from any social obligations that might be expected of them, including anniversaries, birthdays, and things like Father's Day. This assembly recognizes that they need to fall off the face of the planet for a little while and should be allowed to do so with impunity." Or something like that.
Also, because I started to get entertained by this yesterday, here is just a sampling of the "status messages" of some of my friends who are studying for the bar right now:
Chris is going to run away and live at Greenacre.
Deepa is re-living the nightmare of first year property.
Leyla is realizing she didn't learn a darn thing in law school.
Suzanne: my brain has already reached its max...oh mf.
Ryan wishes he had an "easy" button.
Meg is contemplating a life on the pole rather than continuing to study for the bar.
Jake is Bawws deep in Con Law.
Dee Ann doesn't even want to be a lawyer.
Jenny feels like she'll never stop studying...
Karen's fortune cookie just told her she would make a good lawyer...hmmm...
John is flipping a coin between attorney and box car hobo.
Good Times.
Its funny: I have heard from about 6 different lecturers that we should consider this summer, the summer of Bar Prep, to be the worst of our lives. Finally one of the lecturers on Thursday conceded, "Well, unless you have had a close family member die or have served in Iraq." Phew... Well at least maybe this will be the Second-Worst summer in my life.
I think it is hard for most people to understand what a big deal this F'ing test is, and how excruciating it is to study for. Two solid days of testing over the intricate details of at least 15 different areas of law (including something called "Commercial Paper," whatever THAT is), in both essay format and multiple choice. But wait, there's more: one day you are being tested on the laws of a local jurisdiction (WI for me), and the next you are being tested on general law principles which often directly contradict your state's laws. Great. Oh, and also, in the long run your score is being "scaled" against the other test takers, so this F'ing test is on a curve as well. Yippee.
Oh, and if you fail, you will be disappointing your school, losing any potential job opportunities you had for at least 6 months and will have to do all of this again.
I was talking to a fellow bar-taker about the fact that people don't seem to get what a big deal all this is. I proposed passing a law: "All persons in preparation for taking a bar exam, within two months of taking such exam, are excused from any social obligations that might be expected of them, including anniversaries, birthdays, and things like Father's Day. This assembly recognizes that they need to fall off the face of the planet for a little while and should be allowed to do so with impunity." Or something like that.
Also, because I started to get entertained by this yesterday, here is just a sampling of the "status messages" of some of my friends who are studying for the bar right now:
Chris is going to run away and live at Greenacre.
Deepa is re-living the nightmare of first year property.
Leyla is realizing she didn't learn a darn thing in law school.
Suzanne: my brain has already reached its max...oh mf.
Ryan wishes he had an "easy" button.
Meg is contemplating a life on the pole rather than continuing to study for the bar.
Jake is Bawws deep in Con Law.
Dee Ann doesn't even want to be a lawyer.
Jenny feels like she'll never stop studying...
Karen's fortune cookie just told her she would make a good lawyer...hmmm...
John is flipping a coin between attorney and box car hobo.
Good Times.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Transitions... Again
It is kinda a humid, stuffy day today in my office. It is, in fact, my last day here. After two years clerking for the Public Defender I have to say goodbye. I'm having a bit of trouble with it, to be honest. I will certainly miss the people, the work, the atmosphere... This job has been an unexpected gift from God. And it sucks to walk away from it.
So here's where I am at: I graduated law school magna cum laude. My adoption article was published by our law journal earlier this month. There was a TON of drama this year at law school (one very good reason I wasn't writing). I also wasn't writing because I largely didn't feel I needed to. I had enough outlets around for my occasional venting. Writing seems a bit more necessary now.
It looks like I am going to be working for the Wisconsin Public Defender, which is fantastic. Our office here had its funding cut, so there was no job potential here (we kinda knew that was going to be the outcome), so it is super nice that I have this job offer keeping me sane. On the downside I won't know where I will be living until about October, once bar results are announced. So until then I am studying for the Wisconsin bar, staying put here while many of my friends move away, and then figuring out what to do with the months of August and September (I have already applied to a local grocery store for a position re-stocking shelves... Im also thinking of standing next to the road begging with a sign that reads: "Graduated with Honors from Law School - Can't get a job").
Its kinda funny, because the ONLY thing I have to get done today is a rather simple memo that I am really just putting off. I may try to get it done over the weekend. I just am not quite mentally ready to be done.
Personally I am at a bit of an awkward point as well. On the one hand I want to grab at every opportunity with my various friend groups to spend as much quality time with everyone as possible. On the other hand I have this deep desire to hole-up, divest from relationships and quietly slip away.
A large part of all of this is that I have WAY too much free time at the moment. I have been running at about 150% for the last three years: full time school with sometimes two other jobs, running the social apparatus for the school while on law journal and creating all sorts of problems for the school along the way. Now it's just me. No job. No school. No social structure. Just me. Wow. That's kinda a scary thought.
So here's where I am at: I graduated law school magna cum laude. My adoption article was published by our law journal earlier this month. There was a TON of drama this year at law school (one very good reason I wasn't writing). I also wasn't writing because I largely didn't feel I needed to. I had enough outlets around for my occasional venting. Writing seems a bit more necessary now.
It looks like I am going to be working for the Wisconsin Public Defender, which is fantastic. Our office here had its funding cut, so there was no job potential here (we kinda knew that was going to be the outcome), so it is super nice that I have this job offer keeping me sane. On the downside I won't know where I will be living until about October, once bar results are announced. So until then I am studying for the Wisconsin bar, staying put here while many of my friends move away, and then figuring out what to do with the months of August and September (I have already applied to a local grocery store for a position re-stocking shelves... Im also thinking of standing next to the road begging with a sign that reads: "Graduated with Honors from Law School - Can't get a job").
