Republicans and Power

It CONSTANTLY surprises how much abuse of power we have seen in, around, and among the modern Republican party and their brethren. Be it Haliburton making bajillions off of the war in Iraq because of contracts that were funneled to them by the Vice President (their ex-CEO), or Federal Prosecutors being fired because they refused to be manipulated for political purposes. And now this:

The FBI agent ex-boyfriend of Ann Coulter put a call in to Palm Beach Sheriff's Office to get her off the hook for alleged voter fraud.

That's okay though. At least she's heterosexual.

Officially Failed

Well, I knew eventually this would happen.

I have grown so accustombed to juggling so many things in my life, and I knew that one day I just wouldn't be able to keep all the balls in the air. (I would make a "balls in the air" joke, but this is serious folks.) I finally hit that point where I neglected something important to me, and there is no longer anything I can do to make up for it.

And for this I must apologize.

Today officially marks the end of the academic year. I am now a 3L.

But around the end of last summer I started an "around the world" beer tour at a local hang-out, where the goal was to drink one of every beer they had in their selection: a total of 80. I immediately decided that my goal would be to complete this arduous journey of hops by the end of my 2L year. I came damn close, I have currently killed about 65 of those tasty beverages, so I have made a good dent in this goal, but nonetheless, this is a failure.

For once in my life I have not drank enough.

I have failed.

Name the Quote

"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides...you have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and ... can we just skip it? Can you... can you just be kissing me now?"

Opposing the Federal Hate Crimes Law...

So, in my continuing quest to avoid studying for tomorrow's exam (God, I hope I don't have to retake this class), I am catching up not only on the work on my desk, but on the blogs that I have been neglecting to read for the last few weeks/months. Among the stories of note was the passing of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act in the U.S. House of Representatives and its introduction in the Senate. Follow it here.

My first reaction was to be proud that Minnesota’s own Amy Klobuchar was a co-sponsor of the bill in the Senate. I called to thank her office. I further noted that a Minnesota Democrat, Collin Peterson out of the 7th District, was one of only 11 democrats to break rank and vote against the bill. I also called his office and told him what a shitty thing that was. His staffer came back with: “We don’t think we want to classify one violent crime as worse than another simply because of who the victim is.”

Bullshit. I got into one of my biggest arguments ever with my college roommate over this issue: hate crimes affect communities in a way that is meant to ostracize and stifle minority communities through fear. Often, the victim is unknown to the perpetrator except as a member of that minority community. So Dick wasn’t attacked because he was Dick or because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time, but rather because he is Muslim, Black, Hispanic, Gay, or any or all of the above (perhaps at the wrong time with that minority status). Dick is definitely the victim, but so is every other minority member of his community who has to fear that they could be targeted as well.

But, after looking closely at the bill, I’m not sure that I personally support it. And it’s because I agree with George W. Bush. GASP!!!

Don’t get me wrong, if this bill were coming through the state legislature, I would be all about it. Even though there are still serious flaws (such as the possibility of rape or domestic abuse cases being classified as a hate crime against “gender”), I think that it is a good issue to be pursued at a state level.

But looking at the bill, it would federalize (or create the possibility of federal jurisdiction for) a wide variety of violent crimes. The “commerce connection” needed to qualify for federal jurisdiction is simply that a) a gun was involved, b) an interstate instrumentality (like a highway or other federally funded road) was involved, or c) that either the perpetrator or the victim were involved, going to be involved or could be involved in some type of commerce (had gone to Walmart three days ago). In the hands of an over-zealous federal prosecutor (and let’s be real, have we met one who isn’t overzealous?) this could federalize a HUGE assortment of crimes, crimes which would otherwise be dealt with on a state level.

I hate to let my libertarian, federalist colors show a little, but this is one of those things that can, and should, be addressed at a state level. It is a bit of a reach of the commerce powers of Congress, and something that I truly don’t feel like is best handled by the federal government.

