sooo... it has been almost two weeks since i last wrote. Two weeks of total bliss, to be quite honest. I am actually fairly overwhelmed by how much i am into this relationship. [Mitchell] continues to amaze me, the more and more I learn about him. He is just incredible. I spent this last weekend with him and his crew down in Chicago for Pride. I get along extremely well with all of them, and they have welcomed me with phenominal ease into his group. We watched the Pride Pararde together, drank, smoked, and just chilled. It felt like this wonderful vacation in the midst of our lives, and the irony is that it all happened in just one day off. We left after I worked on Saturday (a fairly good happy hour really, a fun group kept me company much of the time) and I go to work later tonight at 10pm. But it seemed like we were there forever, and I enjoyed every minute of it.
I called Will last night to catch up with him and talk about how overwhelmed I kinda feel by the relationship thing. I am very much trying to keep in perspective just how new this relationship is, and the fact that I have known this guy less than a month. Is this just "new boyfriend bliss," or something deeper. The "L-word" keeps springing forward, and I just barely manage to trap it each time. I dont want him to get scared. We were eating lunch today and he mentioned an ex that he "didnt date long"... just 2 1/2 years. SHIT!!! He has been through this before, he has had these feelings before, so he is probably WAY less intrigued by this than I. But I am thinking back at my dating history, and I can't remember feeling this utterly head-over-heels for someone. Perhaps with Tyson. Perhaps. But I have also grown far more sceptical since then. If I were to meet Tyson now, would I just see through him immediately?
The "boyfriend" title happened last Sunday when we were at THREE. We both just got tired of fending off the label, and quite frankly it didnt bother me in the least. Normally, as most qould attest to, I would be already clawing at the cage that that label puts me in. But as Chicago Pride proved, I was compeletly happy being with my boy. I went and hit on one guy, but only to see if I could hook him up with one of [Mitchell's] friends. And when that didnt work out, I was completely happy to go back to my hot little boyfriend. No hesitation, no "if onlys"... I was bartending on Friday and he came in with some friends, and it was amazing to me the lust he inspired... for my boyfriend. I felt so lucky to be with him.
Not to make our relationship sound overly sexual, because it is not. We didnt go there this weekend because we were guests and his friends were everywhere (and it was deadly hot), and we actually took the sex thing fairly slowly. But i enjoy (see, I almost said "I love") his sense of humor, his caring for others, his geeky side, and the way he fits in my arms. Ohhh... and then there's always the hot little shower we took together. Okay, so the fun stuff is fun too. ;-)
Anything else going on in my life? Actually, found an INCREDIBLE apartment in Minneapolis, and am very excited about it. Within 1 mile of my school, very safe neighborhood, 17th floor of a great tower. I am very excited. I want [Mitchell] to come with me.
Actually, we kinda had that "is this just a summer fling" conversation, and I feel much better for it. 1) because he referenced God and his prayer life, and that he had been praying over the situation and 2) because we are both looking at this as something bigger. So here is my fantasy: He helps me move, and we go long-distance until about Christmas. If things are going well then, I ask him to move in with me in Minneapolis... By June I propose, and by the end of law school we have a kid. Good God... I sound like a teenage girl... This is not healthy. Will was very impressed that someone has got me thinking like this, and instead of seeming incredulous, he seemed to think it was an indication of possibility... My God. I want this to be what this feels like.
Okay, I need to stop, because I am going to wind myself up.
Oh, and I bought my first pair of Diesel jeans. $199 at Urban Outfitters. Holy shit. I damn well better like these jeans. (they do look great) Finally got a belt for buckles too. Yep... spent too much money this weekend, but I have been doing really well lately. [Mitchell] and I agreed to stay in an watch movies for the next couple weeks. We'll see how that goes.
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