Well, I checked out of my apartment today. After a TON of help from Justine both last night and this morning (she was packing and cleaning for me while I was at work and then while I was sleeping off the shift). I have never had such a dedicated and caring friend. And I gotta say that after living in that place for three years, I have never seen it cleaner. Which might be sad.
Anyway, I have packed my storage space pretty much to capacity. It was amazing to see how much we could pack in there. Yesterday was a freaking long-ass day. I woke up about 6:30 to pack the hotel room and get breakfast before Carey, Dad Mimi and I drove to Ypsilanti to meet up with Brian (my ex) at 9am to then drive back to Milwaukee. Brian wanted me to drive much of the way, and I actually really enjoyed being on the road with him. He is a total sweetheart. Then we got back at about 2:30. I continued organizing and packing until I picked up my Uhaul and proceeded to work my ass off with Justine and Mike until about 8pm, loading shit in my storage space in the Valley and then in Rosey (my future roommate)'s garage. Finally, J and i grabbed Chipotle and I went to work. Closing the bar was a bit difficult being as tired as I was, but Brian totally made it easier. He was tired and grumpy too, so we were just bitching and grumbling about people all night long. Misery does LOVE company. I made good money though, so it all worked out. We are going to have to talk to Jared about his alcohol consumption though. There was an incident last night that just about puched me and Brian over the edge. And he is an employee, he shouldnt be doing stuff like he did.
Right now I am enjoying some long-missed internet at Mike's place at Humphrey Hall. I am crashing at his place before I can stay at my new place tomorrow. Till then!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
They've all left me...
Well, this morning Dad, Carey, Mimi, and Grandpa and Mae-Mae Thomas went back to Michigan. About 11am Dee came by to say goodbye. Many hugs. About 1pm Will finished getting some of the bigger things into the garbage (that gigantic recliner couch was a giant pain) and just now Justine came by to drop off a box of alcohol before she headed home. So... Here I am...
I think I have been more worried about being lonely than actually sad about my friends leaving. The reality is that I will be seeing all of them again soon, to be sure. But at the same time, there are just things that I want to say, that I dont know that I did. I want to remind Justine not to take herself too seriously. I want to remind Will that he is capable of anything if he gets off his ass. I want to remind Dee that she is the best friend anyone could ever ask for, and that I am simply not deserving of such dedication.
This last week has been intense. I havent written in a while, mostly because I have wanted to soak up what I could. I still do want to live this for a little while before I fully process it. I will certainly have to catch things up, starting with my family's trip to the gay bars last night.
Anyway, my apartment no longer has internet, so I am going to have to compose my messages somewhere else, which is kinda crappy. But I should be set up again in about two weeks. I love you my friends, thank you so much for making my life worth living. You inspire me, and make me want to become a better person, a person deserving of such incredible human beings. More later... as always.
I think I have been more worried about being lonely than actually sad about my friends leaving. The reality is that I will be seeing all of them again soon, to be sure. But at the same time, there are just things that I want to say, that I dont know that I did. I want to remind Justine not to take herself too seriously. I want to remind Will that he is capable of anything if he gets off his ass. I want to remind Dee that she is the best friend anyone could ever ask for, and that I am simply not deserving of such dedication.
This last week has been intense. I havent written in a while, mostly because I have wanted to soak up what I could. I still do want to live this for a little while before I fully process it. I will certainly have to catch things up, starting with my family's trip to the gay bars last night.
Anyway, my apartment no longer has internet, so I am going to have to compose my messages somewhere else, which is kinda crappy. But I should be set up again in about two weeks. I love you my friends, thank you so much for making my life worth living. You inspire me, and make me want to become a better person, a person deserving of such incredible human beings. More later... as always.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Saturday, May 14, 2005
So much ground to cover...
Geez... What an incredibly good week. This has been a lot of fun. I am finally getting to relax completely and just chill... pulling out old video games and reaquanting with old friends.
Tuesday night I ended up staying out till about 1pm with Will. Went to the Harp for the first time. Great location, but the prices sucked a lot. Who doesnt have a special on a Tuesday night? The next morning I woke about 6:30 to do a little pre-study for my 8am PR exam. Turns out I focused on two things that I had no idea about (Crisis Comm and something else) and they ended up being our essays. What kinda luck is that? Cool! Then back to nap and chill. The Director of Admissions at St. Thomas called and told me that if I did the math on what would make them even with Depaul, they could swing it. The math came to 19.5, so I just said 20. She had also mentioned creating another Roach (public service) fellowship for me. That would be AWESOME!!! I dont know if I mentioned it, but about a month back I came in third for two fellowships offered. I had really wanted it.