This, ironically, is the exact reason that Bush’s office is threatening to veto this bill: not the gay issue, but the federalism issue. While I agree with that stated rationale, I am not sure it isn’t a smokescreen when compared to the only other two vetos of his tragic presidency: stem cell research funding and the Iraq Timetable Bill. Plus, wasn’t No Child Left Behind just a huge example of expansion of federal government? Anyway… I'm just trying to shield myself from the appearance of agreeing with the moron too much…

Oh... and please don't hate me for voicing this dissent.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Something Pretty" Patrick Park,
Loneliness Knows My Name

Response to Comment:

I received an interesting comment post last night regarding my sexuality and my faith. Specifically, how I can be a “gay Christian” and what my “defense” is to, well, my life.

First to clarify to the curious reader, “Christian” is not only my faith but also my name. So, at least we can go from there. I grew up in the Catholic Church, in fact almost joined the seminary, but in the end became disillusioned by the Church’s stance on many social issues that I simply think are indefensible. But while I may have stepped away from my religion, my faith is still very strong. (If a discussion on the difference between spirituality, faith, and religion is warranted, let me know).

While I appreciate the curiosity of your question, I’m not sure that I like the idea that someone’s faith needs to be “defended.” While my beliefs (clearly) disagree with many big churches in the U.S., and in fact the church I grew up in, I still believe that faith is a personal belief system that stems not from what others believe, but from what you yourself believe.

As to how I came to become comfortable with my personal faith, it was after more prayer and spiritual journey than I think I even credit myself for. It was through a personal “giving it up to Jesus” experience that was incredibly powerful when I was 17. It was through being kicked out of a youth group when I was 18 after I had come out. It was through daily prayer and meditation while living in Venezuela at age 19. It was through a spiritual pilgrimage across the northern face of Spain when I was 22. It was through getting a degree in Theology at Marquette University when I was 23. I only mention these things so that you will see that I didn’t come to some blithe conclusion that, “God loves me, I am gay, so it’s all good” (although I think there is certainly something to that argument).

My personal faith is also based on much more than what the Bible says. It is based on a personal relationship with Jesus, based on continued prayer and reflection, and finally based on what I have come to know about the existence of God and the world around us.

Someone once told me that hell is an existence in the absence of God. I don’t know if that is theologically sound, but truly I hope to never find out. Much of modern religion will give gay men two options: 1) live celibate or 2) live outside of God’s love. Through my personal journey, I have discovered that the God of the New Testament is not likely to cast entire peoples from his sight, no matter what their sins. I have also learned, as is backed up in 1 Corinth 7:7, that celibacy is a gift of the spirit, not to be expected or demanded of people, but to be celebrated in those who are able to practice it for spiritual oneness with God. I, to assure you, do not have this gift. I’ll address where my sexual practices fall into my faith in a moment.

I will tell you what my personal faith journey has led me to interpret into Biblical teaching, but for a more thorough, complete and, perhaps, correct analysis I suggest this site. As to the Biblical address to the issue of homosexuality, here are my thoughts:

1) Leviticus forbids a lot of things, most of which are ignored by modern society. The person who has forsaken shellfish and blended fibers can be the first to cast a stone at me regarding that scripture. Historically, Leviticus was written not for all of the Israelites, but for a special tribe of priests called Levites. So, even when God handed down that scripture, it was not intended for all the Hebrews, only a select portion of them. It would be like the Catholic Church’s teachings being interpreted to command all Catholics to live in Poverty, Celibacy and Service.

2) St. Paul wrote a great many books (even if you don’t believe he wrote all those credited to him) in the Bible. Honestly, I have a little harder of a time reconciling his scripture than I do Leviticus. However, St. Paul, in all his inspiration, also wrote passages that have been read to subjugate women and condone slavery. He wrote, to my knowledge, three phrases about homosexuality. My final conclusion with those pieces is that they are the “letter of the law” and missing its spirit. They capture that era’s condemnation of Greek culture from St. Paul’s orthodox Jewish perspective, and not the message of the new Church. St. Paul was trying to get his reader’s to live more holy lives. And in the process he told them what he thought that looked like.

From an interpretive stand-point, this all may sound like a weak argument, but I come back to my faith, which is based in the love of Christ Jesus, who chided against the Pharisees for living only the letter of the law, rather than its spirit. I am reminded that Jesus’ message was far less about condemnation than charity and forgiveness. About taking the plank out of your own eye and such. In that light, I find the judgmentalism of the modern Christian church rather appalling.

