Thursday, May 18, 2006

Wierd...

Sooo.... Last week I had gone out dancing with Anthony and then went home and ate an obscene amount of Thai food in bed and then went to sleep... Woke up the next morning barely able to move, my back hurt so badly. Finally went to my father's chiropractor today, and went through all my physical activities from that day. Turns out it was the food of all things... Ive always thought that chiropractors were all mumbo-jumbo, but somehow they know how to make things feel better. Apparently my back got screwed up by overworking my digestive system while I slept. He popped a couple things and I feel way better. Nice. The food thing is wierd though, never thought Thai could screw up my back...

Anywho, I am back in Michigan now for the time being. Its been uber-relaxing, and nice to get away from things for awhile. I have just been chilling with the family, making meals, watching TV and working on my submission for the law journal. This thing is really long and I have been chipping away at it for a week now. Yuck. Im not sure my submission is even going to be that good, but it will at least be a "good faith effort" in case I am on the honor role again. I just dont have the energy to put forth much more about now.

I made a really good meal on Monday night for the dinner group Dad has: Spicy corn soup with spinach ricotta dumplings and zuchini cakes. It was a lot of work but my sister helped with a lot of it. Turned out great though.

I am heading to Chicago on Friday or Saturday to visit friends, then back to Minneapolis to chill for a week before I start my new job. I will have 3 chapters of a book I am editing for a prof waiting for me when I get back, but other than that I can largely relax for the week (still). Nice!

Friday, May 12, 2006

"You're so drama"

I went out to one of my favorite bars on Tuesday to celebrate our last Bar Review and the fact that we had all made it through finals. Yeehaaw! Anyway, I danced it up and had a blast, but a friend said something that bothered me. I hadnt seen her in a while cause I have kinda cut ties with her group for my own reasons. But it was good to see her, and we started to chat outside for a little bit. At one point I was apologizing for falling off the face of the planet, but alluded to the fact that I had a falling out with her sister. She then looks at me and says, "Well Christian, you are a lot of drama" as if that should help me to understand the whole thing...

I have been told a few times (always by straight people with very little "gay" in their lives) that i am "drama." Ive decided that this pisses me off. While this might lead one to the conclusion that I am INDEED drama, I am fairly confident that I am not. I am very chill, go with the flow, and generally get along with everyone. My friend's have always credited me with "telling it like it is." So why would I be labeled "drama?" This girl's rationale, "You often walk into a room with a 'You'll never guess what happened to me the other night...' thing going on." Funny, I didnt think that was drama, just good storytelling.

What this tells me is one of two things. Either a) she doesnt want to hear my stories, which I thought were generally enjoyable or, b) she doesnt mean "drama" she means "gay."

I wonder if she looks at any of her other male friends and calls them "drama." I can think of a few who are reasonably much more drama than I could ever be. I try not to jump to conclusions, but it really feels like an attack on who I am rather than what I do. Whether that's me "being drama" or just being gay, Im not sure, but I hate it either way. It's like looking at a black man and calling him "gangsta." It's an offhand comment based on some stereotype you hold about people. Seriously, after that short interaction I have no interest in talking to this person again any time soon. Perhaps that's drama, or perhaps that's just self-respect.

I recently ended my therapy at the school. One of the major focuses was that I was bottling up stuff that I felt like I didnt want to burden my friends with. This girl sheds a little light on why I might have felt I needed to.
*****************************************************

As for the end of finals, it has been magnificent to get my life back. I have spent the last few days catching up with friends, doing major spring cleaning, doing some dating, and recovering from a dancing related injury. I went out dancing with Anthony on Wednesday at the Townhouse, had a blast, saw a lot of really hot guys, danced a bunch, and was home by 1:30 relatively sober. It was a good time. Yesterday morning I woke up, barely able to move. My lower back was SO sore. I must have hurt it doing something... Hmmm... Signs Im getting old for 100 Alex.

My last exam, Con Law, ended up pretty well I think. There were three essays and I felt prepared in answering all of them. The last of the essays was on the Constitutional arguments of "Don't ask, Don't tell," which is kinda a specialty of mine. Of all the "gay" issues, this is the one I am knowledgeable about. So it was nice to just be able to turn on the auto-pilot for that segment and know that I was going far above the Profs expectations on that one.

