It's time to do the right thing.

I have a friend who is grappling a lot lately with his mother. She constantly seems to be playing hot and cold with the fact he is gay. One minute she seems okay with it, another she seems to draw needless hurtful lines in the sand that only create a further distance between her and her son.

I had the opportunity to mentor a lot of young gay folks when I was in college. And one truth was apparent: the parents nearly always come around to accept their child and love him deeper for the secret that no longer stands between them. It may take years, and years, but most eventually become their kid's greatest allies and fiercest defenders. And in the few instances where they didn't, the gay person went on to be happier for being who he is, but he went on without his parent(s). And its cripplingly sad, but he is the one who moves on. The parents never really do.

I just want to take this mother and shake her. Do you realize how much you are going to regret all of these petty little fights? All the times when you hurt your beautiful son? I am confident that she will one day come around, and I want to tell her to do it soon. There is no "gray" in love. You either do or you dont. You support him or you dont. You want him in your life or your dont. And every time you make some petty-ass decision to let something come between you and your son, you will regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not even soon. But someday you will look back: perhaps you will then have a greater understanding of what an ass you were or perhaps you will simply wonder why you dont have a better relationship with your son. And here's the answer: you didnt love him enough. So its time to cut the bullshit. Its time to let it go, see your son for the magnificent young man he is. Someone who is kind and caring, funny and intelligent, driven and, most importantly: happy in who he is.

Be happy for him. Be happy with him. I guarantee that it will only make both your lives better.