As for my actual sexual practices, outside the guidance of religion, this has been a bit of a personal journey as well. Would it be best to wait til I have a marriage/commitment ceremony to have sex only within the context of a perpetual, life-long, monogamous relationship? Absolutely. However, one must realize that support systems for such a decision by a gay person do not exist. That is, however, only an excuse, and I realize that my sexual encounters outside of a loving, committed relationship are sinful. Just as are those of any other Christian, heterosexual or otherwise, who falls to that temptation.

I was making a spiritual pilgrimage across Spain when I found in my prayer book a prayer for forgiveness for a “disordered” sexual life (this, of course is a rough translation of what I was praying). I realized then that perhaps what I needed to be concerned with was not the marriage/not marriage thing, as that was a worry I would not be able to overcome, but whether I am truly treating my body as a temple, or whether I was bringing chaos into life by disrespecting my body by treating it as nothing more than an instrument of pleasure.

Do I continue to have sex outside of meaningful, committed relationships? Yes. Do I admit that that is a sin? Yes. Is it something that I have reconciled in my own personal faith journey? Yes.

I have now waxed on for far longer than I think my commenter would have desired, but I thought it was an interesting and respectful question, and an interesting thought path to take.

Besides, I am still avoiding studying for jurisprudence.

Back to the Grind

I am (perhaps depressingly) excited to be back at my desk at work. I love my job.

I came back to a stack of work about 8" high, which is actually kinda fun to jump into (Lest there be doubts that I am needed at my job). I got a last-minute research request yesterday for a team that was in trial and needed an answer by the end of the day. Sweet. I love that sort of stuff (I need to get my head examined). Many of the issues I've got sitting on my desk are basic legal questions, that make me feel really smart for knowing the quick answers to them: "Can I bring up the character of the victim in a self-defense case?" "Can premeditation be formed within seconds or minutes, or does it need more time to develop?" "What sort of constructive possession is needed to convict a person of possession of an illegal substance?"

I am still putting off studying for my Jurisprudence exam. It is just a depressing prospect to have to look forward to. I didn't learn a damn thing all semester, mostly because it is a useless subject with zero application to either my professional life or even passing the bar exam. I have about two days to learn some 1000 years of legal theory. Ehh... No problem. (Fuck me!... Aunt Helen! - name the movie).

Beyond that, I tried calling the Guy last night to make one more attempt at reviving the relationship. All I can say is that at least I tried. He seems more intent on staying hurt and upset, which is his prerogative. Not the way I live my life. So, time to move on.

I went to a high-end salon yesterday to get my stomach waxed. My dear friends, stomach hair has plagued me from my youth and has always bothered me, perhaps more than it should. I even tried the laser treatments for awhile. I have a party this weekend that will likely involve me removing my shirt, and especially now that I am now single, it is rather important that I not be a woolly beast. But the reason I bring this up now is this: I had a 5:30 appointment, for which I showed up at 5:35. The waxing took no more than 15 minutes, and I didn't even get any touch-up tweezing. And I got charged $45.

When I graduate, I will have gone through 7 years of education and hold a graduate degree. And yet, even then, (admittedly because of personal philanthropic choices) my time will still not be worth $45 an hour. Let alone $45 for a half-hour. Wow. Maybe I'll just go back to cutting my own hair. Can anyone else see a tragic self-inflicted waxing accident in my future?

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Same" Snow Patrol,
Final Straw

2:30 am resolve, 11:30 pm uncertainty

Tomorrow I go back to work, and so should be blogging on a more consistent basis, given the desk-job nature of the work. I'm seriously giddy to return to work, but that is not quite what is keeping me awake.

The Guy IMed me today, telling me that he had read my last post, and created one of his own. He asked me to read it and get back to him. I wrote back that I appreciated the gesture, but if he wanted to say something, he is going to have to talk to me directly. While I didn't read it, I had my roommate look it over, just to a) find out if there was anything I needed to worry about and b) more importantly let me know if there was anything there that was worth responding to, as in an overt "Im sorry I pushed you away," or something. She said it was tasteful and yet not worth reading since it wasn't written to me. For your edification. (I have yet to read it, so if it is poor judgment to leave this link up, let me know.)

