It's all coming together (o-staff style)

Well then. An exciting couple of days I guess. (Mitchell) and I exchanged turns being drunk off our asses. More on that in a minute. I heard back from my new landlord about (Abram) living with me. Apparently they cant approve him as a tenant, but have approved him as an "occupant": the exact situation I wanted in the first place. My name is the only one on the lease, but he gets to live with me. Nice. Cindy, from the rental company, is also allowing us to pro-rate the month of August, which is going to save me a ton of cash. Nice 2x. So that is all good news. I got my packet from the law school, with my schedule of classes, bought a few books online, so it feels like I am really going to be going. Wierd.

So then. Thursday night I ended up going out with Derik, and later with his BF Phil. Derik and I started drinking at Woody's at 6pm. Then hit Walker's Pint, then Fluid, then Triangle. We then waited for (Mitchell) to come out and meet us at the amature strip show at Cage (HORRID!!!). The soft-core porn videos that were playing at Triangle were just too much. Anyway, Derik and I had been talking about this "l-word" thing, and he was egging me on just to "go for it." So while I was mediocrely intoxicated at Cage I decided then was the time. I looked at (Mitchell) and said, "I think I am falling in love with you." as tears came streaming down my face.

A couple quick notes: I have only said "love" to one other bf in my life. I have NEVER cried over a guy. So this was a rare moment. To be honest, I dont quite recall ohw he reacted. But later, after he drove us home, he and I were getting it on, and I had to stop and once again confess my love. Again, tears coming down my face... I had made this whole drunken conversation about, "If I feel something this strongly, I shoudl tell you, even if I might be wrong, and even if you dont like it... blah blah blah..." (Mitchell) actually kinda aggreed with me at that point, so then I said it again. "I love you." His only reaction was, "So now you are sure of it?"

I got out of the car the next morning, very hung over, and just kept saying, "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no." That went on for about 5 minutes. I was sure that I would never see (Mitchell) again. But the reality was that things have returned substantially to normal, and I think we are going to ignore the whole episode for now. He and I had breakfast on Saturday and he was talking about (his) moving to Minneapolis and stuff, so I think that I havent detered him too much at least. And to be honest, I feel a bit relieved to have gotten my feelings off my chest.

I also want to make it clear that I am NOT dissapointed that he didnt reciprocate. The last thing that I would want is him to feel like he had to say it just cause I did. In fact, i might feel it was disingenuous.

My favorite part is that I called Christina Mahady to get her advice (J was at work) and she said this, "You have just rocked my world. You are the absolute last person I would ever think of to do the drunken 'I Love U.' This guy must mean a ton to you, because this is SO very out of character for you."

Exactly.