Im not a huge Enrique Iglesias fan, but you have to give amazing esteem to any man who is this comfortable with his sexuality. This clip taken at G-A-Y Club in London (honestly one of the best dance clubs I've ever been to).
Thanks Towleroad
Showing posts with label Guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guys. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
What is it about having a Boyfriend?
Well, first of all, the Guy and I are back together. That happened about a week ago when we both put the little conflict we had had behind us. So we are back together. That is, until he moves out of the state/country/continent.
And I always wonder which came first... It seems like every time I find myself coupled up with someone, guys swarm like bees. Is it that I am more confident when I know I have someone to come home to? Perhaps. Is it that I'm not giving guys the "please sleep with me" look? Could be. I really don't see either of those things though.
Friday night, I got a "booty call" which I had to pleasantly reject. Last night, I had guys buying me drinks, was offered a job at the bar, and then at the end of the night when I was passed out on a friend's sleeper sofa after an after-bar bonfire, some guy tried to crawl into bed with me. All very flattering. But why doesn't this stuff happen when I'm single? Seriously, I can go through crazy "dry spells," and not have a gay man in the world look at me. Then I'm off the market and *poof* desirable. What's with that?
Maybe the lesson is that I need to forever operate as though I do have a boyfriend. Who knows.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Frozen Foods" Quietdrive,
Unknown Album
And I always wonder which came first... It seems like every time I find myself coupled up with someone, guys swarm like bees. Is it that I am more confident when I know I have someone to come home to? Perhaps. Is it that I'm not giving guys the "please sleep with me" look? Could be. I really don't see either of those things though.
Friday night, I got a "booty call" which I had to pleasantly reject. Last night, I had guys buying me drinks, was offered a job at the bar, and then at the end of the night when I was passed out on a friend's sleeper sofa after an after-bar bonfire, some guy tried to crawl into bed with me. All very flattering. But why doesn't this stuff happen when I'm single? Seriously, I can go through crazy "dry spells," and not have a gay man in the world look at me. Then I'm off the market and *poof* desirable. What's with that?
Maybe the lesson is that I need to forever operate as though I do have a boyfriend. Who knows.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Frozen Foods" Quietdrive,
Unknown Album
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Dancing Heartbroken
I promised myself that I would stay for two drinks.
I hate that bar.
Of course, before I could even get my first beer, I saw the Guy. He had talked a few nights ago, and settled everything out. So now... now. Now it was just pure desire to be back in each other's arms. And he held me. Held me in those arms that are like big ol tree trunks. And I just wanted to give in.
We had both had enough to drink to make it excusable. I had been at a Margarita party, and tequila notoriously makes me do naughty things. But tonight I couldn't be that naughty. I just couldn't. It had been hard enough, without adding this. If I took him home, we would be amazing once again, but disastrous in the end.
Since we broke up, I have engrossed myself in every possible distraction. But there I stood, no distractions available, just him and I, and he pulled me close. I resisted. I didn't want to. I kissed him. I didn't want to. But how I wanted to.
He's leaving in less than a month. Got to keep that in my head.
Down boy.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"All Wrong" Down the Line,
Welcome to Flavortown
I hate that bar.
Of course, before I could even get my first beer, I saw the Guy. He had talked a few nights ago, and settled everything out. So now... now. Now it was just pure desire to be back in each other's arms. And he held me. Held me in those arms that are like big ol tree trunks. And I just wanted to give in.
We had both had enough to drink to make it excusable. I had been at a Margarita party, and tequila notoriously makes me do naughty things. But tonight I couldn't be that naughty. I just couldn't. It had been hard enough, without adding this. If I took him home, we would be amazing once again, but disastrous in the end.
Since we broke up, I have engrossed myself in every possible distraction. But there I stood, no distractions available, just him and I, and he pulled me close. I resisted. I didn't want to. I kissed him. I didn't want to. But how I wanted to.
He's leaving in less than a month. Got to keep that in my head.
Down boy.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"All Wrong" Down the Line,
Welcome to Flavortown
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Name the Quote
"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides...you have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and ... can we just skip it? Can you... can you just be kissing me now?"
Sunday, May 06, 2007
2:30 am resolve, 11:30 pm uncertainty
Tomorrow I go back to work, and so should be blogging on a more consistent basis, given the desk-job nature of the work. I'm seriously giddy to return to work, but that is not quite what is keeping me awake.
The Guy IMed me today, telling me that he had read my last post, and created one of his own. He asked me to read it and get back to him. I wrote back that I appreciated the gesture, but if he wanted to say something, he is going to have to talk to me directly. While I didn't read it, I had my roommate look it over, just to a) find out if there was anything I needed to worry about and b) more importantly let me know if there was anything there that was worth responding to, as in an overt "Im sorry I pushed you away," or something. She said it was tasteful and yet not worth reading since it wasn't written to me. For your edification. (I have yet to read it, so if it is poor judgment to leave this link up, let me know.)