He came by my apartment this morning at 2:30am, and wanted to rehash everything. There has been such a strong part of me that has wanted to just get past all this BS and have him back, and having him in my apartment as I was tired and tipsy, I just wanted to pull him to me: let this be over. And yet, he was asking me to compromise myself with an unfelt apology, to say words that I did not mean, to fake emotion that I would not. So much of who I am is tied to my honesty, brutal as it may be at times. To have someone I care about very deeply ask me to change that part of me for him was not only painful but difficult for me. I stood there, longing to have him back with me, and thought, "It would be so very easy to just say the words." But I knew that I would regret it, and resent both him and myself for saying them. The whole relationship would become a farce.

There was a point were I may have pushed things too far. I told him that if we could not resolve this, Im through. I don't deal with drama well, and I had then spent the better part of two evenings on tending to the hurt feelings of someone who didn't like it when I raised my voice to assert myself. I asked him for my key back. Not to end the relationship, but because I felt like it was already ended. He was closed off to me because of this interaction, and I wasn't about to let the whole thing go on much longer. Maybe I should have. I have a history of ending things too peremptorily.

And now, after hashing it out with two best friends, my father, his friend, I am still not sure where I am with this. I have a couple of options. 1) Try to continue to open an adult dialogue, even if I keep hitting walls with this or 2) forget about this and go to work tomorrow, concentrate on all the awesome things in my life and try to forget how I lost another fantastic man who cared for me and treated me like no one else has up to this point in my young life.

As torturous as it may be, I think I'm gonna try option 1, even if just for a few more days.

It was going to end anyway

I just got off the phone with the man I had made my boyfriend, the man I had been dating for about 4 months (note the 4 month period, that is of some significance). The phone call had ended with a loud "Fuck You" from me, and me hanging up on him.

Last night he got mad at me for "raising my voice to him." Nevermind that we were at a bar. Nevermind that he had been ignoring me and asking me to do something that I was uncomfortable with. I had raised my voice.

After he proceeded to pout for the rest of the night, and then ignore me all day today, I finally got in touch with him and asked what was up. He was still angry that I wouldnt apologize for "raising my voice." I told him not to hold his breathe, and that such an apology would never happen. He had been pressuring me to do something I was uncomfortable with, and I'm not one of those people that let's that shit fly.

Later this evening, after even more discussion, he still wanted an apology, and refused to let it go. Long story short, I told him to quit with his superiority complex and let it go. I also made it clear that this was not the sort of drama I want in my life. "Well, you're a smart guy, I'm sure that you can figure out how to solve this," he said. "Cut the bullshit. I don't want to play these games," I said, "tell me what you want, or Im out."

"Out of what?" he said.

"Out of everything," I responded, indicating the best relationship (physical and otherwise) that I have been in in years. "I have no interest in continuing these games."

So... the conversation ended poorly. Im kinda not cool about the whole thing. The only thing that is keeping me from hyperventilating is the knowledge that, one way or another, the relationship was going to end this May when he left the state. There were no two ways around that one. And maybe, just maybe, ending it this way is the easiest way of all: swift and harsh rather than long and belingering pain. Still isn't much fun though.

I will break my way out when it rains

So it seems that once again I have let it happen. I’m not sure exactly what it is about me that attracts me to these situations, but it is definitely something that I need to look into.

While I haven’t been posting, I have been working my ass off at the Legal Clinic, having varied and wonderful adventures in the Family Law system. I have also been dating someone. We have left it gloriously undefined, although I guess it is fair to say we aren’t sleeping with anyone else at the moment… He’s positively the sweetest guy I’ve ever dated. Kinda one of those “care-taker” guys, but without being overbearing or invasive. We started dating late February with the most phenomenal first date ever, so it’s fair to say that we haven’t been seeing each other long. But true-to-form, about two months in, Im starting to feel for him.

He happens to be Nigerian. He’s here on a student VISA, and had planned to stay in the country getting his education after he left the local college where he currently works. He and I have both known that he would be moving away as soon as the end of April. That is, the end of this month. There was something about knowing that going into things that made we hold onto the hope that 1) if things went poorly, he’d be gone soon enough and I wouldn’t have to deal with any residual ugliness and 2) if it went well, he’d only be a couple of states away and we could play that by ear.

Well, he told me tonight that he found out last night that the US Immigration Services would not be granting him a work VISA to stay here next year. He will either be returning to Nigeria permanently or studying in Europe next year.

