I dont orgasm enough? You're telling me!

Okay. I am frusterated. Sexually. And grumpy. Perhaps tired too. I will probably delete this post tomorrow. But I am in a real funk with (Mitchell). It has been forever since he has expressed any sexual desire towards me, and I feel like my advances (and there are many) are constantly being turned down. What the fuck does this take?

At this point, it is Wednesday, and I have been with him straight since Saturday (when we did have sex... but only because I took a taxi to see him after he was too tired to meet me out... this is what I am talking about). Am I a horn-ball because I am 23? Perhaps. But it would help if he just showed SOME interest. I am not ready to go to the sleeping-buddy relationship this early in a relationship. He told me this whole porn thing last night that got me all revved up. About how the ONE night I had to work he had a giant libido. Oh, and another porn thing. We get home, and nothing. In fact he wouldnt even show me the one thing he was flaunting in my face at the bar. I dont get it. I feel like I am being played with.

Christina is in town for a couple days, and she and I came to the conclusion that he obviously needs to want me more. I derive that I need to spend fewer nights in his bed. Now, this is a shitty conclusion to come to 9 days before I move away from him, but at this point I am not getting any anyway. I'll be the first to admit that I have been enjoying the easy escape from my apartment and the drama that comes with it by staying over-much at (Mitchell's).

We had our first tiff on Friday about me feeling like I was the only one who was showing any passion for the relationship. It really was more about emotion, but I guess that it also extends to sexual passion. I want to be with someone who wants me. I woke up this morning alone in his bed (this was after he passed out immediately last night after I DDed back from Madison). At first I imagined that he was making me breakfast or something sweet like that. No beans. He didnt feel well. Okay, I can be the good, understanding boyfriend about that... Fair enough... But when do I see the "good boyfriend" in return?

I have never had this become an issue in my past relationships. The sex was always just there. I never had to feel like I was fighting against lesbian bed-death. Maybe it's because I am NOT A LESBIAN! I am a 23-year-old gay male. One who is used to being appreciated for his looks, (dont ask me when was the last time he complimented me on something... the answer might be: never) (I got a hair cut yesterday... not one word from him... come ON! even my straight friends say the "nice haircut" thing... nothing) (aniversary #2) (normally I dont keep track of these things, but they are really starting to irritate me). One who is used to the availability of sex not being begged for. I mean, the number of telephone numbers I get on a Friday night at work... Anyway.

Okay. I Love him. I have said that. I will continue to say that. But this shit has got to get worked out, especially before I leave, because the last thing I want is to leave with a bad taste in my mouth. There is so much I adore about this guy... I just wish that he EXPRESSED those same feelings.