Its kinda funny, because the ONLY thing I have to get done today is a rather simple memo that I am really just putting off. I may try to get it done over the weekend. I just am not quite mentally ready to be done.
Personally I am at a bit of an awkward point as well. On the one hand I want to grab at every opportunity with my various friend groups to spend as much quality time with everyone as possible. On the other hand I have this deep desire to hole-up, divest from relationships and quietly slip away.
A large part of all of this is that I have WAY too much free time at the moment. I have been running at about 150% for the last three years: full time school with sometimes two other jobs, running the social apparatus for the school while on law journal and creating all sorts of problems for the school along the way. Now it's just me. No job. No school. No social structure. Just me. Wow. That's kinda a scary thought.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Gays Behaving Badly
Well, this is interesting... Its being reported that one of the defendants in the Michael Sandy murder trial just had his lawyer "come out" for him in opening statements for the trial. The idea is, "It couldn't be a hate crime, cause I'm gay too." Except, as I have often pointed out, closet-cases are a breed of a whole different color.
I can't help but notice that us gays are in the news a lot lately for some rather stupid shit. (Hey, we had nothing to do with O.J.'s latest.) And while I, personally, see it all as a result of the dark and twisting nature of the closet, I recognize that this is a fairly educated and nuanced view.
Anthony Fortunato didnt steal from people because he was gay: he did it cause he was a maladjusted idiot. Senator Craig didn't seek out bathroom sex because he is gay: he did it because he was a fucked up closet-case (as are most bathroom-sex-seekers). Catholic priests aren't diddling little boys because they're gay: they are doing it because they have the sexual maturities of 12-year-olds and because of repressed sexual urges that the Vatican won't even acknowledge.
In the end, I suppose "no news is bad news" to some extent, in that the more that gay people are acknowledged (even if occasionally emphasizing the crazies) the more the general public will have to acknowledge our presence. And maybe, just maybe, people will start catching on to the underlying issues that are harmer both our community and the general populace: repression and discrimination.
I can't help but notice that us gays are in the news a lot lately for some rather stupid shit. (Hey, we had nothing to do with O.J.'s latest.) And while I, personally, see it all as a result of the dark and twisting nature of the closet, I recognize that this is a fairly educated and nuanced view.
Anthony Fortunato didnt steal from people because he was gay: he did it cause he was a maladjusted idiot. Senator Craig didn't seek out bathroom sex because he is gay: he did it because he was a fucked up closet-case (as are most bathroom-sex-seekers). Catholic priests aren't diddling little boys because they're gay: they are doing it because they have the sexual maturities of 12-year-olds and because of repressed sexual urges that the Vatican won't even acknowledge.
In the end, I suppose "no news is bad news" to some extent, in that the more that gay people are acknowledged (even if occasionally emphasizing the crazies) the more the general public will have to acknowledge our presence. And maybe, just maybe, people will start catching on to the underlying issues that are harmer both our community and the general populace: repression and discrimination.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Post-Fest 2007
Its been a heavy news time, and I definitely need to get back in the saddle in regards to writing, but here's to a quick start.
First the bad:
HIV resurges among young gay men in New York. Shameful. Truly. What the fuck? How idiotic can we be? Use a condom, EVERY TIME. No if, ands or buts. This is a sad, but unfortunately more common phenomenon. Fear just aint working any more (of course, I said that back in 2003). Meanwhile, in Papua New Guinea, mobs are murdering or burying alive women with AIDS. Lawmakers there are also considering planting tracking chips in those with AIDs... Backwards much?
Oh yeah. And scientist predict polar bears will be wiped off the face of the earth by the end of the century. Looks like Coca-Cola will have to find a new holiday image. So sad.
Then the good:
A former University of Wisconsin (Madison) football player is giving half his estate ($1 million) to the UW's LGBT center. Wow. Seriously.
Students in Nova Scotia are wearing pink shirts to stand up for a kid bullied for wearing pink. These kids are freaking awesome.
Unity08, an internet campaign to put a Third Party ticket on the 2008 ballot that might not be quite as much of a partisan hack. I had thought that the whole idea behind Unity was a liberal-dream of "why can't we all get along" politics. But, as a recent study shows, the following is truly about as bi-partisan as you can get. People all along the political spectrum are buying in. And the money quote on issues: "Gun ownership, abortion rights, and gay marriage came in dead last in the rankings." Its time for the discussion to move on. Agreed.
First the bad:
HIV resurges among young gay men in New York. Shameful. Truly. What the fuck? How idiotic can we be? Use a condom, EVERY TIME. No if, ands or buts. This is a sad, but unfortunately more common phenomenon. Fear just aint working any more (of course, I said that back in 2003). Meanwhile, in Papua New Guinea, mobs are murdering or burying alive women with AIDS. Lawmakers there are also considering planting tracking chips in those with AIDs... Backwards much?
Oh yeah. And scientist predict polar bears will be wiped off the face of the earth by the end of the century. Looks like Coca-Cola will have to find a new holiday image. So sad.
Then the good:
A former University of Wisconsin (Madison) football player is giving half his estate ($1 million) to the UW's LGBT center. Wow. Seriously.
Students in Nova Scotia are wearing pink shirts to stand up for a kid bullied for wearing pink. These kids are freaking awesome.
Unity08, an internet campaign to put a Third Party ticket on the 2008 ballot that might not be quite as much of a partisan hack. I had thought that the whole idea behind Unity was a liberal-dream of "why can't we all get along" politics. But, as a recent study shows, the following is truly about as bi-partisan as you can get. People all along the political spectrum are buying in. And the money quote on issues: "Gun ownership, abortion rights, and gay marriage came in dead last in the rankings." Its time for the discussion to move on. Agreed.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Incredible Guys
Well that was fun!