We had received a last-minute email from Public Affairs saying that the MU Board of Trustees had gone into a last-minute session to discuss the reaction over the mascot name. I wandered around the union for a little bit trying to gather what info I could. And at about 1pm I got a phone call from Alumni Relations. At 2pm they were to announce that the board had reversed itself!!! Yippee!!! This was SUCH a personal victory for me. The phone call was essentially asking me to "call off the dogs" because I was one of the principle figures in the fight against this move (their words, not mine). So we won. Kick ass. I am so proud of that move. It takes guts to swallow something like that. Good for them.
So then I went and met a guy for gay-counseling. Turns out to be someone I totally had a minute-long crush on because of his particular music ability. After chatting for about an hour at the Grand Ave Mall, Justine picked us up and all three of us went to see "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" at Mayfair. It was HORRIBLE! Made me sad because the books were so good. Later that night, Justine, Will, McPheters and I played poker while doing a power hour. Holy Drunkeness! I beat Will head to head in poker, which was a treat, and then we went to Caff's. I saw my new gay friend there, and I made a point to hang around him with his other friends, just so he knew that I wasnt going to reveal him and that he could be comfortable. For some reason this whole thing reminds me somewhat of Dan Hite back before I went to Venezuela... Hmmm... Wish he would return my emails. Whatever. This guy is going to be here all summer, so I am trying to hook him up with some new friends. He is totally innocent... Wow.
Dont remember coming home that night... Justine told me that I took a limo. I guess i somewhat recall that. ;-) After nursing my hangover Thursday, I took my Spanish Grammar final absolutely cold. I hadn't even opened the book. Hehe. My final essay ended up being about the Final Four trip down to New Orleans, and the IHOP stuffed french toast, how we all got sick, and how beer was the solution to all of life's problems. Great way to end that class. That was it. Right there, I finished. Unbelievable. It's hard to put my arms around that concept.
Later that day, the Dean of the Law School (Thomas Mengler) sent me a very very flattering email saying that they had, indeed, created the Fellowship for me. Holy Shit. I am going to law school for free! How have I done this AGAIN? I should write a book. That settles that I guess. St. Thomas it is (again).
At this moment, I just got the feeling that this, my remaining time here, is rapidly slipping through my fingers. There can be no doubt that I have really focused on being with my friends this semester, but I wish that I were able to book people back-to-back right now to say goodbye. To say I love them. I just realized that all the underclassmen have largely left ALREADY. What do I do about that. How did I miss that? Makes my heart ache. These next weeks are going to be... straining.
Anyway, Thursday night, I stayed in with Justine. The weather sucked, and after all the partying that we had done the rest of the week, it was good to let the liver rest. J and I just sat and watched a movie, I cleaned and we just chatted. It was more or less us just being together for lack of other interests. She is getting a bit involved with an old friend of mine (Chuck Bluett) and I couldnt be happier for them both. He is one of the nicest people i know. Plus he's hot.
I just got a phone call from one of my best friends in the world, Kiley from Venezuela. It was wonderful to catch up. We had been playing phone tag pretty much all semester. Finally she caught me. She sounds fantastic. Same ol Kiley. I adore that girl.
As for yesterday, I was a slug, played video games until nearly 6pm, when Justine, Danielle, Will and I went to the fish fry at Turner's. Good friends. Good food. Bad service. I love that we are the crowd that will still tip big though. Then I went to work. Wierd feeling in the air, but our rings were incredible, and we were close to capacity most of the night. Lots of flirting, not too much drama. Bonded with Jared. Told Dee to stop making fun of my dancing. Tried to hook up with Franco after work. Didnt work out. Took a cab (great cabbie!) home and played poker with Will, Nate and Jimmy (his friends) until about 6am. Shit. Why am I awake? I am going back to bed now.
Work tonight 5-9, then the BagBoyz photo shoot at 10pm... I sent out an email to the Boyz and Saun and his boss about my complaints (adding to the responses of Jeremiah)... May be a bit awkward tonight. Whatever. My complaints were legit. Whatever... I could walk away at this point and not feel all too guilty.
