Top Chicago Pride Moments

* Studying flashcards while driving so as not to get frustrated with Wisconsin drivers

* Having a road race at 105 mph the moment I crossed over the Illinois border

* Listening to the absolutely AMAZING new Coldplay CD, Viva la Vida (I don't even like Coldplay!)

* Rolling into town, getting frustrated with parking, so just illegally parking long enough to grab a beer at my favorite spot, Roscoe's.

* Hanging out with my oldest friends in the world, Pete and John

* Laughing til I cried with my lil sis about Arrested Development quotes

* Eating a crazy good thai lunch with the aforementioned sister and admiring everything she has learned about child rearing

* Cooking a rather nice dinner on the grill and then throwing a dance party at Justine's place

* Helping certain friends get laid/find new dates ;-)

* Listening to Justine go on an on about Warren Buffet and Mars and wondering if I was the only crazy one who didn't think purchasing a planet was a good idea

* Staying out til 4:45 am and then walking a 1/2 block back to Justine's fantastic place

* Getting Mojitos at 12:30 in the afternoon and watching the Gay ROTC and Kimberly Locke with my two favoritest people in the world

* Wondering "Would it look too gay if I danced?" And then remembering that I was at Pride... In Chicago... At the Kimberly Locke concert...

* Taking a "gay break" and watching Wall-E with the only person who could truly enjoy it with me

* Spending a relaxing night in to rest for the following morning... asleep 15 minutes into the movie

* Experimenting with eggs on the grill, then eating a fantabulous brunch (try sweet-potato hash-browns some time, they're killer!)

* Catching up with D and remembering some things never change. Which is awesome.

* Seeing Kim's new hair!!!

* Screaming at the Log Cabin Republicans "You're all F'ing Idiots"

* Dancing in the rain (a little Salsa with D, a little Cha Cha Slide) during the parade delays

* Seeing Kim do a Marilyn Monroe

* Eating egg rolls that some random stranger offered me because Chicagoans are AWESOME! Amazing!

* Float-hopping with some amazing chick in a purple wig

* Sitting on the ground with a couple pot-smokin drag queens as cops strolled by

* Arriving back in Minneapolis to a friend who knows exactly what I need to hear. I'll miss you Joshie!

* Coming home to find a guilt-ridden note from my aunt "Remember to cultivate loving relationships with all the people who love you. Accomplishments in this life are worth nothing if you can't share them with the people you love." I couldn't agree more! Thank you to all my wonderful Chicago friends!


Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Strawberry Swing" Coldplay,
Viva la Vida

Tendering my Notice

So today I gave my landlord my notice to vacate my apartment at the end of August.

It's so funny, I've spent the last two+ years bitching about how I just didn't "feel" the community in the Twin Cities... Just didn't feel very well connected to anything outside of law school. There were times when I swore I was gonna get out of here as fast as possible. And now that it's getting to be time to leave, I really really know that Im going to miss this place.

It's weird how this shit works. In a little over two months Im gonna have to pack up all my shit again, put it into a storage facility somewhere and patiently (not so patiently) wait to receive my placement in Wisconsin. Im sure I will eventually get really excited about wherever I get to go, to practice law, to establish a new community, but for right now all I have is the "leaving" part. My darlin little sis got all excited on the phone yesterday with me about the prospect of me moving closer to her. And that will be great, but I just couldn't share in her excitement in that moment. Cause all that means for me right now is that I am giving up everything here. Rough.

In a way its really good that I am getting out of here for a few days to go do Pride in Chicago. If I were to stick around here for our Pride it would likely only amplify my desire to stay put.

I've lived in this apartment building for about 3 years and it is seriously going to break my heart to leave this building and to leave the friendships that I feel only now are getting fortified. Its these transitions that challenge us. And at least on the plus-side I have the bar to focus on. Ick. THAT's my plus side. Haha.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Age Six Racer" Dashboard Confessional,
Swiss Army Romance

To my Grandparents:

Jon and Jane,

It is apparent from the card you recently sent me that you don’t understand how angry I continue to be at the two of you.

I asked my father to have a discussion with you about this, and I am not sure if he did or not, but I found out sometime this winter that you both signed a petition in Florida to have the state constitution amended to permanently ban gay marriage.

Believe what you will believe. I can agree to disagree. But what you did in this act was to sign a public document stating that you never want to see me as happy as my other cousins, that you never want me to be considered equal. My father has always taught me that love is an act, expressed over and over again. Your act was anything but loving. I don’t even know how to describe your action, but it was not loving.

I have accomplished much in my life, supported by many individuals who have loved and helped me along the way. And I have come to be very proud of who I am, including the fact that I am gay and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But in my short life I have learned that I don’t need people around me who will hurt me. I am returning your check. I don’t want your money. I would sooner drown in my own debt than accept money from someone who would turn around and sign a public document stating that they don’t see me as an equal. I am better than that.

I hope that you both live long enough to hear about the day I get married. It will be among the happiest days of my life. That will be an act of love.

C

Remembering the Titans: Clinton and Obama Style

Being Saturday night, I took a break from studying to watch "Remember the Titans," which has been on my Netflix cue. For someone who hates sports movies, that truly is an amazing movie, and an amazing reminder of our history. There came a point in the movie that I had to remind myself that "this" was just 60 years ago... The abject and outright hate that tore our country apart was just 60 years ago.

