Monday, April 26, 2004

"That's SO Spanish!" (emails from abroad)

Dear friends,

Was my last email short? This will make up for it, in case any of ya'll were saddened. Some of you may be surprised to be getting an email, given my plans for a vacation weekend in the Canary Islands for my birthday. Unfortunately, this trip didn’t end up happening at all.

The circumstances of this have caused me to rave like a bit of a lunatic, and I thought I would share with you the feeling of culture shock that just now has hit. The theme of the weekend has seemed to be, "That's SO Spanish!" (side note: I love Spain, Spaniards, and the culture here... this is just me venting a bit of my frustration for the purpose of humor. laugh damnit!)

I stood in Barajas Airport, with bag in hand, ready to check in, a proper 1:30 hours before my flight, sweaty from the heat and the crowded metro, and tired from a very limited amount of sleep the night before ("That's SO Spanish!"). The ticket agent looks up my name, and brings up nothing. We try my legal name. We try my nickname. We try the initials on my credit card. We try my middle name. Nothing. I hold up the paper copy of my confirmation to show her I have a flight, and she shrugs, "You have to go to sales. Maybe they can tell you more." I walk across to the other side of the gallery and the man at the sales desk tells me my ticket was canceled. "Some problem with the internet transaction. It got cancelled automatically 24 hours after you booked the flight." I point to my printed confirmation. He shrugs. Apparently this means nothing to him... I keep asking for some sort of concession so I can enjoy the birthday trip on the beach that I have long been looking forward to. He smiles and offers me a one-way ticket for 300€. Hmmm. That’s not gonna work. "NEXT" he shouts...

"That's SO Spanish!"

Being extremely frustrated, I sit down, thoroughly angered and confused, and decide that I need to investigate other travel measures for the weekend. I walk to an information station, where I find out that the busses have gone on strike (That's SO Spanish!") and train travel is extremely expensive because of added security since the attacks, and extra crowded because there are no buses. Looks like I am sticking around Madrid.

Granted, it has been a gorgeous weekend, and I made my mind up to enjoy myself thoroughly, and further ignore the work that is heading my way with the end of the semester. I have picked up the 4th Harry Potter book, which is like offering your brain crack: it only wants more. So I took to the public parks for 4 days in a row, enjoying the most fabulous sun I have seen in a long time. I have also seen some of the most extreme use of PDA (public displays of affection) I believe is legal (some that shouldnt be).

Actually, PDA doesn’t quite describe what is going on. My friends Katie and Erin have decided that we are going to call it "hoovering." I often wonder if I am watching a display of CPR gone horridly wrong. "Should I jump in and help, because he definitely isn’t doing the chest compressions right...?" Since most Spaniards live with their parents until they are 35 (on average), they like to get it on in public spaces. Ever seen a couple walking and kissing at the same time? I still have to work on chewing gum. (while walking... not while kissing) "That's SO Spanish!"

And, why don't Spaniards get out of their parents' basements sooner? Well, most complain about a housing shortage. I usually respond saying that it took me all of three days to find a great apartment (although my landlord is un gillipolla). It actually has much more to do with their dislike of the working class. I guarantee that of the students in our academic building, of those who have EVER held jobs, 95% of them would be the American students. I have a friend who wonders at the fact that I can get into a number of clubs for free and without waiting in line, and that the bartenders often hook me up. That may have something to do with the fact that I look them in the eye and know their names. That is unheard of. Sooo, if they hate working blue collar, and wait to graduate college to get a job, hmmm... can't imagine why they are still at home.

And finally, I was out buying a couple shirts to expand my summer wardrobe, we'll call them birthday gifts, (aka "If I can't go on an island trip, I’m buying some clothes damnit!") And I went into a shop featuring a display of buttons. Among them one that read, "F%*k America." I calmly walked around the store for about a half hour, picking up about 300-400€ worth of merchandise, and as the clerks were really starting to dote on me, I saddled up to the register, put the clothes on the counter, and they started to ring me up. Only then did I pretend to see the button for the first time.

"What is this?" I asked. "How would it be appropriate if the roles were switched, and you were in my country? Would you not consider it ill-educated and ignorant?" The shop clerks kinda just brushed me off ("That's SO Spanish!") I stopped the man who was ringing me up, and told him I wanted the button. He said "Sure," and went to add it to the other things. I corrected him. "No, I JUST want the button." He paled. I paid 1€ for the button, and threw it into the garbage right there as they all stared at me. I turned on my uppity heel, and walked out. That is perhaps the most blatantly patriotic I have ever been.

So these were some of my very Spanish experiences, ones that are wonderful if for no other reason than the laughter they inspire. I am increasingly getting ready to be back to my life stateside. After registering for classes, applying for a columnist spot at the Tribune, applying, receiving and turning down another campus job, and winning the Gay/Straight Alliance Presidency (yeah!!!) my head has been re-centered in Milwaukee. I am enjoying every moment here, but it now feels much more like an extended vacation rather than an immersion experience. That’s cool, I can enjoy the vacation, and feel I have been thoroughly immersed (submerged?) in the culture. I love it, but it is not mine.

Next weekend Portugal and then heading back to Barcelona, Manresa, then finals... Much fun!

All my love my friends, hope all is well in the cities I miss!

Christian

Monday, April 19, 2004

Marathon Traveling (emails from abroad)

Hey there Folks--

There is SO much to say, and I dont know how to even begin it properly. Since the last time I wrote, I have visited Paris and London with my wonderful family, and then Venice, Florence, Rome and Pompeii with my friends. I saw some of the most incredible artwork of my life, and we had many many adventures. Details would become devastatingly long, but just know that I had an incredible time, and am now back in Madrid, just for the time being.

This upcoming weekend I am going to the Canary Islands for a bit of fun-in-the-sun, and then off to Portugal the weekend after that. Then with only three weeks left in school, I still have a weekend in Barcelona (I LOVE that city) and a couple papers to focus on. Then I come pretty much to the end of May. SCARY!!! My time here is wrapping up pretty quickly, so I am all the more thankful that I have some reflection time in June during a spiritual pilgrimage. But all-in-all, I am in the home stretch now. I will be back state-side on June 28th, and then I get to see about making some money!

Since I am skipping through much of my travels, this will actually be one of my shortest updates, but I dont think I am going to hear any complaints. Life is good, time is short, and I am going back outside to enjoy the day. Love to all,

Christian