Anyone who has known me for 10 minutes knows that I like to fix things. For Clients. For Friends. For Family. And definitely for those I’m dating. But there is simply no fixing this. The US Immigration service is an absolute bureaucracy that is absolutely inescapable. I had already been allowing myself to have those, “What if:” future thoughts about our relationship in which I realized that even if this person was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (and Im not saying he is) that because I can’t get legally married to him in the United States (thanks to Clinton and DOMA) I could never get him citizenship here based on our relationship. I have often felt like the gay-marriage issue was unfair, but never quite so much as the feeling that in order to pursue a long-term relationship with this guy we would have to a) have him come up with some convoluted and involved reason for permanent immigration to the US or b) we move to Nigeria and find ourselves quickly stoned to death for our relationship.

I don’t like those options.

So. Now I find myself in a relationship which I very much like, with an expiration date. I don’t quite know how to deal with that. I slowly find this guy becoming a wonderful addition to my life, and I have to deal with the fact that it will soon be subtracted.

Can't wait til the Bar Examiners Find This...

Just came across this photo again last night. I think I'll rename the photo "Release from Law School"... But only if instead of heroin or meth, this needle is full of cyanide.

And the most liberal moment of the night goes to...

Seeing Melissa Etheridge kiss her wife Tammy on the lips while on her way to the stage to accept an Oscar for Best Original Song Written for a Screenplay. For the song she wrote about changing our behaviors in the face of global warming. Melissa then got on stage, and thanked her wife. Using that actual word!!! Oh the horrors! Then, of course, she thanked Al Gore too.

Im thrilled! But I can hear the righties bitching right now about "liberal hollywood."

Maybe they're the ones that "need to wake up."

Thanks Melissa!

A Day with Life

I spent the day today doing something important. It's funny, because I would so often like to think that the accomplishments of a day are "important." The minutia of law school helps us to lose ourselves in the self-love of what sort of things we can get done on behalf of clients, what kind of arguments we can make, what kind of battles we can win.

And today I blew all of that stuff off. I skipped most of the day's various obligations because a friend needed me. I called into my clinic and said, "I'm sorry that I won't be coming in. Actually, no. No. I'm not sorry. This is something I have to do." And it was.

A dear friend from school had to endure the horror of her partner going through emergency surgery. Another friend and I arrived at the hospital just as she was starting to contemplate what would happen if she lost this wonderful, dear person in her life. It immediately became clear how I needed to spend the rest of my day.

We didn't really "do" anything. We were just there. It was the only role we really could play. And yet it was the only one we really needed to.

I learned early in my life that there can be no greater appreciation of life than in the face of death. And there is no greater appreciation of love than in the face of loss. To see my friend anxious and upset over her love gave me a glimpse into the depth of their relationship, and the immensity of their love. I got to be a witness to how two people in this world have come to mean everything to each other in a way that takes my breath away. It gives me hope. Even in this sadness, there was hope.

It's truly amazing with these trials life hands us. They may be the hardest things that we ever bear, but they bring us closer to those around us. Remind us of what is important. And most amazingly they remind us of all the love that surrounds us. Lest I seem heroic or noble or whatever, I was only one of the core group of friends at school that has "been there" for this one. Each offered their distinct aspects of friendship. Whether it was humor, tact, listening, medical knowledge, administrative know-how.... each has supported this friend in their own way. And it fills me with great happiness to know that they would be there for me as well. That this trial, and our response to it, was not just a testament to my friendship to her, but to our friendship to each other.

I feel so blessed to have gotten to do something so important today as just being a friend.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Tomorrow is a Long Time" Nickel Creek,
Why Should the Fire Die? TITLE

Nevermind

Despite Andrew Sullivan's argument yesterday as to why so many more gays might be Republican if the party weren't antagonistic to us, I was reminded last night of the many other reasons I can't "do" Republican (in any sense of the word).

This reminder came from CityPage's article on the "new" Tim Pawlenty, governor of our fair state of Minnesota. The article details how Gov. Pawlenty continues to gut medical care for the poor, education in the areas of the State that need it most (special education and inner-city, heavily minority areas), and the transportation needs of the state. All the while smiling and claiming that he isn't doing any of it.