Tuesday night I ended up staying out till about 1pm with Will. Went to the Harp for the first time. Great location, but the prices sucked a lot. Who doesnt have a special on a Tuesday night? The next morning I woke about 6:30 to do a little pre-study for my 8am PR exam. Turns out I focused on two things that I had no idea about (Crisis Comm and something else) and they ended up being our essays. What kinda luck is that? Cool! Then back to nap and chill. The Director of Admissions at St. Thomas called and told me that if I did the math on what would make them even with Depaul, they could swing it. The math came to 19.5, so I just said 20. She had also mentioned creating another Roach (public service) fellowship for me. That would be AWESOME!!! I dont know if I mentioned it, but about a month back I came in third for two fellowships offered. I had really wanted it.
We had received a last-minute email from Public Affairs saying that the MU Board of Trustees had gone into a last-minute session to discuss the reaction over the mascot name. I wandered around the union for a little bit trying to gather what info I could. And at about 1pm I got a phone call from Alumni Relations. At 2pm they were to announce that the board had reversed itself!!! Yippee!!! This was SUCH a personal victory for me. The phone call was essentially asking me to "call off the dogs" because I was one of the principle figures in the fight against this move (their words, not mine). So we won. Kick ass. I am so proud of that move. It takes guts to swallow something like that. Good for them.
So then I went and met a guy for gay-counseling. Turns out to be someone I totally had a minute-long crush on because of his particular music ability. After chatting for about an hour at the Grand Ave Mall, Justine picked us up and all three of us went to see "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" at Mayfair. It was HORRIBLE! Made me sad because the books were so good. Later that night, Justine, Will, McPheters and I played poker while doing a power hour. Holy Drunkeness! I beat Will head to head in poker, which was a treat, and then we went to Caff's. I saw my new gay friend there, and I made a point to hang around him with his other friends, just so he knew that I wasnt going to reveal him and that he could be comfortable. For some reason this whole thing reminds me somewhat of Dan Hite back before I went to Venezuela... Hmmm... Wish he would return my emails. Whatever. This guy is going to be here all summer, so I am trying to hook him up with some new friends. He is totally innocent... Wow.
Dont remember coming home that night... Justine told me that I took a limo. I guess i somewhat recall that. ;-) After nursing my hangover Thursday, I took my Spanish Grammar final absolutely cold. I hadn't even opened the book. Hehe. My final essay ended up being about the Final Four trip down to New Orleans, and the IHOP stuffed french toast, how we all got sick, and how beer was the solution to all of life's problems. Great way to end that class. That was it. Right there, I finished. Unbelievable. It's hard to put my arms around that concept.
Later that day, the Dean of the Law School (Thomas Mengler) sent me a very very flattering email saying that they had, indeed, created the Fellowship for me. Holy Shit. I am going to law school for free! How have I done this AGAIN? I should write a book. That settles that I guess. St. Thomas it is (again).
At this moment, I just got the feeling that this, my remaining time here, is rapidly slipping through my fingers. There can be no doubt that I have really focused on being with my friends this semester, but I wish that I were able to book people back-to-back right now to say goodbye. To say I love them. I just realized that all the underclassmen have largely left ALREADY. What do I do about that. How did I miss that? Makes my heart ache. These next weeks are going to be... straining.
Anyway, Thursday night, I stayed in with Justine. The weather sucked, and after all the partying that we had done the rest of the week, it was good to let the liver rest. J and I just sat and watched a movie, I cleaned and we just chatted. It was more or less us just being together for lack of other interests. She is getting a bit involved with an old friend of mine (Chuck Bluett) and I couldnt be happier for them both. He is one of the nicest people i know. Plus he's hot.
I just got a phone call from one of my best friends in the world, Kiley from Venezuela. It was wonderful to catch up. We had been playing phone tag pretty much all semester. Finally she caught me. She sounds fantastic. Same ol Kiley. I adore that girl.
As for yesterday, I was a slug, played video games until nearly 6pm, when Justine, Danielle, Will and I went to the fish fry at Turner's. Good friends. Good food. Bad service. I love that we are the crowd that will still tip big though. Then I went to work. Wierd feeling in the air, but our rings were incredible, and we were close to capacity most of the night. Lots of flirting, not too much drama. Bonded with Jared. Told Dee to stop making fun of my dancing. Tried to hook up with Franco after work. Didnt work out. Took a cab (great cabbie!) home and played poker with Will, Nate and Jimmy (his friends) until about 6am. Shit. Why am I awake? I am going back to bed now.