As a favor to an old friend, for the last two nights I have housed and entertained (somewhat) 4 guys who are traveling around the country in an RV creating a documentary about people who have really pursued their passion. It is, ironically enough, called Pursue the Passion.
I got to know these guys pretty quick, and they were 4 incredibly different personalities, but all the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. It was also good to distract me from some of the shit that has been going on in my head, which was somewhat important yesterday. In particular, I bonded with Noah, a writer and rapper from Tucson, who I just had an awesome connection with. It was kinda like: "Wow. We could be good friends!" Given how hard I have found it to connect to people in the Cities on exactly that type of level, I was certainly sad to see him go. We had gone out last night with his bus-mate Zach to the 19-Bar, and just had too much fun talking politics over far too much beer.
I also just noticed that they mentioned me in their travel blog regarding a conversation I had about the concept of "vacation" in our culture. They call me a "passionate public defender." I like that. Good stuff.
And as much as I love my job, I've gotta admit that I'm more than a little jealous of the trip they continue to have ahead of them.
Below: a clip from one of the many press interviews they have had
As a favor to an old friend, for the last two nights I have housed and entertained (somewhat) 4 guys who are traveling around the country in an RV creating a documentary about people who have really pursued their passion. It is, ironically enough, called Pursue the Passion.
I got to know these guys pretty quick, and they were 4 incredibly different personalities, but all the nicest guys you could ever hope to meet. It was also good to distract me from some of the shit that has been going on in my head, which was somewhat important yesterday. In particular, I bonded with Noah, a writer and rapper from Tucson, who I just had an awesome connection with. It was kinda like: "Wow. We could be good friends!" Given how hard I have found it to connect to people in the Cities on exactly that type of level, I was certainly sad to see him go. We had gone out last night with his bus-mate Zach to the 19-Bar, and just had too much fun talking politics over far too much beer.
I also just noticed that they mentioned me in their travel blog regarding a conversation I had about the concept of "vacation" in our culture. They call me a "passionate public defender." I like that. Good stuff.
And as much as I love my job, I've gotta admit that I'm more than a little jealous of the trip they continue to have ahead of them.
Below: a clip from one of the many press interviews they have had
Interesting Campaign
I have had this website open on my desktop for about a week now, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about it (not that it matters since the campaign looks like it ended last December). I think the idea of making people aware that they might be carrying HIV (or any other STD) without knowing it is a good notion, but I do remember a less educated time when people thought you could get HIV from a water fountain or pool... And this PR stunt originated in South America, where education on these issues still havent reached the level they have here. So a campaign based on "I got HIV through someone touching me..." has some problematic potential.
Still though, props for creativity. I hope that there is enough education going on along with this effort.
Still though, props for creativity. I hope that there is enough education going on along with this effort.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Thrilling and Scary
Last night I went to pick up my roommate from the airport. She was late because her plane had been circling the city as there was continuous heat lightning for a good couple hours when they were scheduled to land. Apparently getting hit by lightning while landing isn't a fun experience.
But just as we left the airport the heat lightning broke and became a torrential downpour. I'm
not sure I've ever seen a storm quite like that. Or, for that matter, driven through one. We had flash flooding coming up to the top of the wheels, and lightning that felt like it was right on top of us. I thought I could literally see my skeleton, like in the cartoons. We made it back to our apartment safe and sound. My roommate was relieved. I, on the other hand, was just a little disappointed that I didn't get zapped and end up with super powers. That's just me though.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Hundred" The Fray,
How to Save a Life
But just as we left the airport the heat lightning broke and became a torrential downpour. I'm
not sure I've ever seen a storm quite like that. Or, for that matter, driven through one. We had flash flooding coming up to the top of the wheels, and lightning that felt like it was right on top of us. I thought I could literally see my skeleton, like in the cartoons. We made it back to our apartment safe and sound. My roommate was relieved. I, on the other hand, was just a little disappointed that I didn't get zapped and end up with super powers. That's just me though.Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Hundred" The Fray,
How to Save a Life
Monday, August 13, 2007
Just What the Doctor Ordered
Okay. Wow. That was a fun weekend.
To be honest, and not to get all melancholy, but I have been getting a little depressed here in big ole Minneapolis. I don't have the friend base that I have grown accustomed to, and have had problems meeting people... I don't know quite what the deal is, but I'm finding this city just not that friendly. People don't like talking to strangers. I had a really rough week last week trying to make connections with friends who either canceled, ignored or otherwise shrugged off my attempts to find people to hang out with. I mean, seriously, how hard is it just to find a friend to go to a movie with? And I try not to, but at a certain point, I can't help but take it personally and wonder what's wrong with me... Well, nothing. And I knew that all along, but I just needed to get out of here for a bit to remember that.
I took a last minute trip to Chicago to spend some time with my oldest and dearest friends. J, probably my best friend from college, just bought an incredible condo 1 block off of Boystown, and I stayed in "Christian's Room" as she has dubbed it. It was just incredible to be hanging out with her, and meeting up with several other friends who I know I can always count on.
I took Friday afternoon off and ended up renting a car and driving down there with a buddy from work, who was likewise going to Chicago to visit his boyfriend. Once we got there, J made me dinner and after gawking at her unbelievable new home, we went out on the town. First to SideTrakk, which is MUCH the better than it's Traverse City version (the only gay bar in my home town: literally a double wide trailer). Within minutes at that bar we happened to bump into a couple from Traverse who have served as my friends and mentors since I came out at age 17. Quite incredible to see them out, and I was thrilled to catch up with them.