One more black mark for the Republican record as far as I'm concerned.

Vote for Rudy?

A good friend emailed me this blog post about Rudy Giuliani's run for president. In short, could the gay community support a candidate who has fully complied with our exceptions of a progressive candidate on "our" issues, even if he does happen to be a Republican? The entry seems to have a fairly disdainful view of the Human Right's Campaign and its historic support of almost exculsively Democrat candidates. However, the question I ask myself is, "Could I vote for this guy?"

I generally think of myself as a fiscally conserative moderate who in other eras could be considered an independent voter. However in my reply to my friend, I noted that in my entire lifetime as a voter, now going on 6 years, I haven't been able to vote for Republicans in good conscience because I know that doing so could continue to deny me rights I consider crucial to my basic citizenship (let's be honest, if the Scalites had their way, my bedroom activities would still be illegal). But without that imminent threat, could I vote Republican?

I have always found Log Republicans to be laughable. How a gay person can even think about voting for someone who will in turn vote with/for an administration that is deadset on a middle-aged ethic on sexual health and a republican congress that is happy to let it happen, it simply seems naive to me.

But McCain? Giuliani? I would seriously think about it. I'm sure it wouldn't take me too long to remember the other reasons that I vote Democrat, but this would take a seriously leg out of that argument.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Black Horse & the Cherry Tree" KT Tunstall,
ALBUM TITLE

Boston Legal: Gender Compliance?

Don't get me wrong. I love me some Boston Legal. I think it's witty and hilarious, and legally totally absurd. But as the clip below indicates, at the end of the day with the show it often addresses very real societal concerns, often to an intelligent and ... ahem... liberal resolution.

But there is one story line that is deeply troubling me. It is that of a character who initially came on as "Clarise." "Clarise" was a large black man who felt more comfortable expressing himself as a female. I think that many of my fellow LGBT activists would feel comfortable classifying this character as Transgendered. The storyline began innocently enough, highlighting the difficulties of such a life path in today's world. However, then it took a significantly less educated and progressive turn.

Another character in the show forced "Clarise" to gender-comply and become "Clarence." I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for it to become clear that such forced gender-compliance can only have negative repercussions on someone' s personality. However, the show's producers seem intent on making it clear that by forcing "Clarence" to forgo his wig, dress, and fairly outlandish female persona, the character has accepted a better life. A life where "he" now has a girlfriend, a phenomenally good career, indeed is even trying murder cases (where before he couldn't date and wasn't able to find a job, and then only as a law clerk).

While the clip below makes a phenomenal case about the absurdity of the whole "ex-gay" movement, it concerns me that out of the other side of the proverbial mouth comes the idea that while gays can't be changed, transgendered people can. It makes me so angry that I end up yelling at the television each and every time I see that story line. I hope that the producers fix this dreadful storyline to make it more in tune with what we know about gender compliance. Cause more scenes like this would be amazing:

Dancing Christian, Dancing Buddhist, Dancing Queens

Haven't posted in a while. Nothing too exciting going on, except at my legal clinic. And everything I deal with there is confidential. Not like, "Oooohhh... this is gonna piss-a-bitch off," but more like "Ooops, I can't become a lawyer anymore" confidential. So.

I went to our Law Prom this last weekend. I was kinda dreading it really, and only went because I am on the team of people that helps plan these events. I thought my date was being reticent about the whole thing, and I was kinda forced by default to hang out with a group I had barely even talked to in a while.

Well, I had a freaking blast. The folks I hung out with are great people, and I was reminded why I loved hanging out with them so much last year. And my date... he was charming, sexy, didn't mind meeting a million law school folks, and we had a blast getting down on the dance floor.

On that point, I give my school great credit. Attending a Catholic law school in the Midwest, I have had to put up with my fair share of crap as a gay man at the school. If I had to make my decision to attend here again, I would heavily reconsider. But at this dance... it was almost utopian. Nobody seemed to give a crap that I was dancing up on a hot guy, or that he was dancing right back up on me. After thinking about the whole thing in the fog of hangover the next morning, I realized that in the 7 years that I have been out and in education, I have never once brought a guy to a school dance. In fact, I can hardly think of an official social function where I have brought a true "date." Admittedly, most of that is the fact that I have been perpetually single for most of my life, but that only made the experience more fun: I had someone to bring to this dance, and then everyone was amazing about it.