Work tonight 5-9, then the BagBoyz photo shoot at 10pm... I sent out an email to the Boyz and Saun and his boss about my complaints (adding to the responses of Jeremiah)... May be a bit awkward tonight. Whatever. My complaints were legit. Whatever... I could walk away at this point and not feel all too guilty.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Today it is St. Thomas. Tomorrow???
Okay, so after talking with Justine today, and getting a phone call from a current student at St. Thomas, I just feel that once again St. Thomas is the right choice. Justine made a good point. My family will continue to be close no matter what my decision. Minneapolis might not offer me the constant contact with my sister, and might be harder for my father, but I already know that I dont want to live in Chicago (at least that is how I feel right now). I shouldnt let the logical factors that push me towards Depaul override the feeling that St. Thomas gives me of just being "right." Justine pointed out that everytime I mention Depaul, my evaluations are half-hearted and luk-warm. She says it isnt the way I raved about St. Thomas after my visits there. She is right. So that's how I feel today.
Woke up about 4am in a stuffier than hell apartment, and started to write my final critical writing piece. 7am came quicker than I anticipated, so I had to cut four of the restaurants I wanted to review. Oh well. It will get me a passing grade at least. Whatever. I am so over all this. When I got home from Depaul last night I went to hegarty's to pick up a package I had delivered there. I ran into Chuck and his friend Dan, and they pretty much forced me to have a beer with them. We ended up drinking there until 9pm when we went to Caffrey's. I just ran upstairs to change out of my clothes which were soaked from the random rain storms that had caught me outside waiting for the bus. Anyway, ended up drinking a ton at Caff's, but still got home about 11pm. Oh, and I am pretty sure I drunk dialed Jamie from this last weekend. I think I dig him. Hope he calls. If he doesnt, I got a nice belt out of the deal. ;-)
The visit to Depaul that day had been good. I had to wake up way too early to catch the train down, and then Aunt Beth took me out for breakfast (really good frittata). We ended up driving downtown with Uncle Matt, and Aunt B and I walked ALL over getting some stuff done for her, and trying to see the campus housing and everything. Finally, at 2pm, I had my appointment with Dean Burns. A couple of thoughts: everyone I met at Depaul was Jewish... I talked to a group of students, Burns himself, and he mentioned that "like 95% of the prof" were. Wow... So much for the catholic school. He had a really hard time talking to me about the spiritual aspect of their education. In fact, he almost couldnt do it. The school itself is, well, dingy. Everything could use a paint job, the elevators are from the 60s, as are the classrooms. It doesnt sell itself with anything distinctive, other than a wall of judge-graduates, but that is hardly memorable, just impressive. But I have never been one to be impressed by "impressive": I am impressed by culture, art, diversity. And windows. I am impressed by windows. Depaul's classrooms don't have them.
Now granted, I guess that they are starting to renovate all these things. And if I went to Depaul, I could easily create a checklist of things to improve to attract higher level students (including re-training the dean). But the fact that those sort of things are not a priority now... I just dont know. On the other hand, their median LSAT for this incoming class (mine) is a 160... That's f'in impressive.
As for today, after I handed in a semi-incomplete final project, I watched a healthy bit of television, then got Jerry (the maitenance guy) to remove the sealer on the windows so that we could open them. And not a moment too soon, I was suffocating in here. Then went to a health services appointment about the worsening itching I got. After that, Margaritas and BBQ with Christina and Nora at Christina's so we could study (ha!) for our PR final. Mostly we sat around and talked about how much we didnt care. I love chilling with those two. Then back here, naptime, and now I am going to go out with Will to Mel's. I have set my alarm for tomorrow, so at least I will show up to my 8am exam. Whatever.