And here's the thing: when we went to the bar to grab some drinks, random people just started talking to us. Maybe it was unique to MarketDays, which was last weekend, but it was amazing to have people strike up a conversation! I can NEVER get people to do that in Minneapolis!
From SideTrakk J and I moved on to Hydrate to meet up with one of my childhood friends (known me since 2nd grade) and his new wife. Let the flood of people wash over us there for a bit, then over to Buck's for pool. Again, people just randomly chatting with us left and right. We lasted to bar close, and then made our way home.
The next morning, J and I got breakfast, then walked around Ma
rket Days, collecting condoms and flirting with random guys at random tables. About noon we met up with another friend (also from 2nd grade) and his ex-girlfriend, who I adore. We ended up drinking outside straight from noon until 7:30. J and I actually forgot to eat, and were making ourselves quite happy drinking Bacardi's canned Mojitos.... Quite yummy. But by 7:30 I was dancing shirtless in the street and motorboating complete strangers (see photo), before I passed out neatly in my room.
I woke up about 2am, roaring and ready to go. "What the hell?" I thought, so I hit the streets, looking for some fun. As I was walking up Halstead, a small Filipino guy, Danny, approached me:
"Hey, how you doing?"
"Good." I said, wondering what he wanted.
"Are you straight?" he asked.
"No, why do you ask?" I responded.
"Good. Let's go get a drink." And just like that, I had a companion at Buck's where we chatted til about 3am. He was even super nice after I made it clear that I wasn't interested in going home with him. After Buck's closed, Danny directed me to Hydrate, where I proceeded to dance til about 5am, stopping only to make out with Paul, a publicist from D.C. Then home, playing in the rain along the way.
The next morning, J and I met our friend D (another awesome friend from college) for brunch at Orange. The wait was excruciating, (as we hadn't eaten real food in roughly 24 hours) but it gave us ample time to catch up and the food was well worth the wait. After that, we walked around Market Days for a little while longer (saw one of gay porn's biggest stars, Matthew Rush, walking around), and then I picked up my buddy from work, and we made our way back to Minneapolis. It had been a weekend of amazing friends, shirtless guys and just feeling wonderful about myself again.
It was, indeed, just what I needed.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Spit on a Stranger" Nickel Creek,
This Side
To be honest, and not to get all melancholy, but I have been getting a little depressed here in big ole Minneapolis. I don't have the friend base that I have grown accustomed to, and have had problems meeting people... I don't know quite what the deal is, but I'm finding this city just not that friendly. People don't like talking to strangers. I had a really rough week last week trying to make connections with friends who either canceled, ignored or otherwise shrugged off my attempts to find people to hang out with. I mean, seriously, how hard is it just to find a friend to go to a movie with? And I try not to, but at a certain point, I can't help but take it personally and wonder what's wrong with me... Well, nothing. And I knew that all along, but I just needed to get out of here for a bit to remember that.
I took a last minute trip to Chicago to spend some time with my oldest and dearest friends. J, probably my best friend from college, just bought an incredible condo 1 block off of Boystown, and I stayed in "Christian's Room" as she has dubbed it. It was just incredible to be hanging out with her, and meeting up with several other friends who I know I can always count on.I took Friday afternoon off and ended up renting a car and driving down there with a buddy from work, who was likewise going to Chicago to visit his boyfriend. Once we got there, J made me dinner and after gawking at her unbelievable new home, we went out on the town. First to SideTrakk, which is MUCH the better than it's Traverse City version (the only gay bar in my home town: literally a double wide trailer). Within minutes at that bar we happened to bump into a couple from Traverse who have served as my friends and mentors since I came out at age 17. Quite incredible to see them out, and I was thrilled to catch up with them.
And here's the thing: when we went to the bar to grab some drinks, random people just started talking to us. Maybe it was unique to MarketDays, which was last weekend, but it was amazing to have people strike up a conversation! I can NEVER get people to do that in Minneapolis!
From SideTrakk J and I moved on to Hydrate to meet up with one of my childhood friends (known me since 2nd grade) and his new wife. Let the flood of people wash over us there for a bit, then over to Buck's for pool. Again, people just randomly chatting with us left and right. We lasted to bar close, and then made our way home.
The next morning, J and I got breakfast, then walked around Ma
rket Days, collecting condoms and flirting with random guys at random tables. About noon we met up with another friend (also from 2nd grade) and his ex-girlfriend, who I adore. We ended up drinking outside straight from noon until 7:30. J and I actually forgot to eat, and were making ourselves quite happy drinking Bacardi's canned Mojitos.... Quite yummy. But by 7:30 I was dancing shirtless in the street and motorboating complete strangers (see photo), before I passed out neatly in my room.I woke up about 2am, roaring and ready to go. "What the hell?" I thought, so I hit the streets, looking for some fun. As I was walking up Halstead, a small Filipino guy, Danny, approached me:
"Hey, how you doing?"
"Good." I said, wondering what he wanted.
"Are you straight?" he asked.
"No, why do you ask?" I responded.
"Good. Let's go get a drink." And just like that, I had a companion at Buck's where we chatted til about 3am. He was even super nice after I made it clear that I wasn't interested in going home with him. After Buck's closed, Danny directed me to Hydrate, where I proceeded to dance til about 5am, stopping only to make out with Paul, a publicist from D.C. Then home, playing in the rain along the way.
