Out of Milk

Got home this morning (yes... I spent the night at (Mitchell's)) and discovered that my apartment is out of milk... And toilet paper... I guess that I havent spent that much time here lately. Its just a place where I nap in the middle of the day, really. Anyway, I should probably go and buy some things for the house.

So, yesterday I was sitting at Jazz in the Park with (Mitchell) and I realized that it was one month to the day since our first date. I ran off to the Metro Mart and bought him a dozen roses. I am not sure how much he appreciated them, but his friends thought it was sweet. Plus, I did it more so that i could let him know that it was important to me.... He also said something to me that meant a lot.

The story is that last weekend I got very drunk at Triangle flirting with Topher and Chad (two of the employees) and drinking Jaeger in a shirt that the owner gave me. The Bag Boyz leader stood us up (again) and so that was a bit of drama. (I quit) Anyway, when I went home with (Mitchell) *and I dont even remember how we got back* I guess that I disclosed to him my "long-term hope" -- the idea that I had been thinking up about if things kept going ideally for the two of us. Essentially: Keep dating till I leave, try the long-distance thing until about December, then have him move to Minneapolis, propose by June... Have kids in two years...

I know, I know... It is absolutely insane for me to be thinking like this. I know that. It is even further insanity that I decided to share this idea with (Mitchell) this early on. But back to last night at Jazz... (Mitchell) brought it up while we were lounging together, and I was a little embarassed. I asked him if he thought it was intimidating. He said, "No, the only thing I thought was wierd was that I talked to Kristin about that in Chicago (the weekend before) and said almost the exact same things." Wow. I mean Wow.

So then, the only other major development is that I almost had an episode of infidelity. Granted, (Mitchell) and I have made it clear that what we have is "open" and that fooling around with others isnt really "cheating" as long as we are being honest with each others. Anywho... I was bartending Tuesday night, and this total hottie came in and he and I started flirting. Hawaiian speed-skater. Real well-built. He gave me his number and wanted to screw around after my shift. Just the thought was making me hard. But I just felt that screwing around on my new boyfriend at this point would just be a bad sign for the future. Fortunately, my boss, Bill kinda saved me because he and I sat around after my shift and had some beers, just chatting. That was extremely nice, and he said some very flattering things that I had never heard from him before. He also essentially asked me to keep an eye out for my replacement. So, I didnt end up calling the Hawaiian until 4:30am. No answer. Well that works out well in the long run.

Then the Hawaiian and I text messaged all day, and I still hadnt mentioned my BF... He wanted me to join him at Summerfest. I ended up going to dinner at Dr. Dempsey's with another friend, who then I hooked up with the Hawaiian at Summerfest. Long story short--- I hooked up a friend and got myself off of the hook. But that was the second time in a week that I had narrowly avoided screwing around.

Last night I was so happy that I could look into (Mitchell's) deep brown eyes with no remorse, with no guilt, knowing that I could hold him close and know I am strong enough for the future. Even while he was heckling me for bedding up with a straight guy the night before... I was proud that I had behaved, yet relieved that (Mitchell) would have been okay if I hadnt.

So, this is my life. I feel like this month is already flying by. Next weekend I go home for Dad's 50th. (Mitchell) might come. I can only hope.

Oh, and P.S.... I was VERY drunk when I wrote that "love" entry.

P.P.S. I am starting to get nervous about the lifestyle change that law school is going to require. And yet, I kinda want to get a blue mohawk just to shake things up.