Woke up about 4am in a stuffier than hell apartment, and started to write my final critical writing piece. 7am came quicker than I anticipated, so I had to cut four of the restaurants I wanted to review. Oh well. It will get me a passing grade at least. Whatever. I am so over all this. When I got home from Depaul last night I went to hegarty's to pick up a package I had delivered there. I ran into Chuck and his friend Dan, and they pretty much forced me to have a beer with them. We ended up drinking there until 9pm when we went to Caffrey's. I just ran upstairs to change out of my clothes which were soaked from the random rain storms that had caught me outside waiting for the bus. Anyway, ended up drinking a ton at Caff's, but still got home about 11pm. Oh, and I am pretty sure I drunk dialed Jamie from this last weekend. I think I dig him. Hope he calls. If he doesnt, I got a nice belt out of the deal. ;-)
The visit to Depaul that day had been good. I had to wake up way too early to catch the train down, and then Aunt Beth took me out for breakfast (really good frittata). We ended up driving downtown with Uncle Matt, and Aunt B and I walked ALL over getting some stuff done for her, and trying to see the campus housing and everything. Finally, at 2pm, I had my appointment with Dean Burns. A couple of thoughts: everyone I met at Depaul was Jewish... I talked to a group of students, Burns himself, and he mentioned that "like 95% of the prof" were. Wow... So much for the catholic school. He had a really hard time talking to me about the spiritual aspect of their education. In fact, he almost couldnt do it. The school itself is, well, dingy. Everything could use a paint job, the elevators are from the 60s, as are the classrooms. It doesnt sell itself with anything distinctive, other than a wall of judge-graduates, but that is hardly memorable, just impressive. But I have never been one to be impressed by "impressive": I am impressed by culture, art, diversity. And windows. I am impressed by windows. Depaul's classrooms don't have them.
Now granted, I guess that they are starting to renovate all these things. And if I went to Depaul, I could easily create a checklist of things to improve to attract higher level students (including re-training the dean). But the fact that those sort of things are not a priority now... I just dont know. On the other hand, their median LSAT for this incoming class (mine) is a 160... That's f'in impressive.
As for today, after I handed in a semi-incomplete final project, I watched a healthy bit of television, then got Jerry (the maitenance guy) to remove the sealer on the windows so that we could open them. And not a moment too soon, I was suffocating in here. Then went to a health services appointment about the worsening itching I got. After that, Margaritas and BBQ with Christina and Nora at Christina's so we could study (ha!) for our PR final. Mostly we sat around and talked about how much we didnt care. I love chilling with those two. Then back here, naptime, and now I am going to go out with Will to Mel's. I have set my alarm for tomorrow, so at least I will show up to my 8am exam. Whatever.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Happy Dead Mother's Day!
Chatting with my dear friend right now. Her Mom is dead too. We have fun with that.
Had a good time last night. For awhile it seemed like all the hot guys had boyfriends, and I am totally a hater about that concept. I had two marks who both turned up with significant others. Part of my brain goes, "So?"
First I was chilling with the music man (Tobey) and his friends (who thought I was straight! I have been chatting with those guys for months!), then Tom and Mike, then later I hung out with internet boy and his boyfriend for a bit. Franco ended up showing, but I was totally getting the "give me my space vibe." So I ended up on the dance floor with Drew and his BF. Notice how many boyfriends I have mentioned already? Damn. I thought spring was supposed to be breakup season. I was informed last night that I missed it, and the boys are onto the "coupling" season. Crap. That's the last time I go a year without the Gay Almanac.
Anyway, I ended up taking home a new friend. He and I had made out back in February that one snowy night that Bill let me close on my own. It was such a struggle then, cause barclose came, and he and a couple other guys were hanging out, and I had to kick them out, but as i followed them out to lock the door, this guy turned around and we made out a little bit. Anyway, I guess patience pays off. He is graduating this year too, moving back into town, intelligent, visits his mother on Mother's day, and is just this little hottie. And by little I mean I can pick him up when we make out. That's just hot. He said he is coming back at 2pm... Then I'll let him drive me to work. ;-)
I have one final project to do for my Critical Writing class, and I will admit that I am totally procrastinating again. I am SO going to have to pull a drunken all nighter on Monday night. Here are my next 48 hours: work 4-9 tonight, 8am tomorrow train to Chicago. Drive back around 6pm with Justine. Beer club 9-12pm. Then the paper is due by 6am on Tuesday. Hmmm... I guess if I do the interviews by phone today, start it after work tonight, write on the train... And I only need like a C anyway... I did the math yesterday. If I got the As that I anticipate in Ethics and Theology, then I just need to pass my other courses to hang onto Magna Cum Laude. Cum. hahahaha... I'm so 12 years old.
