My tweezers

"Today on Christian's blog, we are going to learn soemthing really gay about him: He loves his tweezers."

Now, Im just waiting for the masturbatory jokes about "loving" tweezers, but I'll set that aside for now. I am an avid eye-brow plucker: I dont tweeze for a straight and girly thin line of hair, but rather to aviod the promagnum-man look of the unibrow. I started plucking when I was about 16 (shortly before I came out) and was encouraged by the mother of a guy (hottie) in my youth group who would regularly wax the eyebrows of a bunch of the guys in the youth group. (Ironically, this same youth group kicked me out when I did come out of the closet... "Please, you people are the ones who have been waxing my eyebrows for the last year and a half... And you're concerned about MY gay activities?")

Anyway, I lent my sister my favorite tweezers while we were at the family reunion two weeks ago (remarking loudly and half-drunkenly in front of the conservative relatives, "Honey, of course I have tweezers, I AM gay!"). I am 90% certain that my sister returned the tweezers to me, as she knows better than to gank my things. (I once got into a blow-out, end-of-the-world fight with my father when he refused to return one of my precious, beloved G2 pens in a timely fashion... My sister knows how I get...) So, I think that I must have failed to put these tweezers back in my own bag. Shit.

So, upon discovering that I am tweezer-less, I went to Walgreen's and checked out their selection. I actually ended up buying two "professional grade" types, figuring one of them HAD to work. Not so.

These low grade, horrid excuses for beauty products are both too sharp for their own good, which means they will sever the hair, leaving **TaaDaa** a deep, dark, inexcessible root in the middle of my eyebrow line. This proceeds to piss me off, making me try to gouge out the root with these sharp little tweezers, and before you know it I look like some sort of tractor accident.

At this point, I am actually thinking about calling the rental company of the place we stayed and asking if they found my beloved tweezers. I wonder what kind of reaction THAT would get?

Musical Fodder for my Writing:
"I am in Love with You" Imogen Heap,
Speak for Yourself