Protecting those we love

I wish that I could take your pain away. I get so very frusterated and mad at life, and at God, when shit befalls my amazing friends. Here is this person who is inspiring in intelligence, talent, poise, spirit, strength and humor. She has taught me so much already about who I am, and I see in her someone who I would like to be. But when it comes down to it, there is nothing that I can do to help.

I wish I could protect you from this pain. From this loss. From this uncertainty. I wish I could wrap you in a giant hug and tell you that you will be safe and that you could believe me. I wish that I could take on your loss, your feeling of being lost, and bear it myself, knowing that you would probably be better at supporting me than I could ever be at supporting you. It pisses me off that right now, right when I am starting to feel like the universe is becoming balanced once again and that good people are rewarded, and the bad punished, I see evidence that this is not so.

You deserve more happiness than any of us, and yet in this moment there is only a deep sorrow that is not only undeserved but unjust. Why cant they see you for the person you are, the unbelievable blessing that I count you as? I guess I have to pray that God will right this wrong, will find a path for my lost friend, but even my prayers seem feable to help a friend.

It's interesting to me that I can live through so much in my own life, and yet becoming almost emotionally unbalanced when my friends have to deal with their trials and tribulations. Watching you struggle is so much harder for me because I love you so very very much and it drives me absolutley batty to be helpless to make things better. I feel like some sort of caged animal that is pacing, waiting to be unleashed so that I can fix everything for you with some sort of magic band-aid, and maul anyone who would hurt you.

I will be there for you. I want to know how I can help. I know you would do the same for me.

In fact, Im pretty sure you have already.