The next morning, J and I met our friend D (another awesome friend from college) for brunch at Orange. The wait was excruciating, (as we hadn't eaten real food in roughly 24 hours) but it gave us ample time to catch up and the food was well worth the wait. After that, we walked around Market Days for a little while longer (saw one of gay porn's biggest stars, Matthew Rush, walking around), and then I picked up my buddy from work, and we made our way back to Minneapolis. It had been a weekend of amazing friends, shirtless guys and just feeling wonderful about myself again.It was, indeed, just what I needed.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Spit on a Stranger" Nickel Creek,
This Side
Thursday, August 09, 2007
This scares the hell out of me...
A recent article was printed in the New Yorker regarding the CIA's "Black Sites" and their interrogation techniques. I don't think that it will shock anyone in its content, but the thoroughness of the analysis creates a picture that should truly make you appreciate the absolute horror of the way we have allowed our government to treat people. It is lengthy, but certainly worth the read.
I am not a terrorist. In fact, I am a bit of a pacifist. But my personality has always been one to get in people's faces, cause problems, and confront establishment. Just ask my various school administrations, including a high school principal who still dreads seeing me. I now have a job where I quite literally fight the government on a daily basis. So the question becomes: "Who do I have to bug/cajole/expose/politically threaten/deviate from/scare in order for someone in our government to decide it is time for me to 'disappear'?"
It is unfathomable that the CIA or the US Military would spy on domestic groups. Wait. That has already happened.
It is unfathomable that our government would raid an apartment to "disappear" a terror suspect (somewhat like the Pinochet regime in Chile, really), and hold them outside of due process and torture them. Wait. That has already been happening as well.
It is unfathomable that the US Government could scoop up a well-meaning but politically threatening journalist/lawyer/activist to silence him.... How long will it be before this "unfathomable" event comes to pass?
It truly scares the hell out of me. If I were made to disappear, my family would have no idea what to do, no idea where to turn, and the devastation this would cause makes me cringe.
Where did the moral superiority of the United States go? When did it become okay to not only hit the low ground but to explore it and dwell in it? To become the rogue nation that feels it is above international law and need not comply with, well, simple morals?
I have a feeling I know what the Founders would say: unfathomable.
I am not a terrorist. In fact, I am a bit of a pacifist. But my personality has always been one to get in people's faces, cause problems, and confront establishment. Just ask my various school administrations, including a high school principal who still dreads seeing me. I now have a job where I quite literally fight the government on a daily basis. So the question becomes: "Who do I have to bug/cajole/expose/politically threaten/deviate from/scare in order for someone in our government to decide it is time for me to 'disappear'?"
It is unfathomable that the CIA or the US Military would spy on domestic groups. Wait. That has already happened.
It is unfathomable that our government would raid an apartment to "disappear" a terror suspect (somewhat like the Pinochet regime in Chile, really), and hold them outside of due process and torture them. Wait. That has already been happening as well.
It is unfathomable that the US Government could scoop up a well-meaning but politically threatening journalist/lawyer/activist to silence him.... How long will it be before this "unfathomable" event comes to pass?
It truly scares the hell out of me. If I were made to disappear, my family would have no idea what to do, no idea where to turn, and the devastation this would cause makes me cringe.
Where did the moral superiority of the United States go? When did it become okay to not only hit the low ground but to explore it and dwell in it? To become the rogue nation that feels it is above international law and need not comply with, well, simple morals?
I have a feeling I know what the Founders would say: unfathomable.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
One more reason...
... that I am so very ashamed of the Bush administration. Reuters is reporting that the former Surgeon General was muzzled by the Bush Administration on scientific issues to suit their political purposes. And this was one of their OWN APPOINTEES!! Public welfare? Not important. Public safety? Ehh. Scientific integrity? Certainly a non-issue.
Thanks Towleroad.
Thanks Towleroad.
Minneapolis #1 in Volunteerism
While I'm not altogether sure that I didn't just make up that word,
here's the story. Go us! Not a bad credential to add to your city's resume.
here's the story. Go us! Not a bad credential to add to your city's resume.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Thailand: The Epic Journey
Okay, I have put this off long enough, and it is time to get this down in writing... So much went on during this trip, and I'm sure that I'll continue updating this for my own sake as memories reappear to me, but here's my first go at it:
Friday, July 6:
After an abbreviated work week (although I had bartended Tuesday) I went out for a couple drinks with co-workers on Friday and then made my way to the Minneapolis airport via lightrail and boarded my 7pm flight to Chicago. Funny enough, I bumped into a good friend (and law journal partner) from law school, Dave and his girlfriend. It was nice to have someone friendly to talk with, if for no other reason than to alleviate some of the pre-trip stress that inevitably sets in before a trans-continental voyage.
Once in Chicago, my oldest friend Pete and his new wife Jennalee (were fantastic and) picked me up at the airport. I had gotten a hotel room with the intention that the Guy was going to meet me out there for a night together, but that wasn't going to happen, and I became increasingly grateful for the time I got to spend with Pete and his wife. As I (perhaps drunkenly) pointed out later to Jennalee, I'm extremely glad that Pete married someone cool, who can hang out with us at Hooters (our now-traditional post-airport stop; also where Pete first introduced me to her) and let us still have our fun together without getting annoyed. I am still a little bit nervous about my friends getting married (more on another friend later) but at least with these two I'm growing more and more confident that they are really ready for each other for a lifetime.
Well, anyway, after Hooters and buying a t-shirt there (great for the irony, if nothing else), we went to another Roseville bar, where Pete and I had some fairly good conversations about things I can't really remember but seemed deep at the time. One thing for sure is that Pete has a little trouble understanding my job defending both the guilty and the innocent, and I feel like I finally made some headway there. We drank for quite a few hours together before we decided that it was finally time to get me to my hotel, and I hugged them both and snuggled into a big, comfortable, (if lonely) hotel bed.
