I'm a Mac guy now

I'm not going to promise that this decision wasn't a direct result of their brilliant marketing and the "I'm a Mac" ads. Although I have been a PC and Windows user since I was 12 (longer than almost anyone else I know), I'm now done with it.

A little less than two years ago my Windows based PC had to be replaced because it was freaking out in a variety of ways.

Last night my Toshiba literally started melting. (Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks!)

My tech savy friend John Roberts then worked actively to "turn me" (which is funny, cause I have been actively working to "turn him" for ages... but in a whole other manner). In the end, the question was not "why" to go to a Mac but rather, "why not?"

So I have a brand new white Powerbook. Its taking a bit of adjustment. I miss my two button mouse with its scroll, and I now need to replace my printer and some software, but the adjustment is moving along quickly. I love the battery. I love the simplicity. It's my new little baby.

And, while I am not thrilled to have had to dump a good deal of money on a new machine, there's a certain reality that there is nothing I could do about it: the melting wasn't my fault, there was no recessitating the Toshiba, and I can't function without a computer. So thank God that my student loans came in and that I am in the privileged position that I can just run out and buy another.

And it was a Mac.

Melt Down

Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks!

I apologize, but I think that I'm going to be inserting that little tag line into my posts for a while. Tuesday afternoon my Toshiba laptop, a little over a year and a half old, was working perfectly. No issues, no problems, no bugs.

I went to my 6pm Adoption Law class and tried to turn on my computer. No go. No lights, no sounds, no nothing. I breathed hard and tried not to panic. After class I went home and called Toshiba tech support. They told me to plug the computer in, to try removing the battery, etc. I was on the phone with them for about 20 minutes before I started to smell something...

Sniff. Sniff. Burning.

I turned over the computer and saw a quarter-sized portion of the plastic that was starting to bubble. Huh, what?

The tech support folks told me to unplug the computer (duh) and advised me that the motherboard was most likely shot.

I awoke today and went to the "authorized service agency." The guy just looked at it and laughed. Fan system is burnt out and the motherboard is shot. It would cost me about $2500 to fix. Warranty? Ran out in March. So. So. So. I'm pretty much screwed.

Buyer beware... and well they should. You buy a Toshiba, and it may well melt on you two years in.

Literally.

Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks!

Dinner date with a Professor

I have been working for one of my past law professor's for the past 9 months or so. A friend and I were painstakingly editing his book, and just finished the work about two weeks ago. As a reward for our hard work, this professor decided to take us out.

So last night, the three of us met up for dinner and a Timberwolves game. I was a little nervous. At first glance, this Professor and I have absolutely nothing to talk about. I was wraking my brain for "safe" conversation topics as I sat waiting for our little date. I certainly couldn't go into most of my social life. Definitely not the Cowboy Auction of this last weekend. Not particularly interested in sharing details of my family life... Politics was HUGELY off the board, as he has pictures in his office of him with every Republican President since Nixon. I resigned myself to a night of very awkward non-conversation.

Turns out, my cynacism (and that of a few of my friends) was off base. I had a pretty good time at dinner (although the conversation was little centered on the topics of the book we had just finished editing and on faculty tenure procedures) and then the game freakin rocked our socks off! The seats he had treated us to were amazing, and the Timberwolves pulled out a killer victory breaking the Sun's long wining streak. It was quite the game to be at, and I was thankful for the generosity of the professor.

There was a moment however when I wondered:
"You think he knows I'm checking out the guy sitting in front of us?"

Oh, and to those wondering: we did run out of butter.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" Scissor Sisters,
Ta-Dah!

City Mouse and Country Mouse

We got to the Cowboy Auction at 5pm. My roommate, in all her glory, was pimping me out for yet another event for her nonprofit. As she works for a truly admirable cause, I'm always happy to play along, and have had some truly cool experiences through her.

Well, I was on the Auction Block, and was a little nervous about it. I had slept fitfully the night before (although oddly for that uneasy sleep lasted for about 14 hours). I had had a very odd "stress-dream" about the whole thing. I'd describe it if I could. I had also not had a chance to eat much that day, so I was starved by the time we got to the auction. I grabbed a free bowl of chili and started taking on the Beer Bust. I figured I needed something to help the nerves. And it did. (if you havent figured it out yet, the lack of good sleep, the not eating and the quick drinking added up to some questionable decisions... questionable but fun...)