Had a good time last night. For awhile it seemed like all the hot guys had boyfriends, and I am totally a hater about that concept. I had two marks who both turned up with significant others. Part of my brain goes, "So?"
First I was chilling with the music man (Tobey) and his friends (who thought I was straight! I have been chatting with those guys for months!), then Tom and Mike, then later I hung out with internet boy and his boyfriend for a bit. Franco ended up showing, but I was totally getting the "give me my space vibe." So I ended up on the dance floor with Drew and his BF. Notice how many boyfriends I have mentioned already? Damn. I thought spring was supposed to be breakup season. I was informed last night that I missed it, and the boys are onto the "coupling" season. Crap. That's the last time I go a year without the Gay Almanac.
Anyway, I ended up taking home a new friend. He and I had made out back in February that one snowy night that Bill let me close on my own. It was such a struggle then, cause barclose came, and he and a couple other guys were hanging out, and I had to kick them out, but as i followed them out to lock the door, this guy turned around and we made out a little bit. Anyway, I guess patience pays off. He is graduating this year too, moving back into town, intelligent, visits his mother on Mother's day, and is just this little hottie. And by little I mean I can pick him up when we make out. That's just hot. He said he is coming back at 2pm... Then I'll let him drive me to work. ;-)
I have one final project to do for my Critical Writing class, and I will admit that I am totally procrastinating again. I am SO going to have to pull a drunken all nighter on Monday night. Here are my next 48 hours: work 4-9 tonight, 8am tomorrow train to Chicago. Drive back around 6pm with Justine. Beer club 9-12pm. Then the paper is due by 6am on Tuesday. Hmmm... I guess if I do the interviews by phone today, start it after work tonight, write on the train... And I only need like a C anyway... I did the math yesterday. If I got the As that I anticipate in Ethics and Theology, then I just need to pass my other courses to hang onto Magna Cum Laude. Cum. hahahaha... I'm so 12 years old.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Gold? How the hell am I supposed to be an adjective?
Well, it has certainly been an interesting couple of days. Wednesday would have been completely uneventfull had it not been the name change... The Marquette board of trustees were to decide if we should keep our athletic nickname of the Golden Eagles, or revert it to the one from ten years ago, the Warriors. An announcement was made about this issue which has occupied WAY TOO MUCH of student attention for the last year, and we will now be called the Marquette Gold! ??? What? What the Fuck is that?
Students were extremely upset. It was funny, yesterday I was on facebook, and there are like 30 student groups that hate the nickname. Will and I were actually so pissed off about it that we wrote on t-shirts and went to start a protest. We went through the library, and everyone lovedour shirts (mine read: Gold? WTF) Anyway, we ended up in front of the Union, and people started to join us, and before you know it there must have been a hundred students there shouting and cheering. (granted I think other people sent out emails and blogs to make the protest happen, but we were definitely leading it) Anyway, I ended up climbing the Orgasm statue in front of the union and yelling to the crowd. Totally felt like that scene from Newsies. The crowd kept getting bigger, and somehow a couch got involved, and we ended up marching to the Jes Res, then the Library, then back to the union. It was all a useless gesture, but it at least proves that students are pissed off. We got in all the major news and that was cool. It is amazing though, as one friend pointed out, that students couldnt get mobilized over the war in Iraq, and yet they are willing to protest this. I think mostly that this feels much closer to home. There is another protest today at noon. Right when I am getting my voice back too.
The only other major development in life is that Depaul came back with an offer. A damn good offer. 25+20+20. Leaves only 16 to pay. That kinda blew away St.Thomas with the figures I had, which left me with 30 there. That's a huge difference. Plus a MAJOR factor is Carey being at Loyola of Chicago next year. I dont think that most people understand the connection I have, and need to have, with my sister. To live in the same city with her again would be unbelievably cool. And yet my heart draws me to St. Thomas. I feel like I want a fresh start again. Not for the same reasons as after high school, but more just because I like the opportunities in self-improvement that new communities present. And I have just felt so spiritually attracted to St. Thomas and Minneapolis. I would have to work harder at St.Thomas because they are less established, but the mark I could make would be more profound.
Pray on that. I am going to visit Depaul on Monday. That means my weekend needs to be a little more work intensive, but whatever.
