Monday, October 30, 2006

A Little Journey Makes it All Better

I had a very very long day. Work is piling up, and I came home just drained to the point of exhaustion. I havent eaten, and I have no food in the house, no desire to order anything, and no energy to cook even the Ramen that I have left... Then my iTunes randomly hit on a Journey song, and my outlook got just a bit brighter.

The song triggered a fantastic memory from my last trip to Chicago. My sister and I completely jamming out to Journey blasting in Dad's mini-van while he is looking more and more perplexed by our strange enchantment at the song... We're not the only ones...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Confused by Time

I spent most of the day today forgetting that we had gained an hour by daylight savings time. Oops... Then proceeded to get REALLY confused at my office when I couldnt tell if it was 4:30 or 5:30. Anyway...

Just got back from a political function which served as a great networking opportunity with my law school mentor. Fun to meet all sorts of new people, most of whom were very well connected. As a matter of fact, I started speaking with the owner of the bar hosting the function, and he kinda offered me a job. We just got into talking about bar life, and my experiences, and how much I miss it, and he said that he could use someone to fill spots occassionally. God, that would be a blast! I feel like I would be a bit daunted by the skill of the other bartenders at this place, but it would certainly be a lot of fun. Ill just have to see what comes of it. SWEET!

I spent about 10 hours in the office this weekend trying to bring my life back to some semblance of normality after focusing so diligently on the Halloween party. And last night I went to the office Halloween Party. I had quite a good time, and while I felt some seperation from some of the attorneys simply by the fact of my age, I ended up hanging out with the younger crowd and getting along just fine. They even got me to sing Karaoke! I havent done that since I lived in Venezuela! (thats about 6 years Ive been able to get away with not singing Karaoke)

Wow... I keep coming back to the prospect of bartending. Thrilling!

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Stay" Small Sins,
Small Sins

Friday, October 27, 2006

This, Right Now, Is Why I'm Single

Friday night. 10:30 p.m. I'm staying in. I couldn't be happier about that.

I spent the last few weeks stressing out about planning last night's Halloween party for the law school. It ended up being a kick-ass party, and everything went well, but I was exhausted from putting everything together and literally sleeping in my office last night so as to save time between helping to close the bar at 2:30am and working at 7:30am.

Anyway, my party-mojo is a bit spent. I have at least two parties I could make it to tonight, and was planning on going out until about 20 minutes ago. But I'm relieved as hell to be sitting peaceably in my apartment watching DVDs and listening to music.

I have moments lately when I look at my life and wonder why Im not sharing it with someone else. In the darker moments I begin to wonder, "Is there something wrong with me?" The truth is, however, that I am just not "out there" right now. The dating pool at a law school party is rather shallow (although I did have a cutie handcuff himself to me last night... but I think he is straight). And while there would undoubtably be eligible gay bachelors at the parties tonight, here I sit in my apartment.

Law school is undoubtably one of those things that one must just "get through." And this semester is likely the busiest I will have. I'm weathering things well. Very well in fact. And I suppose that if that means that I have to neglect my social life for a little while for personal sanity and health, Im just going to have to be patient with myself.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"When I Fall" Barenaked Ladies,
Born on a Pirate Ship

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Had to Repost: Red State Glory

Courtesy of Josh & Josh:

"If the blue states are sinkholes of moral decay, as right-wing pundits insist, how come red states lead the nation in violent crime, divorce, illegitimacy, and incarceration, among other evils?"

*Nine out of the top ten states with the highest incarceration rates are red states, with Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas leading the pack. Delaware is the only blue state in the top ten.

*All of the top ten states with the highest incarceration of women are red states, with Mississippi, Oklahoma, and Louisiana leading the pack.

*The ten states with the highest number of executed prisoners are red states. Texas, Ohio, and Oklahoma are the top three states.

*The top fifteen states for highest rate of death by firearms are all red states. Alaska, Louisiana, and New Mexico lead the group.

*Fourteen of the fifteen states with the highest rate of suicide are red states, with Wyoming, Alaska, and Nevada at the top of the list. The only blue state to appear is Oregon.

*The ten states with the highest divorce rates in the United States are all red states. Nevada, Arkansas, and Wyoming have the highest rates of divorce.

*Nine out of the ten states with the highest rates of illegitimacy are red states. The only blue state in the top ten is Delaware.