It amazes me that we were at that point in our history... There is simply no denying that it is one of our more shameful historical moments. But, as Coach Carter did in this movie, we need to look to the past and let the blood of those before us inspire and teach us. To love beyond race, beyond gender, beyond nationality, and, quite frankly, beyond ourselves.

Today, Sen. Hillary Clinton announced that she was suspending her campaign. In many ways, this reminds me of Coach Yoast in this movie: she had every right to fill the "head coach" position. She should have been our "Hall of Famer." But there is a rift in our country that needs to be filled, a wound that still needs to be healed, and progress that needs to be made, and there is someone else who can better help to accomplish that goal. I am so very proud to think that Barack Obama could be our next president. Will be our next president.

It was Coach Carter's unbridled audacity and influence that transformed that Virginia town into a vibrant example of integrated, fair, decent society, slowly teaching its citizens to love and respect one another despite their differences. But in the end it was both he and Coach Yoast (the white coach) who learned to work together to make the team everything that it could be.

This is not my pitch for making Sen. Clinton the VP candidate. Quite frankly I think that would be a political mistake. Rather, I think that our party, our people, have the potential to gather around this new leader of our party and create a new reality. Taking one more step forward in a society that has learned many lessons in our short history.

These are some titans to remember.

The (Second) Worst Summer of My Life

Well, I don't know about you, but I was up until about 11:30 last night. Friday night that is... Studying. Yup. Practice Bar Essays, Outlines, Flashcards and whatnot. And here it is, 8:20 am on one of the only Saturdays until August when I DONT have a 9am class, and I'm back studying again.

Its funny: I have heard from about 6 different lecturers that we should consider this summer, the summer of Bar Prep, to be the worst of our lives. Finally one of the lecturers on Thursday conceded, "Well, unless you have had a close family member die or have served in Iraq." Phew... Well at least maybe this will be the Second-Worst summer in my life.

I think it is hard for most people to understand what a big deal this F'ing test is, and how excruciating it is to study for. Two solid days of testing over the intricate details of at least 15 different areas of law (including something called "Commercial Paper," whatever THAT is), in both essay format and multiple choice. But wait, there's more: one day you are being tested on the laws of a local jurisdiction (WI for me), and the next you are being tested on general law principles which often directly contradict your state's laws. Great. Oh, and also, in the long run your score is being "scaled" against the other test takers, so this F'ing test is on a curve as well. Yippee.

Oh, and if you fail, you will be disappointing your school, losing any potential job opportunities you had for at least 6 months and will have to do all of this again.

I was talking to a fellow bar-taker about the fact that people don't seem to get what a big deal all this is. I proposed passing a law: "All persons in preparation for taking a bar exam, within two months of taking such exam, are excused from any social obligations that might be expected of them, including anniversaries, birthdays, and things like Father's Day. This assembly recognizes that they need to fall off the face of the planet for a little while and should be allowed to do so with impunity." Or something like that.

Also, because I started to get entertained by this yesterday, here is just a sampling of the "status messages" of some of my friends who are studying for the bar right now:

Chris is going to run away and live at Greenacre.

Deepa is re-living the nightmare of first year property.

Leyla is realizing she didn't learn a darn thing in law school.

Suzanne: my brain has already reached its max...oh mf.

Ryan wishes he had an "easy" button.

Meg is contemplating a life on the pole rather than continuing to study for the bar.

Jake is Bawws deep in Con Law.

Dee Ann doesn't even want to be a lawyer.

Jenny feels like she'll never stop studying...

Karen's fortune cookie just told her she would make a good lawyer...hmmm...

John is flipping a coin between attorney and box car hobo.


Good Times.

Transitions... Again

It is kinda a humid, stuffy day today in my office. It is, in fact, my last day here. After two years clerking for the Public Defender I have to say goodbye. I'm having a bit of trouble with it, to be honest. I will certainly miss the people, the work, the atmosphere... This job has been an unexpected gift from God. And it sucks to walk away from it.

So here's where I am at: I graduated law school magna cum laude. My adoption article was published by our law journal earlier this month. There was a TON of drama this year at law school (one very good reason I wasn't writing). I also wasn't writing because I largely didn't feel I needed to. I had enough outlets around for my occasional venting. Writing seems a bit more necessary now.

It looks like I am going to be working for the Wisconsin Public Defender, which is fantastic. Our office here had its funding cut, so there was no job potential here (we kinda knew that was going to be the outcome), so it is super nice that I have this job offer keeping me sane. On the downside I won't know where I will be living until about October, once bar results are announced. So until then I am studying for the Wisconsin bar, staying put here while many of my friends move away, and then figuring out what to do with the months of August and September (I have already applied to a local grocery store for a position re-stocking shelves... Im also thinking of standing next to the road begging with a sign that reads: "Graduated with Honors from Law School - Can't get a job").

Its kinda funny, because the ONLY thing I have to get done today is a rather simple memo that I am really just putting off. I may try to get it done over the weekend. I just am not quite mentally ready to be done.

Personally I am at a bit of an awkward point as well. On the one hand I want to grab at every opportunity with my various friend groups to spend as much quality time with everyone as possible. On the other hand I have this deep desire to hole-up, divest from relationships and quietly slip away.

A large part of all of this is that I have WAY too much free time at the moment. I have been running at about 150% for the last three years: full time school with sometimes two other jobs, running the social apparatus for the school while on law journal and creating all sorts of problems for the school along the way. Now it's just me. No job. No school. No social structure. Just me. Wow. That's kinda a scary thought.