It was going to end anyway

I just got off the phone with the man I had made my boyfriend, the man I had been dating for about 4 months (note the 4 month period, that is of some significance). The phone call had ended with a loud "Fuck You" from me, and me hanging up on him.

Last night he got mad at me for "raising my voice to him." Nevermind that we were at a bar. Nevermind that he had been ignoring me and asking me to do something that I was uncomfortable with. I had raised my voice.

After he proceeded to pout for the rest of the night, and then ignore me all day today, I finally got in touch with him and asked what was up. He was still angry that I wouldnt apologize for "raising my voice." I told him not to hold his breathe, and that such an apology would never happen. He had been pressuring me to do something I was uncomfortable with, and I'm not one of those people that let's that shit fly.

Later this evening, after even more discussion, he still wanted an apology, and refused to let it go. Long story short, I told him to quit with his superiority complex and let it go. I also made it clear that this was not the sort of drama I want in my life. "Well, you're a smart guy, I'm sure that you can figure out how to solve this," he said. "Cut the bullshit. I don't want to play these games," I said, "tell me what you want, or Im out."

"Out of what?" he said.

"Out of everything," I responded, indicating the best relationship (physical and otherwise) that I have been in in years. "I have no interest in continuing these games."

So... the conversation ended poorly. Im kinda not cool about the whole thing. The only thing that is keeping me from hyperventilating is the knowledge that, one way or another, the relationship was going to end this May when he left the state. There were no two ways around that one. And maybe, just maybe, ending it this way is the easiest way of all: swift and harsh rather than long and belingering pain. Still isn't much fun though.