I wonder if Franco will be around tonight? I work all weekend again. First time I will see Bill since I confronted him on Sunday. He isnt good at face to face confrontation, and he didnt call, so I have to presume that he is over it. Guess I will find out tonight... Hopefully my new bar clothes will come in the mail today. Okay, time to get some real things done.
Students were extremely upset. It was funny, yesterday I was on facebook, and there are like 30 student groups that hate the nickname. Will and I were actually so pissed off about it that we wrote on t-shirts and went to start a protest. We went through the library, and everyone lovedour shirts (mine read: Gold? WTF) Anyway, we ended up in front of the Union, and people started to join us, and before you know it there must have been a hundred students there shouting and cheering. (granted I think other people sent out emails and blogs to make the protest happen, but we were definitely leading it) Anyway, I ended up climbing the Orgasm statue in front of the union and yelling to the crowd. Totally felt like that scene from Newsies. The crowd kept getting bigger, and somehow a couch got involved, and we ended up marching to the Jes Res, then the Library, then back to the union. It was all a useless gesture, but it at least proves that students are pissed off. We got in all the major news and that was cool. It is amazing though, as one friend pointed out, that students couldnt get mobilized over the war in Iraq, and yet they are willing to protest this. I think mostly that this feels much closer to home. There is another protest today at noon. Right when I am getting my voice back too.
The only other major development in life is that Depaul came back with an offer. A damn good offer. 25+20+20. Leaves only 16 to pay. That kinda blew away St.Thomas with the figures I had, which left me with 30 there. That's a huge difference. Plus a MAJOR factor is Carey being at Loyola of Chicago next year. I dont think that most people understand the connection I have, and need to have, with my sister. To live in the same city with her again would be unbelievably cool. And yet my heart draws me to St. Thomas. I feel like I want a fresh start again. Not for the same reasons as after high school, but more just because I like the opportunities in self-improvement that new communities present. And I have just felt so spiritually attracted to St. Thomas and Minneapolis. I would have to work harder at St.Thomas because they are less established, but the mark I could make would be more profound.
Pray on that. I am going to visit Depaul on Monday. That means my weekend needs to be a little more work intensive, but whatever.
I wonder if Franco will be around tonight? I work all weekend again. First time I will see Bill since I confronted him on Sunday. He isnt good at face to face confrontation, and he didnt call, so I have to presume that he is over it. Guess I will find out tonight... Hopefully my new bar clothes will come in the mail today. Okay, time to get some real things done.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Call on me...
I finally got my Porn paper finalized. It took about four hours today to solidify the last few pages, edit it, and compile the page and a half of bibliography. Quite honestly, I can't think of any other work I have done through college that I am as proud of. It was really something. Pretty much the last major effort of my undergrad career. Today I also got the Budweiser press conference done, and our group was undoubtly the best. We were well prepared, I designed a great press kit, and our answers were damn good. I decided not to write my Critical writing paper (a 700 word research paper on La Boheme). Then I had a few beers before my Oral Proficiency exam. I know I am capable of far better than I performed, but I seriously dont care. I did fine, and it is out of a total of 5 points. Whatever. Got a couple of small things to take care of as the week heads on... But hell... This is it. Not much left to do at this point. Wow. Part of me wants to stay up all night just because I can. I am defintely going to start a book. Yeah! I so deserve this time. Amen. Alleluia. Thank you God!
Monday, May 02, 2005
What is it all about?
I, waiting. Okay, so Im drunk. Fair enough. But I am waiting for that boy. I have my shit together, but I am waiting for that guy that will complete what I am working for. I have never seen myself alone, and yet tonight I was out with friends that I see alone, they are alone, and I am alone. But I am not meant to be alone. That's the thing. I started sobbing on my walk home. To see everything (drunk) as it should be before everyone leaves who is important to me. I am confused. I am drunk. I am going to bed.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...
It's a little after 10pm, and I have all sorts of work to do for the week. Once again I am sitting here, contemplating the fact that tomorrow I start my last week of classes at Marquette. I am graduating. I am moving. My friends will be leaving, and I am now, just now, really starting to get it.
I went out last night after work to join Justine and Danielle and a few others at La Perla. Kendra was there. I hadnt seen her in ages. I know that she is dissapointed that I am not the friend she was hoping for. We have just grown apart, and I let that happen. That's gotta be okay. But just hanging out with her on Saturday made me really feel it. Here is this person that I was friends with, who meant a lot to me, and we will be moving on in a few short weeks, and we wont be friends anymore. What do I do about that?