*Fourteen of the fifteen states with the highest percentage of obese residents are red states, with Mississippi, Alabama, and West Virginia coming in as the most obese states. Michigan is the only blue state in the group.

*Meanwhile, eight of the ten smartest states (based on state education rankings) are blue states. Vermont, Connecticut, and Massachusetts are the smartest states. Minnesota ranks sixth. Virginia and Montana are the only red states to appear on the list.

data from: "Red State Babylon", Vanity Fair, November 2006, p.162-168

Beautiful Disaster

Before I begin my recap, I have to touch on a bit of news: today at 3pm, the New Jersey Supreme Court will rule on whether it is legal to prohibit gays and lesbians from getting married in that state. With less than two weeks until the mid-term elections, this ruling could change the entire face of it. While it would be beautiful to see another court uphold the dignity of same-sex relationships, the result of a positive ruling would devestate the campaign against a Constitutional Amendment to ban same-sex marriage in Wisconsin, the first state in the union where the polling shows that such an Amendment could be beaten. On the flip-side, if the NJ Court were to find that it is within the realm of the legislature to forbid gay marriage, it would be another example of unfortunate jurisprudence, but it would utterly defeat the argument that "activist judges need to be restrained."

I dont know what I hope for on this one. Defeat in the battle for victory in the war? "Beautiful disaster" seems about right.

As for me, this Monday I returned from a week of distractions from all things law and law-related. It started with a staff-party that was just killer two Fridays ago. Most of the lawyers in my office just ripping it up on a Friday night. It was amazing fun, and I had to excuse myself rather early so I could assure that I woke up on time for my flight to Chicago the next morning.

I then spent the next five days visiting with family and friends in Chicago, which was just beautiful. We ate well, and I have always said that I never laugh as much as when I am with my family. (sister: "You know this song is about masturbation..." My father and I both scandalized, "You're a dirty whore!") My sister is starting to date, and that is amazing to see. Granted, Im going to have to knee-cap the first gentleman who breaks her heart, but its good to see that guys are starting to realize how stellar she is.

Hung out with some of my oldest friends in the world last Monday, who accompanied me to a gay bar where we realized we were one friend short of our group of Boy Scouts, all sitting around at the gay bar. The next morning went on a fun personal quest for a shower... Fun story.

Back in Minneapolis I dealt with some drama I had created the week before, which resolved well in the end. Also got to take TWO trips to the DMV to become an official citizen in this State. That was never-ending fun! (more never-ending than fun) Then last weekend I staffed a camp for kids being adopted out of foster care. Simply amazing. I essentially got to spend the weekend playing and roughhousing with a group of about 40 while working with some of the most incredible people I have met in a while. Im pretty sure that I fell in love with several of the other staffers. Just the most genuine, caring and diverse crowd you could imagine. And organically diverse too... I enjoyed the weekend so much that it all has me really thinking about my future in law. I was invited to apply for postition to work at the camp for the summer, and while it would be about the worst career move ever, Im seriously considering it. I suppose that could be another "Beautiful Disaster."

Now that Im back, this week is a bit overwhelming, but it helps that I took the break to get an even keel. Ive had meetings all week that Ive helped to plan on top of my regular schedule, and Ive also been in charge of planning our law school Halloween party which will (hopefully) be for about 150 people. Its been quite a project, forcing everything (including whatever schoolwork I would normally do) to the backburner. I will be a very happy camper when Thursday has come and gone.

In all of this, many of my friends havent seen me in months. Sorry if you are one of them. I wish I could claim it was going to get better. Until Thanksgiving I am so busy I can hardly see straight. We'll hang out during finals?

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Beautiful Disaster" Kelly Clarkson,
Breakaway

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Caution: Don't Operate Under the Influence of Anger

Where did my Zen go?

And my charm with it?

This week I got angry. I let something get to me on Sunday. A wrong that I knew just had to be righted. People had come to me seeking guidance, and I took their issues on as my own.

I am trying really hard not to write off the lessons of this week as "Drink more, Care less," which is, of course, my first inclination. But I think there is a greater lesson to be learned. I got so very very full of righteous anger at this situation that in the process of trying to solve this "great ill" I stepped on a dear friend's toes and insulted her, perhaps overstepped the bounds of a leadership position that I have been trusted with, and might have umm... well... threatened the Dean. Yeah. Im feeling like a pretty popular guy right now. All because I let myself get angry.