I made a concerted effort to introduce myself to the other cowpolk, as I was one of the only outsiders being auctioned off. Along the way I met a gentleman who was, well, quite taken with me. Well, I continued to make my rounds, and met some genuinely nice people. After about two hours of drinking, the auction was good to start. I was third up, and I watched as the first two candidates got only moderate attention standing on a low-stage tucked into the corner of the bar. Well, nobody puts Baby in the Corner. When my time came around, I jumped right up on the bar in the center of everything.

With the first two Auctionees, the Caller started with bids of about $25. Much to my surprise, as soon as I jumped up on the bar, she started at $200!!! Well, after a short bout of bidding, I was up to $350. Which turned out to be the second highest amount of the evening. (and I must say I was proud to hit that while maintaining my dignity... no nipple-clamps, ball-gag, kilt or stripping for me... I got that money through charm and style) (don't burst my bubble... let me think that for a while).

Well, the night was a blast, and I ended up a) accidentally winning another "Cowboy" for $125; b) getting into a fight with a guy who kept grabbing my ass, and then the guy who threatened to kick me out for standing up for myself (Hi. Drama. This is Christian. Why don't you two hang out for a while?); c) going to White Castle with my roommate, a drag queen, and a pig farmer; d) going home with said pig farmer; e) all of the above.

Lest anyone get the wrong impression, I had a really good time with the Pig Farmer. In fact it wasn't until the next morning when I awoke in a trailer park and he was pillow-talking about fertilizing sows that I realized just what a cultural juxtaposition I had drunkenly stumbled into. These guys (the drag queen, his partner, and the farmer) were such absolutely wonderful guys, but truly cut from a different cloth of life. It was quite fun hanging out with them and getting a little taste of a whole other culture.

So I count Saturday night as a success: I went home with one Cowboy, was "bought" for a date with another, and "bought" my own date for a third. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"This River is Wild" The Killers,
Sam's Town

50 First Dates

This semester seems like it is going to be a bit easier than the past three. I no longer fear my classes, professors, or classmates, and since I am not technically working this semester at a paying job, my days tend to be a lot shorter. This has afforded me the opportunity to cook like crazy (this last week: Cherry-Glazed tenderloins, Three-Mustard Chicken, Indonesian Peanut Chicken, and a Vodka-Bolognese Pasta). It has also given me the opportunity to date.

A lot.

In the last three weeks I have gone on first-dates with five different guys. As one of them later commented, “It’s like dating season hit early.” I guess it’s the mild weather. Reminds me of a John Mayer song.

While the string of “first dates” with few seconds might seem dismal, I have actually really enjoyed the ability to get to know someone, determine their worth in 30-minutes or less, and then get on with my life. (I’m kidding about that last part). I have always thought that the first dates were always the most fun: getting to know someone, quietly peering into the future to see if there would be any possibility with the guy, fantasizing just a little about that prospect. It’s far removed from the actual nitty-gritty of a relationship and also gives you the opportunity to feel wanted and to remind yourself that you ARE indeed a quality dating candidate.

It’s rather funny: when you are single and not dating, you fantasize about having a boyfriend. But now that I am dating, I am not so keen on the boyfriend idea: I’m having fun doing this part, and wouldn’t want to peremptorily latch onto one candidate for fear of missing out on someone more suitable. While this threatens to turn me into a “serial dater” if Nebraska (see June entries) was any indication, I can see a good thing when it comes along. (p.s. I saw him at the bar not too long ago with a really… less attractive… date. That’s always affirming. Even though he still wouldn’t say Hello without a great deal of awkwardness.)

So that’s me. Cooking and dating. And really happy about it.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"St. Patrick's Day" John Mayer,
Room for Squares

Spiders on Drugs

I hate spiders. But this actually garners some affection. Science is fun!

Dead Mother's Society

Wow... I usually don't write about television shows, but Grey's Anatomy just hit that one on the head. Amazing.

After my mother died unexpectedly when I was 17, I joined a newly-formed "Grief Group" at my high school. The school counselor had noticed that many students had recently had losses in their families, so he got permission for us to skip class once a month or so and sit around and talk about it. I remember that their were 12 of us. And 10 had lost their mother's in previous year. Eerie.