He came by my apartment this morning at 2:30am, and wanted to rehash everything. There has been such a strong part of me that has wanted to just get past all this BS and have him back, and having him in my apartment as I was tired and tipsy, I just wanted to pull him to me: let this be over. And yet, he was asking me to compromise myself with an unfelt apology, to say words that I did not mean, to fake emotion that I would not. So much of who I am is tied to my honesty, brutal as it may be at times. To have someone I care about very deeply ask me to change that part of me for him was not only painful but difficult for me. I stood there, longing to have him back with me, and thought, "It would be so very easy to just say the words." But I knew that I would regret it, and resent both him and myself for saying them. The whole relationship would become a farce.
There was a point were I may have pushed things too far. I told him that if we could not resolve this, Im through. I don't deal with drama well, and I had then spent the better part of two evenings on tending to the hurt feelings of someone who didn't like it when I raised my voice to assert myself. I asked him for my key back. Not to end the relationship, but because I felt like it was already ended. He was closed off to me because of this interaction, and I wasn't about to let the whole thing go on much longer. Maybe I should have. I have a history of ending things too peremptorily.
And now, after hashing it out with two best friends, my father, his friend, I am still not sure where I am with this. I have a couple of options. 1) Try to continue to open an adult dialogue, even if I keep hitting walls with this or 2) forget about this and go to work tomorrow, concentrate on all the awesome things in my life and try to forget how I lost another fantastic man who cared for me and treated me like no one else has up to this point in my young life.
As torturous as it may be, I think I'm gonna try option 1, even if just for a few more days.
The Guy IMed me today, telling me that he had read my last post, and created one of his own. He asked me to read it and get back to him. I wrote back that I appreciated the gesture, but if he wanted to say something, he is going to have to talk to me directly. While I didn't read it, I had my roommate look it over, just to a) find out if there was anything I needed to worry about and b) more importantly let me know if there was anything there that was worth responding to, as in an overt "Im sorry I pushed you away," or something. She said it was tasteful and yet not worth reading since it wasn't written to me. For your edification. (I have yet to read it, so if it is poor judgment to leave this link up, let me know.)
He came by my apartment this morning at 2:30am, and wanted to rehash everything. There has been such a strong part of me that has wanted to just get past all this BS and have him back, and having him in my apartment as I was tired and tipsy, I just wanted to pull him to me: let this be over. And yet, he was asking me to compromise myself with an unfelt apology, to say words that I did not mean, to fake emotion that I would not. So much of who I am is tied to my honesty, brutal as it may be at times. To have someone I care about very deeply ask me to change that part of me for him was not only painful but difficult for me. I stood there, longing to have him back with me, and thought, "It would be so very easy to just say the words." But I knew that I would regret it, and resent both him and myself for saying them. The whole relationship would become a farce.
There was a point were I may have pushed things too far. I told him that if we could not resolve this, Im through. I don't deal with drama well, and I had then spent the better part of two evenings on tending to the hurt feelings of someone who didn't like it when I raised my voice to assert myself. I asked him for my key back. Not to end the relationship, but because I felt like it was already ended. He was closed off to me because of this interaction, and I wasn't about to let the whole thing go on much longer. Maybe I should have. I have a history of ending things too peremptorily.
And now, after hashing it out with two best friends, my father, his friend, I am still not sure where I am with this. I have a couple of options. 1) Try to continue to open an adult dialogue, even if I keep hitting walls with this or 2) forget about this and go to work tomorrow, concentrate on all the awesome things in my life and try to forget how I lost another fantastic man who cared for me and treated me like no one else has up to this point in my young life.
As torturous as it may be, I think I'm gonna try option 1, even if just for a few more days.
It was going to end anyway
I just got off the phone with the man I had made my boyfriend, the man I had been dating for about 4 months (note the 4 month period, that is of some significance). The phone call had ended with a loud "Fuck You" from me, and me hanging up on him.
Last night he got mad at me for "raising my voice to him." Nevermind that we were at a bar. Nevermind that he had been ignoring me and asking me to do something that I was uncomfortable with. I had raised my voice.
After he proceeded to pout for the rest of the night, and then ignore me all day today, I finally got in touch with him and asked what was up. He was still angry that I wouldnt apologize for "raising my voice." I told him not to hold his breathe, and that such an apology would never happen. He had been pressuring me to do something I was uncomfortable with, and I'm not one of those people that let's that shit fly.
Later this evening, after even more discussion, he still wanted an apology, and refused to let it go. Long story short, I told him to quit with his superiority complex and let it go. I also made it clear that this was not the sort of drama I want in my life. "Well, you're a smart guy, I'm sure that you can figure out how to solve this," he said. "Cut the bullshit. I don't want to play these games," I said, "tell me what you want, or Im out."