So now life continues. Home tomorrow for a little over a week. It'll be great to see the family. Then a week off before work starts. Im starting to date a bit which feels good. Life is good. I made it through the hardest year of the hardest part of my education. Sweet!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Very Reverend Robert Taylor

So I was just spending 20 minutes wasting time perusing the news, and I saw that the Episcopalian church in California is considering 3 gay candidates for its new Bishop... I was just reading along, when I recognized a name... the Very Reverend Robert Taylor! I met him at the end of my sophomore year when he came to Marquette with Archbishop Desmond Tutu as part of the emerging leaders foundation. I remember thinking the guy was just amazing, and quite exceptional to be coming to our campus, openly gay, supported by Desmond Tutu, and walking down the center aisle of Gesu in his rainbow scarf-thingy (I used to know all those words).

Anyway, now he is in the running to be the second openly gay Bishop EVER! How cool! Im such a fan! Gotta love those Episcopalians!

Friday, May 05, 2006

An interesting retrospective...

So I was reading through my blog going through and updating my "little black book" as best as possible, trying to see where "my number" is nowadays... Anyway I came along this passage regarding last semester's Contracts final:

"I did my best, although I am fairly sure that I bombed one of the sections because I didnt understand what the prof was looking for. Ouch. I knew the info but..."

I was sure that I had failed the damn thing, and had ridden myself pretty hard about that. Turns out I got an A- in the class. Something to think about given my current feelings about my performance in Crim. Everyone who has been through this is telling me not to let those retrospective, hindsight "I should have done..." feelings get to me. They are probably right. Something to remember.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Chinese Food Makes up for Everything

Yesterday was kinda rough. I had my Criminal Law exam, and I felt under prepared walking into it. Ironically, that wasn’t my problem. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the right amount of information, it was that I didn’t know how to properly synthesize the stuff… I finished the exam with twenty minutes to spare, and thought I had really hit everything I needed to… Then listening to people talk about it afterward, I realized that I missed some very very major points.

In retrospect, I remember feeling a bit of the same way about my Civil Procedure exam, and it turns out that I got one of the highest grades in that class. But I highly doubt that will be the outcome here. I just didn’t have it, and I know it.

I suffered a bit of a headtrip about the whole thing yesterday about the whole thing. I have been on the Dean’s List, so I have that to lose, and I am substantially certain that I lost that yesterday. It means almost nothing, and the big picture of the thing is not as severe as I would have made it. The honest reality: I probably “rode the curve” and will get the B- that we always joke about. That’s not horrible by any means.

Ive just never been bad at anything before. I’ve rarely, rarely walked away from any performance and been able to look at it and say, “I could’ve done better.” Welcome to law school. I wont even find out for about a month how I did, so that will soften the blow as I will actually be PRACTICING criminal law by that time. (irony?)

The blow of the whole thing was softened by the fact that I was surrounded by such good friends. A crew of us went to Brits after the thing, and then John, Meg and I all went to Pings for some quality Chinese food. Then we went to the 19, got sufficiently ripped, and each ended up hooking up (kinda). I took home a skater-boy, Timmy and she got a number from some chick (edited). John went home to his wife. It felt good to be with those two and just hang. I dont know why it has taken me so long to do so.

I spend so much time pretending that I dont care about my grades, perhaps it is time to make that a reality. I did fine. I did my best. I couldn't have prepared much better. Just got to move past this one.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I walk alone

I went for a walk last night about 10pm. I had been in my apartment all day long preparing for today's Criminal Law test. I departed down my street, and then walked along the park, just enough to stretch my legs and get some air.

I was reminded that when I first moved here I had heard all sorts of horror stories about the park. I remember (Mitchell) worrying about me walking there at night. And I was so concerned at that point about losing (Mitchell). Moving can be a scary thing. That feeling of the unknown is hard for most of us.

Now, hardly eight months later, I walk comfortably alone around that same park. I have grown comfortable with the area, comfortable in my own skin. Even though I did end up losing (Mitchell) to the distance and the reality of the relationship, that thought no longer scares me either. I find myself very contented to walk alone.

On a completely unrelated note, Im back on one of my fitness kicks. Feels good. Even a couple days of working out makes me feel better, more energized. Also, unrelatedly, I spent about 30 minutes yesterday rearranging my schedule so I wouldnt hvae to take any future classes with my Crim Law professor. I was supposed to take Evidence with him next Spring, but with the disorganized and almost disrespectful way he has approached this exam, I am simply not willing to tolerate him for another semester. Oh well, it worked out in the long run. Now I will be taking a night class with an appellate judge. Should be interesting.

Monday, May 01, 2006

This is my friend...


This is my friend Ryan. He's in Iraq. Im proud of him. Keep him in your prayers.