I don't remember if it was there or later when I was living in Venezuela with a wonderful girl from D.C. who had also lost her mother. But I know that it was there that we officially started coining the "Dead Mother's Society." We actually teasingly ostracized our other best friend down there who had a family blessedly untouched by death. And when another friend lost her mother, we were quick to let her into our club. While we struggled with living in a whole new culture, we both had to address aspects of our losses. There was something about the solidarity to be found in others who you know understand that which is completely non-understandable: death. We were so young, but so mature in that one (limited) respect. We had something. It was a horrible burden while also being an incredible blessing.

Well, in Grey's Anatomy this week George's father died. At the end of the episode, Christina welcomed him into the "Dead Father's Club." And George said one of the most profound lines I have ever heard on television:

"I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't."

Seven years out, I still live those words.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"We Will Be Silhouettes" The Postal Service,
Give Up

It's Strep! Where are the Republicans?

Went to the doctor's office this morning. My throat was so bad last night that I could hardly breathe. Not a fun feeling. I actually had quite a pleasant (and quick) experience with the medical clinic I go to. The doctor took one quick look down my throat, said, "Oh my goodness, that's Strep." And I was on my way with some antibiotics. Sweet. I'm actually already beginning to feel better.

I went to one class, then a meeting, and then was on my way into Clinic, where I saw the Prof. I told her about my diagnosis, and she said, "What are you even doing here? Get the hell out of the building. Now." So, now I have the afternoon off.

With this free time, already feeling better, I started to wonder: Is there anyone I'd like to infect with Strep? The people at the DMV were assholes to me last time I was there... But they already work in a semi-hell.

Oh... Wait... Where is it that they are planning the Republican National Convention? I should go "volunteer" for the afternoon.

Nothing wrong with licking a few phones and doorknobs.

(this idea brought to you by Dan Savage)

Single and Sick

So I've been dating a lot lately. In the last week or so, I mean. I have had the opportunity to get to know four new guys, and have really enjoyed this new... deluge of quality people. Most are decent friend material if nothing else, but I've got my eye on one in particular...

It's nice to finally have time to make this happen. Because I am on a "leave of absense" this semester and finally finished both editing the book and working the murder trial (motion for mistrial filed) I actually have a pretty easy semester scheduled. Rather decadant to get to take dates, go out occassionally on weeknights, cook... be a normal human being.

I am, however, at one of those moments when being single sucks: I'm sick.

I had to fight off a 24 hour bug last week, and had substantially nursed myself back to health, but then I woke up this morning and my throat was horridly swollen, my back ached, my head felt feverishly warm... Flu. Flu. Yuck.

I know its lame, but the fun of being single is quickly sapped when all you want is for someone to take care of you... Feed you soup, rub your back.

Oh well. Knowing my immune system, I will kick this by tomorrow and life will resume its normality. I have a Happy Hour date scheduled for tomorrow. And possible dates on Friday and Sunday. Hopefully I can get back to it...

Any suggestions?

Just got home from judging Moot Trial competitions for undergraduate students. Actually quite a fun way to spend the day. I got to dish out some of what I have been taking for the last couple of years (don't worry, I was comparably gentle, even when I practically announced a mistrial this afternoon when one side took a few liberties during closing arguments). Good stuff. (Im such a law geek.)

I went on my first date in ages last night. Pretty cool actually. Regardless of the fact that this guy was pretty damn cool, I simply havent had a real, honest to God date in a really long time. We went to a nice dinner, a good movie, and parted ways. Wow. Comfortable and cordial, and we were sober and everything! Getting to know this guy seems like it's going to be fun.

Im refusing to be "that guy" and so my only thought on it at this point is this: my major social scenes and fun for the past year and a half in law school has been at the bars. Happy Hours with friends, Bar Review with school people, parties to celebrate different things (tonight and tomorrow). I enjoy my social life, and am rather proud that I have been able to sustain what I have this last year or so. But we're not big on the sober activities.

And this guy is.

So my query is this: what non-alcoholic activities does one do in the middle of a frigid winter to have fun and get to know a guy? Bowling comes to mind, but I'd like to reserve the REALLY lame until they are necessary. Any suggestions?