It's like this Incredible Hulk thing. People generally find me gregarious and easygoing. But if something manages to get me angry, well, then Im not so much fun to be around. I want Justice, and I want it NOW!!! Unfortunately, 99% of the time, that is not the way the world works. The person who is to blame for the situation I am trying to solve will undoubtably face consequences in his life for his actions (or not). But the situation which I suppose should concern me more is the way that I have allowed myself to become isolated in my anger at the situation. And there is noone to blame for that but myself. I havent let others become involved in the ways that they otherwise might come forward. I havent respected my school enough to at least let them TRY to get this right. They might not, but I guess the greater issue is whether I am going to let myself become lost in the process.

Maybe the lesson here is, "Drink more, but still care in the right way." The irony is that the prayer, reflection and even breathing that I have tried to make integral parts of my life got completely left on the wayside here. And I lost.

Learn this lesson Christian.

Damnit. Learn this lesson.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"The World I Know" Collective Soul,
Collective Soul

Monday, October 09, 2006

A student ... and North Korean Nukes

So... I've seen some recognizable faces in the news lately.

Last spring, for those who remember, I had an absolutely dreadful semester teaching kids at a downtown school different lessons related to the law to their 10th grade English class. It was, bar none, the worst volunteer experience of my life. However, I had one student who was engaged (if overly so) and was constantly trying to bait us into "Why shouldn't we impeach Bush" discussions. In short, he was awesome. I continued to play to the middle, and by the end of the class he accused me of not only being conservative but of being homophobic. Alas, I just couldnt win with that crowd.

Well, I just saw him in the news, confronting some homophobic parents who were protesting about the lessons at the school being too open about sexuality. God bless him. Seriously, almost makes the miserable volunteer experience worth it. Almost.

[edited for a minor amount of discretion]

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, North Korea purports to have successfully tested a nuclear weapon. Is there anything else G.W. can fuck up?

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Weenie Beenie" Foo Fighters,
Foo Fighters

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Just showing Im not the only one who thinks he's a jerk...

Justice Scalia started out the judicial term with a bang. Not much of one, for him, and yet still a pretty decent gaffe if it were to come from a normal person. Something about Mexicans not being expected to abstain from their tequila. They are Mexicans after all.

From Slate.com:

"Nobody laughs. But then, nobody winces or flinches, either. Somehow, a remark that would have flattened us had a Souter spoken it is just a solid day at the office for Scalia. I have no idea where the tequila comment should register on the nation's macaca-meter. The more interesting question is about Scalia's deliberate carelessness with language, his sense that he is somehow above the sorts of linguistic delicacy the rest of us expect in our dealings with others. Indeed, he seems to think it's his obligation to be ever more reckless with his words, perhaps because he's about the only guy left who faces no consequences for his rhetorical body-slams."

Interestingly, that is exactly what I had questioned him about some weeks ago: not his judicial theory, but his callous use of the English language.

"If George Allen had uttered Scalia's 'nobody thinks your client is abstaining from tequila' crack today, it would have been front-page news. The rest of us would have been forced to form some opinion as to whether it was an 'aspersion,' a stereotype, a gaffe, or just a celebration of worm-laden beverages. But the court exists on a different plane, and for good reason. We don't want every branch of government to be beholden to the electorate, but that doesn't mean that the justices shouldn't be beholden to themselves. Scalia wants to be a part of the national conversation, but not on the terms the nation has agreed to. And each time he unleashes one of these remarks, I find myself wondering whether he's protecting his right to express himself, or just relishing his free pass."

At least I know that, at my school, he didnt get a free pass.

I wouldn't let him have one.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

How Republicans made me sick

I had a wonderful day yesterday, ending up with me going to my school's Diversity Potluck (the gay org brought rainbow Jello). For the second year in a row, I was delightfully surprised by how much I enjoyed being around other people who realized the necessity for increased diversity of all types. At one point, a named-partner from one of the local firms talked about how diverse his office has become, and I went, "Wow. I could work there." That, from me who has avidly sworn off firm life.

Well, among the many diverse foods at the potluck, the Republicans brought McDonald's cheeseburgers. Classic. Way to show your diversity.

Anyway, I was hungry, and had a little bit of everything, and did indeed eat the cheeseburger. It was the only meat I ate, and about 4 hours later, I regreted that decision with every lurch of my stomach. I have not felt that sick in a very very long time.