And speaking of amazing, the guy I brought is, well, quite something. He's Buddhist (like a for-real practicing Buddhist) which gives him far more depth than most of the other guys I have met in a really long time. Witty, fun, and a great kisser on top of all that. There are moments when I looked at him on Saturday and just felt very lucky to have him with me.

I had met the Buddhist a few weeks back at a party on an idle Friday night. I had found myself at a party with a bunch of people who shouldn't have been drinking, and was kinda in a mood about that, cause that is really not a good situation for me to be put in. I was a bit salty for much of the evening, and finally I had this guy call me out for being a giant dose of negative energy. I went to mentally tackle this interloper on my negative streak when I realized that the guy was totally right. And he was cute. We ended up talking for a while, but when my friends made to leave I oddly told this guy, the Buddhist, that, "Hey, I look forward to bumping into you again." No numbers exchanged, just left it up to fate.

The next morning I woke up and wanted to slam my head against a wall for that decision.

Later that night (this is Saturday now), I was riding around in a limo for a friend's birthday. We were having a blast and ended up at one of the gay bars I never go to (seriously, this was my second time there). And who do I bump into? The Buddhist.

We started dancing there, and may have made out a little bit on the dance floor (I am indeed a classy guy). Needless to say, numbers were exchanged that night.

Sooo... After the dance this last weekend, I officially like this one. I know that in my last posts I have talked about the wonder of being single, and I am pretty sure that it will take someone pretty amazing to make me want to give that up anytime soon. The Buddhist just might be amazing.

Of course now that I have opened myself up to that possibility, the nervous part of me starts to react, and wonder whether "He's just [that] into me." Well, he's given me some interesting indications that he is taking this thing rather seriously (pulled me aside on the dance floor to let me know that he's not interested in children, responding to my idle expression of interest in a family one of the first times we met. My reaction? "I'm pretty sure we are still on our second date.") (feeling that he needed to express to me that he is still seeing other guys). It sounds as if we are still on the same page as far as interest in each other and interest in pursuing the "relationship thing."

Which is good. Very good.

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"Easy" Barenaked Ladies,
Barenaked Ladies Are Me

Why Dan Savage is my Hero

And why Mary Cheney is a Hypocritical Whore.

Long week..

It's Friday night, and I'm still in my apartment, still in my pajamas from last night. This recuperation day was much needed.

This week was truly truly draining. Seems like I was just barely able to keep my head above water. Along with a night out with the Professor on Monday, my computer meltdown on Tuesday (Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks!), and having to buy a new computer on Wednesday, last night I had to deal with some homophobic asshole who tried to pick a fight with me at Bar Review. Oh, the gems that St. Thomas attracts.

Sooo... It's a night in for me. I can get back to the work and play tomorrow. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

One more reason to love Texas

I have no idea if this is real, but it had me laughing uncontrobaly during my Jurisprudence class. Definitely worth the read, if for no other reason than professional aspiration. Without further adue, a Texan Divorce.

I'm a Mac guy now

I'm not going to promise that this decision wasn't a direct result of their brilliant marketing and the "I'm a Mac" ads. Although I have been a PC and Windows user since I was 12 (longer than almost anyone else I know), I'm now done with it.

A little less than two years ago my Windows based PC had to be replaced because it was freaking out in a variety of ways.

Last night my Toshiba literally started melting. (Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks! Toshiba sucks!)

My tech savy friend John Roberts then worked actively to "turn me" (which is funny, cause I have been actively working to "turn him" for ages... but in a whole other manner). In the end, the question was not "why" to go to a Mac but rather, "why not?"

So I have a brand new white Powerbook. Its taking a bit of adjustment. I miss my two button mouse with its scroll, and I now need to replace my printer and some software, but the adjustment is moving along quickly. I love the battery. I love the simplicity. It's my new little baby.

And, while I am not thrilled to have had to dump a good deal of money on a new machine, there's a certain reality that there is nothing I could do about it: the melting wasn't my fault, there was no recessitating the Toshiba, and I can't function without a computer. So thank God that my student loans came in and that I am in the privileged position that I can just run out and buy another.

And it was a Mac.