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Give and Take" Kina,
Kina

Law Student's New Year's Resolutions

To be adopted by all, no exceptions, alterations, extensions, or objections allowed.

1. I will remember that my fellow law students are human beings and treat them as such.
   
2. I will not base my self-worth on my school's US News ranking or my firm's Vault ranking.
3. I will recognize that the law is powerful and that I can aid those who are powerless, and will do so.
4. I will make as much money as I can while doing something I enjoy.
   
5. I will share outlines and notes freely and without prejudice.
6. I will act ethically at all times.
   
7. I will cultivate at least one interest or hobby outside of law school.
8. I will party, travel, and relax as hard as I can and as often as I can, as this may be my last real chance to do so.
9. I will not forget the big picture.
   
10. I will remind myself daily that as bad as this might be, I am privileged to be here.

(list care of M at Yet Another Law Blog)

My personal Resolution: "Take the Risk!"

Voices from the Past

I went to the local gay bar in my hometown last night for a little while with my father (yeah, he rocks) and after he left I ended up chilling out with an old buddy. I did a favor for this guy years back at Christmas, and he's pretty well convinced that I'm the second-coming. We sat and caught up for a while, but it didn't take him too long to get drunk enough to begin telling me what a great guy he thinks I am, and that I deserve all the joys in life, etc. etc. It was actually really what I needed at that moment. Someone to remind me to be patient, stick to my guns, and everything will fall into place (see last post). And let's be honest: it never hurts to have someone rave about you for a little while. I think I need to put this guy on speed dial for when I'm feeling down.

Along those same lines, I have gotten a couple of emails recently bringing me back to my time at Marquette University. As I understand it, I was mentioned during the mid-year graduation speech as the tour guide who inspired the speaker to come to Marquette, and was a shining example of everything Marquette should be. It's a pretty cool thing to be reminded of the mark I left on that community. Plus I finally made it into a Senior Speech.

(Back story: I was originally selected to be the graduation speaker for my graduation, but the President of the University overrode the committee's decision (and a couple of his Deans) because he thought that I was uncontrollable and couldn't be counted on to stick to my speech. True, I had, at that point, recently helped stage University-wide protest of the dumb-ass decision to name our athletic teams the "Gold"... but they had reversed that decision by graduation. Ahh well... I knew what I was risking and I took one for the team in the name of integrity)

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"These Are the Days" 10,000 Maniacs,
Our Time in Eden

Success and Happiness

In my youth, my mother posted a saying on one of our kitchen cabinets, where it remains to this day:

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."

Lately I have been riding myself pretty hard about what I lack in my own life. When visiting my cousins these last couple of days, I joked self-derogatorily about my inability to find and hold onto a boyfriend. My elder cousins have all paired off and found wonderful spouses. Even some of the younger ones are showing me up in the relationship department. It's easy to look around the room and feel like your whole life doesn't measure up to the glamour of those partnerships.

One of my cousins-in-law gave me a wake-up call though: "Look around this room," he said. "Who among your cousins, or even their spouses, has the job prospects that you have? It seems to me that you are doing pretty well for yourself right about now."

I've had to concede recently that I have sacrificed a lot in terms of social-life and relationship prospects so that I could pursue my goals through law school. I have had to put my hobbies on hold. I'm not as fit as I currently would like to be. And yet I lead a very happy life. I'm surrounded by great people. I have a job I love. I am kicking ass at school (I may have to revise this after grades get posted).

I have long understood the despair that comes from comparing yourself to those around you. I think it is time for me to start being happy with the things I have earned myself, and let everything else fall into place as it will. And have faith that it all will.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Keep it Precious" Melissa Etheridge,
Never Enough

Holiday Break

I suppose that it's rather obvious by now, but I have been taking a break from blogging while at home enjoying my family. I will be back in the Twin Cities on the 30th, and have a couple posts up my sleeve, but for now I am just enjoying the warmth and sloth of my father's house. Hope everyone has enjoyed their holidays!

UPDATE: The Previous 3 posts, and the following 3 posts are what I had stewing.

Losing my Flirt

I realized the other day that I have lost my "flirt."

Perhaps it is that I live in an academic and work world where it is not okay to "put yourself out there" and take risks that could damage your reputation. Perhaps I spent so much time flirting from behind the safety of a bar that I can no longer survive without that safety net. Perhaps I just need to grow a pair.