I think it was my body just rejecting the fruits of the Republican party. (or perhaps it was the really really low-grade meat that the rich feed the poor to increase their profit margins...)

Funny, I went on a few dates with a Republican a couple of weeks back. He was charming, witty, had a great apartment and a pretty good body. But there were some major self-hate issues going on. The final straw was when he refused to kiss me good bye in his car when dropping me off in my uber-gay neighborhood. I have worked for 7 years now to be comfortable with who I am, Im not about to start heading backwards.

Speaking of republicans (or Democrats if you believe Fox news) the internet is all abuzz with the Mark Foley scandal. My only thoughts for the moment are this: I am tired of Americans using alcoholism as an excuse for everything from racism to ephebophilia (being attracted to adolescents). Its truly vexing that a serious social disease is just being cast around as an excuse to get people off the hook.

Secondly, here is where I think sexuality fits in:
"If this has a familiar ring, look in the Catholic Church for the bell. Republican leadership was acting like the Catholic hierarchy, which played shell games with men accused of sexually abusing children. And there's a good reason for the similarity. The inability to deal straightforwardly with gay people leads to other kinds of truth-avoidance when things go south. But that's what comes from not wanting to know something, and going out of your way to remain ignorant." David Link of the Boston Globe

It's time to deal with people as they are. Haven't we learned from our past that telling people that they are "wrong" to be gay only confuses them as to what is truly right and wrong?


Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"You Learn" Alanis Morissette,
MTV Unplugged

Pelosi's 100 hours

Why I love this woman. This would be like a dream come true.

Pelosi Says She Would Drain GOP 'Swamp' - washingtonpost.com

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Election Fun

Its not making much news right now, but the new polls may prove me wrong in my previous post reacting to the NYT story about Democratic strategy.

If the election was held today, the Dems would gain 3 or 4 seats (we need 6 for a majority) with two states in a very close toss-up. The delightful thing is that the toss-up states are far from those you might expect: Tennessee and Missouri, classic Republican strongholds. The only seat that the Dems look to lose is New Jersey, and that race is within 2pts. Also, it's pleasant to see the vile Santorum down by a full 13 points in Pennsylvania. Good Lord, I will weep the day that man is pushed out of office. For joy.

As far as the House, the national polling is even, with 48% on each side saying they would vote either Red or Blue. There is at least one Florida seat that I am fairly certain the Dems are going to win. What a hypocritical jerk. I feel like I should have sympathy for the pathetic state of his life, but then again... I dont.

As for Minnesota, both the 2nd and the 6th seem to be polling Red by about 9pts. Both House seats were Red last election, so there is really nothing lost, but given Bachmann's serial idiocy, and the dress she was seen in at my law school last week, her victory would be rather unfortunate. Do you really want your Congressperson to dress so tragically? You can tell she definitely doesnt have any gay friends... They wouldnt let her leave the house looking like that.

As for governors, a lot of Red states look likely to elect Blue executives (Co, Ark, Oh, Pa), and it is good to see that my homes states are at least looking hopeful: Hatch is anywhere between 2pts up to 4 pts down against incumbent "If I cant eat it, Im not paying for it" Pawlenty. Dem Jim Doyle is up by anywhere between 3-9% in my favorite drinking state, and Granholm is between 2-8pts up in Michigan. That last one looks tight, and will effect my family (read: father) more than any other race. I'll send good karma that way.

MY night

Last night I stayed in.

It felt so friggin good. I cooked for the first time in weeks, did five loads of laundry, cleaned out my briefcase, got shit off my desk, payed bills, drank a bottle of Syrah, and watched some Will & Grace. It was great!

This semester is thusfar going very well. But I am at that brink of panic when I look at my calendar on Monday and realize that I dont have any personal time for 5 days. Ive been working, volunteering, getting Journal stuff done, planning OUT!Law events, doing Moot Court, helping out at Bar Reviews, and of course doing homework occassionally. Yesterday, I didnt qualify into the semi-finals for Moot Court (top 8) and it was somewhat a blow to my ego. But then I went out and enjoyed a few beers with some friends, sitting in the sun, and got to enjoy the rest of my Saturday. It was probably the biggest "blessing in disguise" I could have hoped for.

I have a fair amount of stuff to accomplish today, and another busy week ahead of me, but it all seems far more reasonable now that I have regained my mental focus. Thank God for that.

Oh, and for those who have asked for a shot of the new haircut:

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Lie to Me" Jonny Lang,
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