Saturday, July 7:
Although I had tried to keep myself up late to pre-adjust to the 12-hour time change to come, I woke far too early due to nerves and ended up watching a Jennifer Lopez movie to pass the time. At that point, partially due to the sappy love story on the screen and partially because of my errant thoughts, my mind inevitably went to the Guy, and how much I wanted him with me. I hadn't heard from him as to why he no-showed, and really didn't want to hear the excuses: it was becoming more and more apparent that things simply aren't going to work out. I had come to the city where he was staying, rented a hotel room, and still nothing from him... While in the end he had a reasonably valid excuse, I started off this vacation thinking about how I needed to move on, and ended it having finally done so.
Eventually I boarded a hotel shuttle to the airport, getting a call in to my sister along the way, and then quickly found my check-in station. Because I had booked my ticket with my traveling companion Nate, I waited for him to come before checking in. In what felt like an excutiating period of time, I went through a couple of magazines and just watched time go by until I finally saw him coming up. His tardiness was not that extreme, nor was it a problem of any sort, but I had arrived early, and was already more than anxious about just getting my ass in the airplane seat. I became a little terse at the moment, and immediately wondered if this was going to be the start of a very painful 15 days traveling together. (It was not. In fact, quite the opposite).
Once we had checked our things, I bought a carton of cigarettes and we had McDonalds lunch, and got through security. Nate and I then walked around terminal to stretch our legs while we could, both walking the wrong-way down the moving walkways (always fun) and spotting a statute labeled "Male Sin" (which I promptly decided I needed to "get into"). We finally heard our flight called, got into line and were ready to go. At that point an elderly Asian, perhaps 5 feet tall, cut directly in front of me. My response: a mumbled "Honey, just because you are below my sight-line doesnt mean I can't see you..." She didn't hear me, and I let it go. Let's just get on the plane already!
Turns out Korean Air is absolutely splendid. Both Nate and I got aisle seats next to each other, and we spent most of the flight watching among the 25+ movies you could select on your personal tv-screen, playing video games, and tracking our flight. The food was pretty damn good too, and I was longing for those Korean Noodles on every flight thereafter. Also, they give you socks to wear. How can you beat that?
After an otherwise uneventful flight, we landed in Seoul, North Korea at 5pm, Sunday July 8th.
Seoul: Will, Kenny, Mai (depart 8:30pm), couples in matching outfits
Phuket: arrive 1am (taxi haggling, dark-dank three-person bed)
Monday, July 9: Phuket, Chinese breakfast, hang around, food, Transformers, beer garden, AIDS discussion, bathroom massage
Tuesday, July 10: travel Phuket --> Surat Thani --> Ko samui --> Lamai (party that night: rainy beer, 12-year olds)
Wednesday, July 11: beach day, massage (icy-hot), crickets, corona commercial... food, tailor? (tailor fetching me on the beach)
Thursday, July 12: day trip to national park... dreadful sea-kayaking, stair-climb, rock/rope climb, photos on plates, ... leg rash, Harry Potter
Friday, July 13: anticipated departure, delayed departure, beach day
Saturday, July 14: boat to Ko Tao, bungaloo on the beach, settling in, really bad enchilada, hanging out that night
Sunday, July 15: Will robbed, morning reading, Scuba re-training, that night?
Monday, July 16: change hotels, early morning diving: two sites - shark island and twin peaks, genuine Thai curry, saying goodbye to Ryan and Betsy, night to party... first gay man. Buckets of Red Bull and vodka, fire twirlers, hit my head. (injury #1). Deep conversations.
Tuesday, July 17: chill-out day, "Fracture", reading, killing time, Kenny's sandals, night boat
Wednesday, July 18: -->Krabi ... tiger cave, 2km stair (1200), mangrove tour: bite from shark-like-fish, amazing cave, rubber glove, night market, hanging with Irish, O'Malley's ... goodbye to Will, Kenny, Mai
Thursday, July19: unreal rock climbing
Friday, July 20: sea-kayaking (take 2), fresh-water lake, playing cards with Irish
Saturday, July 21: Nate still drunk, packing up, haphazardly catch bus to Phuket (nicer bus), back to same guesthouse as before (room upgrade), Harry Potter (again), Lady-Boy show (lame), late night Denzel Washington.
Sunday, July 22: early morning Denzel, hanging around, souvenir shopping, man returns money, couples massage, run out of money, friendly cab driver, incredible night sky, Phuket airport 8:40pm (horrid airport) --> bangkok 10pm (amazing airport) pizza before getting on 1am flight to Seoul.
Monday, July 23: Seoul 8:45 am, noon to Chicago, arrive 11am... quick intake into US, switch to earlier flight, 1:15 to Minneapolis. fight with reporter. roommate picks me up. home. yeah.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"TITLE OF SONG" ARTIST,
ALBUM TITLE
Friday, July 6:
After an abbreviated work week (although I had bartended Tuesday) I went out for a couple drinks with co-workers on Friday and then made my way to the Minneapolis airport via lightrail and boarded my 7pm flight to Chicago. Funny enough, I bumped into a good friend (and law journal partner) from law school, Dave and his girlfriend. It was nice to have someone friendly to talk with, if for no other reason than to alleviate some of the pre-trip stress that inevitably sets in before a trans-continental voyage.