I guess that I just need to be grateful for the moments that we had. For the times that she was an incredible friend to me. For the hope that she will have her every wish fulfilled in life.
I can't help but feel a little bit lonely. I want someone's arms to curl up in, who I can know will not be leaving me, who will be with me through these transitions. And funny, I think I could have that person if I would let it happen, but I know that this, how I am feeling right now, is just a moment, a moment that will pass as I go through the next weeks and really enjoy my goodbyes.
Still no word on Senior Speaker. Good God. I just want to know.
I have been dealing with an unbelievable amount of itching and my skin is bubbling up around my hands. I went to the doctor, and I have an allergic reaction to something. I got a cream that should take care of the cause, but the itching could persist for up to 3 weeks. Great. That's just what I need.
Bill and I had a bit of a confrontation at the bar last night. I have been doing SOOOO well for him, and I heard from another source that he has hired someone on for Monday nights (a shift that I normally work). I dont object to the new hire, he's a friend of mine, but I totally feel like I was shafted by taking a shift I expected to work all summer away from me. I am sure it is just miscommunication, but that doesnt help me make any money this summer.
Friday I had sent out an email to Prof. Hernandez, telling him I was really resentful of the way he addressed me in class on Wednesday (essentially blaming me for other stuff going on in the class). He sent me three emails to apologize. They were very sincere, and I totally feel better about things now. Water under the bridge I guess.
So where am I now? Tired. Scared. Wishing I had more time with my friends. Wondering where the time all went. Hoping that I dont have to grow up too fast. Maybe if I dont get these final projects done, they wont let me graduate, and I can keep things the way they are? I don't think so.
Ahhh... "Where the Streets Have no Name" just came on my mp3 player. There isnt any more emblematic song for my career here. The rush of the start of the basketball games. The cheering with the best friends I could hope for. The feeling that we can take on the world. The knowledge that we will have to do just that.
I went out last night after work to join Justine and Danielle and a few others at La Perla. Kendra was there. I hadnt seen her in ages. I know that she is dissapointed that I am not the friend she was hoping for. We have just grown apart, and I let that happen. That's gotta be okay. But just hanging out with her on Saturday made me really feel it. Here is this person that I was friends with, who meant a lot to me, and we will be moving on in a few short weeks, and we wont be friends anymore. What do I do about that?
I guess that I just need to be grateful for the moments that we had. For the times that she was an incredible friend to me. For the hope that she will have her every wish fulfilled in life.
I can't help but feel a little bit lonely. I want someone's arms to curl up in, who I can know will not be leaving me, who will be with me through these transitions. And funny, I think I could have that person if I would let it happen, but I know that this, how I am feeling right now, is just a moment, a moment that will pass as I go through the next weeks and really enjoy my goodbyes.
Still no word on Senior Speaker. Good God. I just want to know.
I have been dealing with an unbelievable amount of itching and my skin is bubbling up around my hands. I went to the doctor, and I have an allergic reaction to something. I got a cream that should take care of the cause, but the itching could persist for up to 3 weeks. Great. That's just what I need.
Bill and I had a bit of a confrontation at the bar last night. I have been doing SOOOO well for him, and I heard from another source that he has hired someone on for Monday nights (a shift that I normally work). I dont object to the new hire, he's a friend of mine, but I totally feel like I was shafted by taking a shift I expected to work all summer away from me. I am sure it is just miscommunication, but that doesnt help me make any money this summer.
Friday I had sent out an email to Prof. Hernandez, telling him I was really resentful of the way he addressed me in class on Wednesday (essentially blaming me for other stuff going on in the class). He sent me three emails to apologize. They were very sincere, and I totally feel better about things now. Water under the bridge I guess.
So where am I now? Tired. Scared. Wishing I had more time with my friends. Wondering where the time all went. Hoping that I dont have to grow up too fast. Maybe if I dont get these final projects done, they wont let me graduate, and I can keep things the way they are? I don't think so.
Ahhh... "Where the Streets Have no Name" just came on my mp3 player. There isnt any more emblematic song for my career here. The rush of the start of the basketball games. The cheering with the best friends I could hope for. The feeling that we can take on the world. The knowledge that we will have to do just that.
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