"Out of what?" he said.
"Out of everything," I responded, indicating the best relationship (physical and otherwise) that I have been in in years. "I have no interest in continuing these games."
So... the conversation ended poorly. Im kinda not cool about the whole thing. The only thing that is keeping me from hyperventilating is the knowledge that, one way or another, the relationship was going to end this May when he left the state. There were no two ways around that one. And maybe, just maybe, ending it this way is the easiest way of all: swift and harsh rather than long and belingering pain. Still isn't much fun though.
Last night he got mad at me for "raising my voice to him." Nevermind that we were at a bar. Nevermind that he had been ignoring me and asking me to do something that I was uncomfortable with. I had raised my voice.
After he proceeded to pout for the rest of the night, and then ignore me all day today, I finally got in touch with him and asked what was up. He was still angry that I wouldnt apologize for "raising my voice." I told him not to hold his breathe, and that such an apology would never happen. He had been pressuring me to do something I was uncomfortable with, and I'm not one of those people that let's that shit fly.
Later this evening, after even more discussion, he still wanted an apology, and refused to let it go. Long story short, I told him to quit with his superiority complex and let it go. I also made it clear that this was not the sort of drama I want in my life. "Well, you're a smart guy, I'm sure that you can figure out how to solve this," he said. "Cut the bullshit. I don't want to play these games," I said, "tell me what you want, or Im out."
"Out of what?" he said.
"Out of everything," I responded, indicating the best relationship (physical and otherwise) that I have been in in years. "I have no interest in continuing these games."
So... the conversation ended poorly. Im kinda not cool about the whole thing. The only thing that is keeping me from hyperventilating is the knowledge that, one way or another, the relationship was going to end this May when he left the state. There were no two ways around that one. And maybe, just maybe, ending it this way is the easiest way of all: swift and harsh rather than long and belingering pain. Still isn't much fun though.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I will break my way out when it rains
So it seems that once again I have let it happen. I’m not sure exactly what it is about me that attracts me to these situations, but it is definitely something that I need to look into.
While I haven’t been posting, I have been working my ass off at the Legal Clinic, having varied and wonderful adventures in the Family Law system. I have also been dating someone. We have left it gloriously undefined, although I guess it is fair to say we aren’t sleeping with anyone else at the moment… He’s positively the sweetest guy I’ve ever dated. Kinda one of those “care-taker” guys, but without being overbearing or invasive. We started dating late February with the most phenomenal first date ever, so it’s fair to say that we haven’t been seeing each other long. But true-to-form, about two months in, Im starting to feel for him.
He happens to be Nigerian. He’s here on a student VISA, and had planned to stay in the country getting his education after he left the local college where he currently works. He and I have both known that he would be moving away as soon as the end of April. That is, the end of this month. There was something about knowing that going into things that made we hold onto the hope that 1) if things went poorly, he’d be gone soon enough and I wouldn’t have to deal with any residual ugliness and 2) if it went well, he’d only be a couple of states away and we could play that by ear.
Well, he told me tonight that he found out last night that the US Immigration Services would not be granting him a work VISA to stay here next year. He will either be returning to Nigeria permanently or studying in Europe next year.
Anyone who has known me for 10 minutes knows that I like to fix things. For Clients. For Friends. For Family. And definitely for those I’m dating. But there is simply no fixing this. The US Immigration service is an absolute bureaucracy that is absolutely inescapable. I had already been allowing myself to have those, “What if:” future thoughts about our relationship in which I realized that even if this person was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (and Im not saying he is) that because I can’t get legally married to him in the United States (thanks to Clinton and DOMA) I could never get him citizenship here based on our relationship. I have often felt like the gay-marriage issue was unfair, but never quite so much as the feeling that in order to pursue a long-term relationship with this guy we would have to a) have him come up with some convoluted and involved reason for permanent immigration to the US or b) we move to Nigeria and find ourselves quickly stoned to death for our relationship.
I don’t like those options.
So. Now I find myself in a relationship which I very much like, with an expiration date. I don’t quite know how to deal with that. I slowly find this guy becoming a wonderful addition to my life, and I have to deal with the fact that it will soon be subtracted.
While I haven’t been posting, I have been working my ass off at the Legal Clinic, having varied and wonderful adventures in the Family Law system. I have also been dating someone. We have left it gloriously undefined, although I guess it is fair to say we aren’t sleeping with anyone else at the moment… He’s positively the sweetest guy I’ve ever dated. Kinda one of those “care-taker” guys, but without being overbearing or invasive. We started dating late February with the most phenomenal first date ever, so it’s fair to say that we haven’t been seeing each other long. But true-to-form, about two months in, Im starting to feel for him.