Once in Chicago, my oldest friend Pete and his new wife Jennalee (were fantastic and) picked me up at the airport. I had gotten a hotel room with the intention that the Guy was going to meet me out there for a night together, but that wasn't going to happen, and I became increasingly grateful for the time I got to spend with Pete and his wife. As I (perhaps drunkenly) pointed out later to Jennalee, I'm extremely glad that Pete married someone cool, who can hang out with us at Hooters (our now-traditional post-airport stop; also where Pete first introduced me to her) and let us still have our fun together without getting annoyed. I am still a little bit nervous about my friends getting married (more on another friend later) but at least with these two I'm growing more and more confident that they are really ready for each other for a lifetime.
Well, anyway, after Hooters and buying a t-shirt there (great for the irony, if nothing else), we went to another Roseville bar, where Pete and I had some fairly good conversations about things I can't really remember but seemed deep at the time. One thing for sure is that Pete has a little trouble understanding my job defending both the guilty and the innocent, and I feel like I finally made some headway there. We drank for quite a few hours together before we decided that it was finally time to get me to my hotel, and I hugged them both and snuggled into a big, comfortable, (if lonely) hotel bed.
Saturday, July 7:
Although I had tried to keep myself up late to pre-adjust to the 12-hour time change to come, I woke far too early due to nerves and ended up watching a Jennifer Lopez movie to pass the time. At that point, partially due to the sappy love story on the screen and partially because of my errant thoughts, my mind inevitably went to the Guy, and how much I wanted him with me. I hadn't heard from him as to why he no-showed, and really didn't want to hear the excuses: it was becoming more and more apparent that things simply aren't going to work out. I had come to the city where he was staying, rented a hotel room, and still nothing from him... While in the end he had a reasonably valid excuse, I started off this vacation thinking about how I needed to move on, and ended it having finally done so.
Eventually I boarded a hotel shuttle to the airport, getting a call in to my sister along the way, and then quickly found my check-in station. Because I had booked my ticket with my traveling companion Nate, I waited for him to come before checking in. In what felt like an excutiating period of time, I went through a couple of magazines and just watched time go by until I finally saw him coming up. His tardiness was not that extreme, nor was it a problem of any sort, but I had arrived early, and was already more than anxious about just getting my ass in the airplane seat. I became a little terse at the moment, and immediately wondered if this was going to be the start of a very painful 15 days traveling together. (It was not. In fact, quite the opposite).
Once we had checked our things, I bought a carton of cigarettes and we had McDonalds lunch, and got through security. Nate and I then walked around terminal to stretch our legs while we could, both walking the wrong-way down the moving walkways (always fun) and spotting a statute labeled "Male Sin" (which I promptly decided I needed to "get into"). We finally heard our flight called, got into line and were ready to go. At that point an elderly Asian, perhaps 5 feet tall, cut directly in front of me. My response: a mumbled "Honey, just because you are below my sight-line doesnt mean I can't see you..." She didn't hear me, and I let it go. Let's just get on the plane already!
Turns out Korean Air is absolutely splendid. Both Nate and I got aisle seats next to each other, and we spent most of the flight watching among the 25+ movies you could select on your personal tv-screen, playing video games, and tracking our flight. The food was pretty damn good too, and I was longing for those Korean Noodles on every flight thereafter. Also, they give you socks to wear. How can you beat that?
After an otherwise uneventful flight, we landed in Seoul, North Korea at 5pm, Sunday July 8th.
Seoul: Will, Kenny, Mai (depart 8:30pm), couples in matching outfits
Phuket: arrive 1am (taxi haggling, dark-dank three-person bed)
Monday, July 9: Phuket, Chinese breakfast, hang around, food, Transformers, beer garden, AIDS discussion, bathroom massage
Tuesday, July 10: travel Phuket --> Surat Thani --> Ko samui --> Lamai (party that night: rainy beer, 12-year olds)
Wednesday, July 11: beach day, massage (icy-hot), crickets, corona commercial... food, tailor? (tailor fetching me on the beach)
Thursday, July 12: day trip to national park... dreadful sea-kayaking, stair-climb, rock/rope climb, photos on plates, ... leg rash, Harry Potter
Friday, July 13: anticipated departure, delayed departure, beach day
Saturday, July 14: boat to Ko Tao, bungaloo on the beach, settling in, really bad enchilada, hanging out that night
Sunday, July 15: Will robbed, morning reading, Scuba re-training, that night?
Monday, July 16: change hotels, early morning diving: two sites - shark island and twin peaks, genuine Thai curry, saying goodbye to Ryan and Betsy, night to party... first gay man. Buckets of Red Bull and vodka, fire twirlers, hit my head. (injury #1). Deep conversations.
Tuesday, July 17: chill-out day, "Fracture", reading, killing time, Kenny's sandals, night boat
Wednesday, July 18: -->Krabi ... tiger cave, 2km stair (1200), mangrove tour: bite from shark-like-fish, amazing cave, rubber glove, night market, hanging with Irish, O'Malley's ... goodbye to Will, Kenny, Mai
Thursday, July19: unreal rock climbing
Friday, July 20: sea-kayaking (take 2), fresh-water lake, playing cards with Irish
Saturday, July 21: Nate still drunk, packing up, haphazardly catch bus to Phuket (nicer bus), back to same guesthouse as before (room upgrade), Harry Potter (again), Lady-Boy show (lame), late night Denzel Washington.
Sunday, July 22: early morning Denzel, hanging around, souvenir shopping, man returns money, couples massage, run out of money, friendly cab driver, incredible night sky, Phuket airport 8:40pm (horrid airport) --> bangkok 10pm (amazing airport) pizza before getting on 1am flight to Seoul.
Monday, July 23: Seoul 8:45 am, noon to Chicago, arrive 11am... quick intake into US, switch to earlier flight, 1:15 to Minneapolis. fight with reporter. roommate picks me up. home. yeah.
