Transitions... Again

It is kinda a humid, stuffy day today in my office. It is, in fact, my last day here. After two years clerking for the Public Defender I have to say goodbye. I'm having a bit of trouble with it, to be honest. I will certainly miss the people, the work, the atmosphere... This job has been an unexpected gift from God. And it sucks to walk away from it.

So here's where I am at: I graduated law school magna cum laude. My adoption article was published by our law journal earlier this month. There was a TON of drama this year at law school (one very good reason I wasn't writing). I also wasn't writing because I largely didn't feel I needed to. I had enough outlets around for my occasional venting. Writing seems a bit more necessary now.

It looks like I am going to be working for the Wisconsin Public Defender, which is fantastic. Our office here had its funding cut, so there was no job potential here (we kinda knew that was going to be the outcome), so it is super nice that I have this job offer keeping me sane. On the downside I won't know where I will be living until about October, once bar results are announced. So until then I am studying for the Wisconsin bar, staying put here while many of my friends move away, and then figuring out what to do with the months of August and September (I have already applied to a local grocery store for a position re-stocking shelves... Im also thinking of standing next to the road begging with a sign that reads: "Graduated with Honors from Law School - Can't get a job").

Its kinda funny, because the ONLY thing I have to get done today is a rather simple memo that I am really just putting off. I may try to get it done over the weekend. I just am not quite mentally ready to be done.

Personally I am at a bit of an awkward point as well. On the one hand I want to grab at every opportunity with my various friend groups to spend as much quality time with everyone as possible. On the other hand I have this deep desire to hole-up, divest from relationships and quietly slip away.

A large part of all of this is that I have WAY too much free time at the moment. I have been running at about 150% for the last three years: full time school with sometimes two other jobs, running the social apparatus for the school while on law journal and creating all sorts of problems for the school along the way. Now it's just me. No job. No school. No social structure. Just me. Wow. That's kinda a scary thought.