He happens to be Nigerian. He’s here on a student VISA, and had planned to stay in the country getting his education after he left the local college where he currently works. He and I have both known that he would be moving away as soon as the end of April. That is, the end of this month. There was something about knowing that going into things that made we hold onto the hope that 1) if things went poorly, he’d be gone soon enough and I wouldn’t have to deal with any residual ugliness and 2) if it went well, he’d only be a couple of states away and we could play that by ear.
Well, he told me tonight that he found out last night that the US Immigration Services would not be granting him a work VISA to stay here next year. He will either be returning to Nigeria permanently or studying in Europe next year.
Anyone who has known me for 10 minutes knows that I like to fix things. For Clients. For Friends. For Family. And definitely for those I’m dating. But there is simply no fixing this. The US Immigration service is an absolute bureaucracy that is absolutely inescapable. I had already been allowing myself to have those, “What if:” future thoughts about our relationship in which I realized that even if this person was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (and Im not saying he is) that because I can’t get legally married to him in the United States (thanks to Clinton and DOMA) I could never get him citizenship here based on our relationship. I have often felt like the gay-marriage issue was unfair, but never quite so much as the feeling that in order to pursue a long-term relationship with this guy we would have to a) have him come up with some convoluted and involved reason for permanent immigration to the US or b) we move to Nigeria and find ourselves quickly stoned to death for our relationship.
I don’t like those options.
So. Now I find myself in a relationship which I very much like, with an expiration date. I don’t quite know how to deal with that. I slowly find this guy becoming a wonderful addition to my life, and I have to deal with the fact that it will soon be subtracted.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Dancing Christian, Dancing Buddhist, Dancing Queens
Haven't posted in a while. Nothing too exciting going on, except at my legal clinic. And everything I deal with there is confidential. Not like, "Oooohhh... this is gonna piss-a-bitch off," but more like "Ooops, I can't become a lawyer anymore" confidential. So.
I went to our Law Prom this last weekend. I was kinda dreading it really, and only went because I am on the team of people that helps plan these events. I thought my date was being reticent about the whole thing, and I was kinda forced by default to hang out with a group I had barely even talked to in a while.
Well, I had a freaking blast. The folks I hung out with are great people, and I was reminded why I loved hanging out with them so much last year. And my date... he was charming, sexy, didn't mind meeting a million law school folks, and we had a blast getting down on the dance floor.
On that point, I give my school great credit. Attending a Catholic law school in the Midwest, I have had to put up with my fair share of crap as a gay man at the school. If I had to make my decision to attend here again, I would heavily reconsider. But at this dance... it was almost utopian. Nobody seemed to give a crap that I was dancing up on a hot guy, or that he was dancing right back up on me. After thinking about the whole thing in the fog of hangover the next morning, I realized that in the 7 years that I have been out and in education, I have never once brought a guy to a school dance. In fact, I can hardly think of an official social function where I have brought a true "date." Admittedly, most of that is the fact that I have been perpetually single for most of my life, but that only made the experience more fun: I had someone to bring to this dance, and then everyone was amazing about it.
And speaking of amazing, the guy I brought is, well, quite something. He's Buddhist (like a for-real practicing Buddhist) which gives him far more depth than most of the other guys I have met in a really long time. Witty, fun, and a great kisser on top of all that. There are moments when I looked at him on Saturday and just felt very lucky to have him with me.
I had met the Buddhist a few weeks back at a party on an idle Friday night. I had found myself at a party with a bunch of people who shouldn't have been drinking, and was kinda in a mood about that, cause that is really not a good situation for me to be put in. I was a bit salty for much of the evening, and finally I had this guy call me out for being a giant dose of negative energy. I went to mentally tackle this interloper on my negative streak when I realized that the guy was totally right. And he was cute. We ended up talking for a while, but when my friends made to leave I oddly told this guy, the Buddhist, that, "Hey, I look forward to bumping into you again." No numbers exchanged, just left it up to fate.
The next morning I woke up and wanted to slam my head against a wall for that decision.
Later that night (this is Saturday now), I was riding around in a limo for a friend's birthday. We were having a blast and ended up at one of the gay bars I never go to (seriously, this was my second time there). And who do I bump into? The Buddhist.
We started dancing there, and may have made out a little bit on the dance floor (I am indeed a classy guy). Needless to say, numbers were exchanged that night.
Sooo... After the dance this last weekend, I officially like this one. I know that in my last posts I have talked about the wonder of being single, and I am pretty sure that it will take someone pretty amazing to make me want to give that up anytime soon. The Buddhist just might be amazing.
Of course now that I have opened myself up to that possibility, the nervous part of me starts to react, and wonder whether "He's just [that] into me." Well, he's given me some interesting indications that he is taking this thing rather seriously (pulled me aside on the dance floor to let me know that he's not interested in children, responding to my idle expression of interest in a family one of the first times we met. My reaction? "I'm pretty sure we are still on our second date.") (feeling that he needed to express to me that he is still seeing other guys). It sounds as if we are still on the same page as far as interest in each other and interest in pursuing the "relationship thing."
Which is good. Very good.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Easy" Barenaked Ladies,
Barenaked Ladies Are Me
I went to our Law Prom this last weekend. I was kinda dreading it really, and only went because I am on the team of people that helps plan these events. I thought my date was being reticent about the whole thing, and I was kinda forced by default to hang out with a group I had barely even talked to in a while.
Well, I had a freaking blast. The folks I hung out with are great people, and I was reminded why I loved hanging out with them so much last year. And my date... he was charming, sexy, didn't mind meeting a million law school folks, and we had a blast getting down on the dance floor.
On that point, I give my school great credit. Attending a Catholic law school in the Midwest, I have had to put up with my fair share of crap as a gay man at the school. If I had to make my decision to attend here again, I would heavily reconsider. But at this dance... it was almost utopian. Nobody seemed to give a crap that I was dancing up on a hot guy, or that he was dancing right back up on me. After thinking about the whole thing in the fog of hangover the next morning, I realized that in the 7 years that I have been out and in education, I have never once brought a guy to a school dance. In fact, I can hardly think of an official social function where I have brought a true "date." Admittedly, most of that is the fact that I have been perpetually single for most of my life, but that only made the experience more fun: I had someone to bring to this dance, and then everyone was amazing about it.
And speaking of amazing, the guy I brought is, well, quite something. He's Buddhist (like a for-real practicing Buddhist) which gives him far more depth than most of the other guys I have met in a really long time. Witty, fun, and a great kisser on top of all that. There are moments when I looked at him on Saturday and just felt very lucky to have him with me.
I had met the Buddhist a few weeks back at a party on an idle Friday night. I had found myself at a party with a bunch of people who shouldn't have been drinking, and was kinda in a mood about that, cause that is really not a good situation for me to be put in. I was a bit salty for much of the evening, and finally I had this guy call me out for being a giant dose of negative energy. I went to mentally tackle this interloper on my negative streak when I realized that the guy was totally right. And he was cute. We ended up talking for a while, but when my friends made to leave I oddly told this guy, the Buddhist, that, "Hey, I look forward to bumping into you again." No numbers exchanged, just left it up to fate.
The next morning I woke up and wanted to slam my head against a wall for that decision.
Later that night (this is Saturday now), I was riding around in a limo for a friend's birthday. We were having a blast and ended up at one of the gay bars I never go to (seriously, this was my second time there). And who do I bump into? The Buddhist.
We started dancing there, and may have made out a little bit on the dance floor (I am indeed a classy guy). Needless to say, numbers were exchanged that night.
Sooo... After the dance this last weekend, I officially like this one. I know that in my last posts I have talked about the wonder of being single, and I am pretty sure that it will take someone pretty amazing to make me want to give that up anytime soon. The Buddhist just might be amazing.
Of course now that I have opened myself up to that possibility, the nervous part of me starts to react, and wonder whether "He's just [that] into me." Well, he's given me some interesting indications that he is taking this thing rather seriously (pulled me aside on the dance floor to let me know that he's not interested in children, responding to my idle expression of interest in a family one of the first times we met. My reaction? "I'm pretty sure we are still on our second date.") (feeling that he needed to express to me that he is still seeing other guys). It sounds as if we are still on the same page as far as interest in each other and interest in pursuing the "relationship thing."
Which is good. Very good.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Easy" Barenaked Ladies,
Barenaked Ladies Are Me
Sunday, January 28, 2007
City Mouse and Country Mouse
We got to the Cowboy Auction at 5pm. My roommate, in all her glory, was pimping me out for yet another event for her nonprofit. As she works for a truly admirable cause, I'm always happy to play along, and have had some truly cool experiences through her.
Well, I was on the Auction Block, and was a little nervous about it. I had slept fitfully the night before (although oddly for that uneasy sleep lasted for about 14 hours). I had had a very odd "stress-dream" about the whole thing. I'd describe it if I could. I had also not had a chance to eat much that day, so I was starved by the time we got to the auction. I grabbed a free bowl of chili and started taking on the Beer Bust. I figured I needed something to help the nerves. And it did. (if you havent figured it out yet, the lack of good sleep, the not eating and the quick drinking added up to some questionable decisions... questionable but fun...)
I made a concerted effort to introduce myself to the other cowpolk, as I was one of the only outsiders being auctioned off. Along the way I met a gentleman who was, well, quite taken with me. Well, I continued to make my rounds, and met some genuinely nice people. After about two hours of drinking, the auction was good to start. I was third up, and I watched as the first two candidates got only moderate attention standing on a low-stage tucked into the corner of the bar. Well, nobody puts Baby in the Corner. When my time came around, I jumped right up on the bar in the center of everything.
With the first two Auctionees, the Caller started with bids of about $25. Much to my surprise, as soon as I jumped up on the bar, she started at $200!!! Well, after a short bout of bidding, I was up to $350. Which turned out to be the second highest amount of the evening. (and I must say I was proud to hit that while maintaining my dignity... no nipple-clamps, ball-gag, kilt or stripping for me... I got that money through charm and style) (don't burst my bubble... let me think that for a while).
Well, the night was a blast, and I ended up a) accidentally winning another "Cowboy" for $125; b) getting into a fight with a guy who kept grabbing my ass, and then the guy who threatened to kick me out for standing up for myself (Hi. Drama. This is Christian. Why don't you two hang out for a while?); c) going to White Castle with my roommate, a drag queen, and a pig farmer; d) going home with said pig farmer; e) all of the above.
Lest anyone get the wrong impression, I had a really good time with the Pig Farmer. In fact it wasn't until the next morning when I awoke in a trailer park and he was pillow-talking about fertilizing sows that I realized just what a cultural juxtaposition I had drunkenly stumbled into. These guys (the drag queen, his partner, and the farmer) were such absolutely wonderful guys, but truly cut from a different cloth of life. It was quite fun hanging out with them and getting a little taste of a whole other culture.
So I count Saturday night as a success: I went home with one Cowboy, was "bought" for a date with another, and "bought" my own date for a third. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"This River is Wild" The Killers,
Sam's Town
Well, I was on the Auction Block, and was a little nervous about it. I had slept fitfully the night before (although oddly for that uneasy sleep lasted for about 14 hours). I had had a very odd "stress-dream" about the whole thing. I'd describe it if I could. I had also not had a chance to eat much that day, so I was starved by the time we got to the auction. I grabbed a free bowl of chili and started taking on the Beer Bust. I figured I needed something to help the nerves. And it did. (if you havent figured it out yet, the lack of good sleep, the not eating and the quick drinking added up to some questionable decisions... questionable but fun...)
I made a concerted effort to introduce myself to the other cowpolk, as I was one of the only outsiders being auctioned off. Along the way I met a gentleman who was, well, quite taken with me. Well, I continued to make my rounds, and met some genuinely nice people. After about two hours of drinking, the auction was good to start. I was third up, and I watched as the first two candidates got only moderate attention standing on a low-stage tucked into the corner of the bar. Well, nobody puts Baby in the Corner. When my time came around, I jumped right up on the bar in the center of everything.
With the first two Auctionees, the Caller started with bids of about $25. Much to my surprise, as soon as I jumped up on the bar, she started at $200!!! Well, after a short bout of bidding, I was up to $350. Which turned out to be the second highest amount of the evening. (and I must say I was proud to hit that while maintaining my dignity... no nipple-clamps, ball-gag, kilt or stripping for me... I got that money through charm and style) (don't burst my bubble... let me think that for a while).
Well, the night was a blast, and I ended up a) accidentally winning another "Cowboy" for $125; b) getting into a fight with a guy who kept grabbing my ass, and then the guy who threatened to kick me out for standing up for myself (Hi. Drama. This is Christian. Why don't you two hang out for a while?); c) going to White Castle with my roommate, a drag queen, and a pig farmer; d) going home with said pig farmer; e) all of the above.
Lest anyone get the wrong impression, I had a really good time with the Pig Farmer. In fact it wasn't until the next morning when I awoke in a trailer park and he was pillow-talking about fertilizing sows that I realized just what a cultural juxtaposition I had drunkenly stumbled into. These guys (the drag queen, his partner, and the farmer) were such absolutely wonderful guys, but truly cut from a different cloth of life. It was quite fun hanging out with them and getting a little taste of a whole other culture.
So I count Saturday night as a success: I went home with one Cowboy, was "bought" for a date with another, and "bought" my own date for a third. Not bad. Not bad at all.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"This River is Wild" The Killers,
Sam's Town
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Any suggestions?
Just got home from judging Moot Trial competitions for undergraduate students. Actually quite a fun way to spend the day. I got to dish out some of what I have been taking for the last couple of years (don't worry, I was comparably gentle, even when I practically announced a mistrial this afternoon when one side took a few liberties during closing arguments). Good stuff. (Im such a law geek.)
I went on my first date in ages last night. Pretty cool actually. Regardless of the fact that this guy was pretty damn cool, I simply havent had a real, honest to God date in a really long time. We went to a nice dinner, a good movie, and parted ways. Wow. Comfortable and cordial, and we were sober and everything! Getting to know this guy seems like it's going to be fun.
Im refusing to be "that guy" and so my only thought on it at this point is this: my major social scenes and fun for the past year and a half in law school has been at the bars. Happy Hours with friends, Bar Review with school people, parties to celebrate different things (tonight and tomorrow). I enjoy my social life, and am rather proud that I have been able to sustain what I have this last year or so. But we're not big on the sober activities.
And this guy is.
So my query is this: what non-alcoholic activities does one do in the middle of a frigid winter to have fun and get to know a guy? Bowling comes to mind, but I'd like to reserve the REALLY lame until they are necessary. Any suggestions?
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Give and Take" Kina,
Kina
I went on my first date in ages last night. Pretty cool actually. Regardless of the fact that this guy was pretty damn cool, I simply havent had a real, honest to God date in a really long time. We went to a nice dinner, a good movie, and parted ways. Wow. Comfortable and cordial, and we were sober and everything! Getting to know this guy seems like it's going to be fun.
Im refusing to be "that guy" and so my only thought on it at this point is this: my major social scenes and fun for the past year and a half in law school has been at the bars. Happy Hours with friends, Bar Review with school people, parties to celebrate different things (tonight and tomorrow). I enjoy my social life, and am rather proud that I have been able to sustain what I have this last year or so. But we're not big on the sober activities.
And this guy is.
So my query is this: what non-alcoholic activities does one do in the middle of a frigid winter to have fun and get to know a guy? Bowling comes to mind, but I'd like to reserve the REALLY lame until they are necessary. Any suggestions?
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Give and Take" Kina,
Kina
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Losing my Flirt
I realized the other day that I have lost my "flirt."
Perhaps it is that I live in an academic and work world where it is not okay to "put yourself out there" and take risks that could damage your reputation. Perhaps I spent so much time flirting from behind the safety of a bar that I can no longer survive without that safety net. Perhaps I just need to grow a pair.
For whatever reason, I no longer seem to be able to approach men. This has been crimping my style for quite a while. I dont want to seem lame, I dont want to get shot down, I dont want to be seen as "that guy," so instead I am not seen at all. Guys continue to pressume that I am straight/taken/intimidating and I miss a hell of a lot of opportunities.
My friend Peter in Chicago tried to teach me some of his style last time I visited him. Its the "Im fucking Christian!" mentality. I guess the idea didnt take. The other night at the fundraiser (see previous post) I struck up a conversation with an extremely attractive eligible bachelor. We actually talked about our inabilities to approach men. And it would have taken just a little bit of guts to say, "Hey, would you be interested in going for dinner sometime." And yet I let him walk away without following through with the encounter.
I found out the next day that later that night he had scheduled a date with another guy.
Then after I was finished rushing around the city today with an incredible red-wine-hangover, I got onto a bus toward home to pack and catch my flight home. I get on the bus, and see this guy with beautiful eyes sitting a bit ahead of me. I can see his eyes because he keeps turning and casually looking at me. At one point our eyes catch and we have "Eye Sex" for about 10 seconds before I looked away. Then I got up to get off, and he got up and stood with his back to me, milimeters away from me. He got off at the stop before mine. I should have gotten off with him, walked the extra block, asked him if he lived around here. Asked him his name. Generally struck up a conversation. Damnit.
My internet bf (dont ask) was telling me about how he hit on his waiter and ended up having great sex as a result. Im less jealous of the sex than his ability to strike up interest from a perfect stranger.
I think if I have a New Year's Resolution it is this: Take the Friggin Risk! It has become apparent to me that the coy thing isn't working out for me, and it is time to let go of some of the safety of hiding behind my ego and seeming above it all. It's not working. It's time to flirt.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"You Still Touch Me" Sting,
Mercury Falling
Perhaps it is that I live in an academic and work world where it is not okay to "put yourself out there" and take risks that could damage your reputation. Perhaps I spent so much time flirting from behind the safety of a bar that I can no longer survive without that safety net. Perhaps I just need to grow a pair.
For whatever reason, I no longer seem to be able to approach men. This has been crimping my style for quite a while. I dont want to seem lame, I dont want to get shot down, I dont want to be seen as "that guy," so instead I am not seen at all. Guys continue to pressume that I am straight/taken/intimidating and I miss a hell of a lot of opportunities.
My friend Peter in Chicago tried to teach me some of his style last time I visited him. Its the "Im fucking Christian!" mentality. I guess the idea didnt take. The other night at the fundraiser (see previous post) I struck up a conversation with an extremely attractive eligible bachelor. We actually talked about our inabilities to approach men. And it would have taken just a little bit of guts to say, "Hey, would you be interested in going for dinner sometime." And yet I let him walk away without following through with the encounter.
I found out the next day that later that night he had scheduled a date with another guy.
Then after I was finished rushing around the city today with an incredible red-wine-hangover, I got onto a bus toward home to pack and catch my flight home. I get on the bus, and see this guy with beautiful eyes sitting a bit ahead of me. I can see his eyes because he keeps turning and casually looking at me. At one point our eyes catch and we have "Eye Sex" for about 10 seconds before I looked away. Then I got up to get off, and he got up and stood with his back to me, milimeters away from me. He got off at the stop before mine. I should have gotten off with him, walked the extra block, asked him if he lived around here. Asked him his name. Generally struck up a conversation. Damnit.
My internet bf (dont ask) was telling me about how he hit on his waiter and ended up having great sex as a result. Im less jealous of the sex than his ability to strike up interest from a perfect stranger.
I think if I have a New Year's Resolution it is this: Take the Friggin Risk! It has become apparent to me that the coy thing isn't working out for me, and it is time to let go of some of the safety of hiding behind my ego and seeming above it all. It's not working. It's time to flirt.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"You Still Touch Me" Sting,
Mercury Falling
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Best Morning Ever...
Life is full of those little pleasures.
I didn't quite get 4 hours of sleep last night, but I am walking on air because my Appellate Brief is completely done: about 36 hours ahead of schedule. Wow. That's some crazy shit. Very much unlike me. It feels great though. Wow.
Plus, I woke up to my new favorite crush: Brian Faas.
Before I sound all stalkerish, I have been watching this guy for about 6 months on the VH1 Video Podcast of "Best Night Ever." The podcast rotates the comedians it uses to mock the previous night's television, and Brian is by far my favorite. Not only is he super cute, but he is downright hilarious. (mental note: does he look a little like (Mitchell)?)He's got this corny thing actually working for him, and it keeps me smiling on my trek to work. "Details magazine isn't for gay people... It's for douchebags!" People wonder why I am giggling on my bus ride to work.
I figure, well, I'm attracted to him, so he's obviously got to be straight.
Then I get to work and Google Mr. Faas to find a picture for this post, and discover he has a MySpace page... And I quickly discovered that my intuition was wrong. SEE! I CAN be attracted to gay people! Told you so! And NOW WE'RE FRIENDS!!! LIKE FOR REAL!!! God bless Myspace, and God bless Google.
It's gonna be a good day.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Paul McCartney" Scissor Sisters,
Ta-Dah!
I didn't quite get 4 hours of sleep last night, but I am walking on air because my Appellate Brief is completely done: about 36 hours ahead of schedule. Wow. That's some crazy shit. Very much unlike me. It feels great though. Wow.
Plus, I woke up to my new favorite crush: Brian Faas.
Before I sound all stalkerish, I have been watching this guy for about 6 months on the VH1 Video Podcast of "Best Night Ever." The podcast rotates the comedians it uses to mock the previous night's television, and Brian is by far my favorite. Not only is he super cute, but he is downright hilarious. (mental note: does he look a little like (Mitchell)?)He's got this corny thing actually working for him, and it keeps me smiling on my trek to work. "Details magazine isn't for gay people... It's for douchebags!" People wonder why I am giggling on my bus ride to work.
I figure, well, I'm attracted to him, so he's obviously got to be straight.
Then I get to work and Google Mr. Faas to find a picture for this post, and discover he has a MySpace page... And I quickly discovered that my intuition was wrong. SEE! I CAN be attracted to gay people! Told you so! And NOW WE'RE FRIENDS!!! LIKE FOR REAL!!! God bless Myspace, and God bless Google.
It's gonna be a good day.
Musical Fodder for my Writing:"Paul McCartney" Scissor Sisters,
Ta-Dah!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
My First and Favorite Crush is Single
We all have "the list," right? The list of people who you would breakup with even your most serious relationship to be with. I think you know what I mean.
Danny Roberts was the first one on my list. And I think he will always be there.
When Danny was on Real World: New Orleans, he was one of the first positive gay role models that I saw on television. Take that back: he was THE first. At the time, I was living in Venezuela, largely pushed back into the closet by the machismo culture there, and had little to no exposurer to gay life at the time. Like many others in the closet, I was starting to regress into thinking that maybe "they" were right, and I was wrong. Maybe being gay WAS a bad thing.
Then I saw Danny. Weekly, I would see him having fun, being healthy, and having a solid loving and compassionate relationship. I remember many nights tearing up over the scenes of him, knowing that back home I would find a community, find a man, or even just find myself. The image that he presented, and MTV gets some major credit for this, gave me hope.
Part of the whole thing was that Danny was dating Paul, an Army Ranger whose face had to be consistently covered up to avoid being kicked out of our armed forces. If there was ever an argument against "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," it is Paul.
Well, at first today, I was gleeful at the thought that lovable, adorable, funny Danny is single. Hope lives on for my crush. Then I saw the video I have posted below, and it made me remember how special I felt their relationship was. Sad that it's over. There was truly love there.
God bless them both for being positive role models when there were none. If only we all had that strength.
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