"TITLE OF SONG" ARTIST,
ALBUM TITLE
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Hello Again!
Well Hello!
It is once again 4:30 in the morning, and due to the time change from Thailand I am wide awake again. I havent been the best at forcing myself to readapt to the Central Time Zone. Which then results in me going to bed at 9pm and waking at 4am. Well, worse things have happened.
The trip was amazing, full of fantastic friends and phenomenal experiences. Over the next couple of days I will try my best to detail the trip in a separate posting, but for right now I will just comment that it was the perfect combination of relaxation, partying, culture and adventure. The photos from everyone else's cameras will be drifting in soon, so I'll be posting those too.
A lot of thought was put in during this trip about the Guy (the Nigerian, to clarify). Before I flew to Thailand, I had a one night layover in Chicago, where he is currently staying with relatives. I had hoped that we might be able to spend a romantic evening together, but the stars just didnt align, and we weren't able to make it happen. Before I had left I had been rather refusing to acknowledge that I was once again "single" (most markedly noted by my posting "It's Complicated" on my Facebook relationship section... I know... Lame.). But what I realized on this trip was that it is time to move on. It is time to give another whack at finding "the one." It's hard to give up on what we had, but it is time to do so. Maybe there's a future with Him, but until I know that I need to put myself out there again (and to my credit, since I have been home I have had one date and two hookups: Ive been home three nights; I didnt get any action in Thailand, so I came back a little... wound up). There were all sorts of situations in Thailand that I thought "It would be so nice if He were here." But he wasn't, and I suppose it is time to find someone who could be.
Now that I'm back, I feel like I have a million things to take care of, and it all seems a little overwhelming, especially coming from an atmosphere where I didn't have to do anything all day. Before I left I signed a 1Br apartment in my same building, and now have a little over a month before I need to pack up my shit and move. I also need to (once again) re-edit my Adoption Article to be resubmitted for publication. Im coming up on my third year of law school, so it is also time to start looking at potential employers around the country. Yipee! Add to that the simple fact that I have no groceries and need to get back into my work-out routine, and I'm feeling a bit behind.
Its funny. Before I left, a friend who had just returned from Vietnam told me, "Make sure you take mental time and energy to readjust to being back. Because you are not going to want to be." She specifically noted the depression that sets in after leaving such a paradise. And while I am always glad to be back on U.S. soil, she was damn right. I spent the first day not wanting to eat American food, not wanting to acknowledge that I had things to do, places to be. I came home and even felt poorer, not only because I have to face my credit card bills but more because I'm not spending the Bhat, which has a great exchange rate to U.S.
Im getting over all that... I have a great weekend to look forward to (Bikers with Big Hearts for Camp Heartland) and plenty of friends to keep me distracted. That's the stuff. Til I adjust, I guess I'll just keep waking up at 4am. Smile.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Black Balloon" Goo Goo Dolls,
Dizzy Up the Girl
It is once again 4:30 in the morning, and due to the time change from Thailand I am wide awake again. I havent been the best at forcing myself to readapt to the Central Time Zone. Which then results in me going to bed at 9pm and waking at 4am. Well, worse things have happened.
The trip was amazing, full of fantastic friends and phenomenal experiences. Over the next couple of days I will try my best to detail the trip in a separate posting, but for right now I will just comment that it was the perfect combination of relaxation, partying, culture and adventure. The photos from everyone else's cameras will be drifting in soon, so I'll be posting those too.
A lot of thought was put in during this trip about the Guy (the Nigerian, to clarify). Before I flew to Thailand, I had a one night layover in Chicago, where he is currently staying with relatives. I had hoped that we might be able to spend a romantic evening together, but the stars just didnt align, and we weren't able to make it happen. Before I had left I had been rather refusing to acknowledge that I was once again "single" (most markedly noted by my posting "It's Complicated" on my Facebook relationship section... I know... Lame.). But what I realized on this trip was that it is time to move on. It is time to give another whack at finding "the one." It's hard to give up on what we had, but it is time to do so. Maybe there's a future with Him, but until I know that I need to put myself out there again (and to my credit, since I have been home I have had one date and two hookups: Ive been home three nights; I didnt get any action in Thailand, so I came back a little... wound up). There were all sorts of situations in Thailand that I thought "It would be so nice if He were here." But he wasn't, and I suppose it is time to find someone who could be.
Now that I'm back, I feel like I have a million things to take care of, and it all seems a little overwhelming, especially coming from an atmosphere where I didn't have to do anything all day. Before I left I signed a 1Br apartment in my same building, and now have a little over a month before I need to pack up my shit and move. I also need to (once again) re-edit my Adoption Article to be resubmitted for publication. Im coming up on my third year of law school, so it is also time to start looking at potential employers around the country. Yipee! Add to that the simple fact that I have no groceries and need to get back into my work-out routine, and I'm feeling a bit behind.
Its funny. Before I left, a friend who had just returned from Vietnam told me, "Make sure you take mental time and energy to readjust to being back. Because you are not going to want to be." She specifically noted the depression that sets in after leaving such a paradise. And while I am always glad to be back on U.S. soil, she was damn right. I spent the first day not wanting to eat American food, not wanting to acknowledge that I had things to do, places to be. I came home and even felt poorer, not only because I have to face my credit card bills but more because I'm not spending the Bhat, which has a great exchange rate to U.S.
Im getting over all that... I have a great weekend to look forward to (Bikers with Big Hearts for Camp Heartland) and plenty of friends to keep me distracted. That's the stuff. Til I adjust, I guess I'll just keep waking up at 4am. Smile.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Black Balloon" Goo Goo Dolls,
Dizzy Up the Girl
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