For whatever reason, I no longer seem to be able to approach men. This has been crimping my style for quite a while. I dont want to seem lame, I dont want to get shot down, I dont want to be seen as "that guy," so instead I am not seen at all. Guys continue to pressume that I am straight/taken/intimidating and I miss a hell of a lot of opportunities.

My friend Peter in Chicago tried to teach me some of his style last time I visited him. Its the "Im fucking Christian!" mentality. I guess the idea didnt take. The other night at the fundraiser (see previous post) I struck up a conversation with an extremely attractive eligible bachelor. We actually talked about our inabilities to approach men. And it would have taken just a little bit of guts to say, "Hey, would you be interested in going for dinner sometime." And yet I let him walk away without following through with the encounter.

I found out the next day that later that night he had scheduled a date with another guy.

Then after I was finished rushing around the city today with an incredible red-wine-hangover, I got onto a bus toward home to pack and catch my flight home. I get on the bus, and see this guy with beautiful eyes sitting a bit ahead of me. I can see his eyes because he keeps turning and casually looking at me. At one point our eyes catch and we have "Eye Sex" for about 10 seconds before I looked away. Then I got up to get off, and he got up and stood with his back to me, milimeters away from me. He got off at the stop before mine. I should have gotten off with him, walked the extra block, asked him if he lived around here. Asked him his name. Generally struck up a conversation. Damnit.

My internet bf (dont ask) was telling me about how he hit on his waiter and ended up having great sex as a result. Im less jealous of the sex than his ability to strike up interest from a perfect stranger.

I think if I have a New Year's Resolution it is this: Take the Friggin Risk! It has become apparent to me that the coy thing isn't working out for me, and it is time to let go of some of the safety of hiding behind my ego and seeming above it all. It's not working. It's time to flirt.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"You Still Touch Me" Sting,
Mercury Falling

That Christmas Feeling

I had just finished up my Evidence exam, and a flood hit me of freedom and excitement to have my semester completely finished. As I hadn't gotten a chance to start my Christmas shopping started, with only a few days left before the holiday, I decided to head off to start checking some things off my list.

Among the gifts I bought were some things for a family I kinda adopted. They were desperately in need of some Christmas cheer, and I had figured out a cool way to anonymously get some gifts for them. So I wandered around Target for near 2 hours grabbing stuff off the shelves and then got to the Christmas stockings. For some reason, Christmas stockings have always been more essential to Christmas even than the tree for me. In my family, the gifts in the stockings were smaller, but usually more meaningful. We always got an ornament, and Santa writes my sister and I a personalized letter that always makes me tear up.

I was fortunate enough to be able to get this family their stockings for the year, and as I stood in the middle of Target, I started to tear up. Staring at the stockings and just picturing the joy it might bring to another family. That combined with the cumulative exhaustion from finals... It was my first Christmas moment of the season.

Later that night, I was volunteering for a fundraiser my roommate had asked me if I wanted to attend. It was this amazing jazz benefit for kids with HIV and AIDS. The work needed of the volunteers was pretty light, so I bought a celebratory bottle of one of my favorite wines, and let the music just soak into me. It was some of the most awesome Christmas singing I have ever heard. And the event raised an amazing amount of money.

It just felt so good to be reminded that, yes, we actually are in the midst of the Christmas spirit. A spirit of charity and good will. There's nothing better.

God bless us, every one.

Who is it that Likes Hillary Clinton?

Someone needs to fill me in on this. I work/live/love a lot of liberals, and I have yet to hear one person make a solid argument about how Hillary Clinton would be electable. It really has me puzzled. How can someone be the front runner if no-one will vote for her?

The latest Newsweek published a poll stating that "47% of those polled said they would not even consider" voting for Hillary. Wow. And the other 53% are certainly not ALL going to go to her. The Right has had 16 years to drag her name through the mud. Add to that the fact that we dont have a popular vote system for president, and I really don't understand how she can win any states that Kerry lost while even holding those he won. It just aint gonna happen.

I would like to have someone, anyone, explain to me how she stands a chance. Anyone?

Right now, I like Edwards for the win, but Obama for the loss, but a loss to a moderate Republican (McCain or Giuliani). But if we nominate Hillary, I swear to you Mitt Romney will be our next president.

And that scares the shit out of me.

Guilty

I got my first jury verdict yesterday. I had been working on this case for about three and a half months, and earlier in the day was extremely excited to see the work conclude and ship the file off of my desk. That was, of course, before I realized just what that would mean for our client.

This was a first degree murder trial, which means that when the jury found our client guilty, the client I had sat behind for two weeks, that he gets a mandatory life sentence. They spent just four hours deliberating how this 24 year old man gets to spend the rest of his life.

Setting aside the fact that the prosecutor pulled some dirty-ass stunts on the last day of trial, and that there are some serious "sufficiency of the evidence" issues to take to the Court of Appeals, I just have trouble looking at this guy, who was allegedly the get-away-driver in the shooting, and seeing that he could have no potential value to our community. I know more about this guy's gang history than almost anyone else on the planet, and I know that it isnt pretty. But I can honestly say that I think he is fundamentally a good guy. A good guy that has just fucked up. A lot.

I was asked to sit in on the "exit interview" with the client after the verdict was read. We went back to the holding area and just sat there for what felt like forever. What the fuck does someone say to a guy who has just had his adult life sentenced to a cell, with no hope of parole til he's in his 60s? To not get to participate in his child's life? He was betrayed by friends on the stand who we KNOW were lying to get a deal from the prosecutor. No eye-witness could put him at the scene. And it took four hours to convict. We just sat there swearing to ourselves under our breathe. When it was all over we got up and both gave the guy a sincere hug. A very sincere hug. It was all we could do.

Someone asked me later if this makes me more or less inclined to work in criminal defense. I dont even have to think about it. More. How can I walk away feeling like the system doesnt need more people standing up for defendants when I see it as so fundamentally broken that we throw people away for the rest of their lives?

I went home and exercised as many coping methods as I could (besides the obvious: drinking, which I tried to stay away from). I worked out until my body was wracked with pain. I crumpled, sobbing, in the shower. I cooked for a couple hours, binging along the way on anything I could get my hands on. Then fell asleep watching Elf, trying to think of better things. It worked to some extent.

I wish that there was a happy ending to this one. But I do work in the criminal justice system. Usually not happy beginings and few happy endings.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Crawling in the Dark" Hoobastank,
Hoobastank

Internet Issues

Just so nobody is getting disappointed out there, I have not fallen (completely) off the face of the earth. My internet has.

I have been super busy with finals coming at me and the trial that just finished yesterday. I have still been writing, but havent had time to post much of it because I no longer am receiving free wireless from an unknown source in my apartment. Sad.

Two Unknown Phone Numbers

So Saturday night became rather eventful...

I had spent the day at the office trying to get things ready for the end of the trial I am working on, and then came home and started to study for finals, as most of my friends were doing. I was content to drink a bottle of Syrah, cuddle up to a few favorite gay flicks and enjoy a solitary night home.

Then I got a call from an unfamiliar number...

It was the gay republican who I blew off after I figured out that he had some "issues" going on. One of which being that he liked to insult me. The other being an extreme discomfort with "being gay." I hadn't been completely confident in my decision to end things with him when I had done so, and getting a call out of the blue on a solitary Saturday night didn't help me feel much more certain about my decision. Thoughts start to arise, "Maybe I should give him another chance." "Maybe I should have settled for... (insert issues here)." I called my sister, who had been adamant about this guy being wrong for me, but she wasn't around, so I didn't have that fortitude to back me up. All of a sudden my "solitary" Saturday felt a bit more "lonely."

Then I got my second call from an unfamiliar number...

This one from one of my best friends who had left me for Boston. He was *surprise* in town for the weekend and *not surprised* up for going out. "Get showered and shave, we're going out!" Sweet! I miss this buddy dearly, and it was great to see him. Went to a quick houseparty, then off to the Saloon where I proceeded to get drunk enough to take off my shirt. It wasn't that I drank a lot there, but that I had forgotten about the bottle of wine I had drank earlier with my more innocuous intentions.

Ended up closing up the bar, making out with a friend, having a very good night. It's amazing to me the difference that having these people in my life makes. One made me feel particularly bad about myself. The other made me feel like a rock star. I really shouldn't be so dependant on the people around me for how I feel about myself... But I am only human, after all.

Musical Fodder for my Writing: