Friday, July 29, 2005

Yawn... Friday... So begins my work week

Just sitting around. Bradley is picking me up in a few so I can lend him a hand with his moving... I dont have anything else to do, so why the hell not. Chicago was perfect. I was glad to be back home in (Mitchell's) arms when all was said and done though. Wierd how I can miss someone who wasnt even a part of my life only months ago. Anyway, the Chicago update will have to come later, because I need to shower, if only to wake my ass up.

Oh... And Ben Stockwell is getting married to his 8th grade girlfriend. We all are freaking out a little about that. More later.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

the same as Ang!








the Cutting Edge

(56% dark, 56% spontaneous, 27% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | SPONTANEOUS | DARK


Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't in and of themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top. Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi







My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
















free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on dark





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 77% on spontaneous





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 35% on vulgar
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Sunday, July 24, 2005

It's all coming together (o-staff style)

Well then. An exciting couple of days I guess. (Mitchell) and I exchanged turns being drunk off our asses. More on that in a minute. I heard back from my new landlord about (Abram) living with me. Apparently they cant approve him as a tenant, but have approved him as an "occupant": the exact situation I wanted in the first place. My name is the only one on the lease, but he gets to live with me. Nice. Cindy, from the rental company, is also allowing us to pro-rate the month of August, which is going to save me a ton of cash. Nice 2x. So that is all good news. I got my packet from the law school, with my schedule of classes, bought a few books online, so it feels like I am really going to be going. Wierd.

So then. Thursday night I ended up going out with Derik, and later with his BF Phil. Derik and I started drinking at Woody's at 6pm. Then hit Walker's Pint, then Fluid, then Triangle. We then waited for (Mitchell) to come out and meet us at the amature strip show at Cage (HORRID!!!). The soft-core porn videos that were playing at Triangle were just too much. Anyway, Derik and I had been talking about this "l-word" thing, and he was egging me on just to "go for it." So while I was mediocrely intoxicated at Cage I decided then was the time. I looked at (Mitchell) and said, "I think I am falling in love with you." as tears came streaming down my face.

A couple quick notes: I have only said "love" to one other bf in my life. I have NEVER cried over a guy. So this was a rare moment. To be honest, I dont quite recall ohw he reacted. But later, after he drove us home, he and I were getting it on, and I had to stop and once again confess my love. Again, tears coming down my face... I had made this whole drunken conversation about, "If I feel something this strongly, I shoudl tell you, even if I might be wrong, and even if you dont like it... blah blah blah..." (Mitchell) actually kinda aggreed with me at that point, so then I said it again. "I love you." His only reaction was, "So now you are sure of it?"

I got out of the car the next morning, very hung over, and just kept saying, "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no." That went on for about 5 minutes. I was sure that I would never see (Mitchell) again. But the reality was that things have returned substantially to normal, and I think we are going to ignore the whole episode for now. He and I had breakfast on Saturday and he was talking about (his) moving to Minneapolis and stuff, so I think that I havent detered him too much at least. And to be honest, I feel a bit relieved to have gotten my feelings off my chest.

I also want to make it clear that I am NOT dissapointed that he didnt reciprocate. The last thing that I would want is him to feel like he had to say it just cause I did. In fact, i might feel it was disingenuous.

My favorite part is that I called Christina Mahady to get her advice (J was at work) and she said this, "You have just rocked my world. You are the absolute last person I would ever think of to do the drunken 'I Love U.' This guy must mean a ton to you, because this is SO very out of character for you."

Exactly.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

like some liz phair song

Hung out with Natalie and Nora last night. It felt good to catch up with them and just chill. Felt like old times hanging out at Caffrey's. (Mitchell) came with me, and they really seemed to like him. Good times. Before that I took him to Sobelman's... I missed that place. Justine called while we were there, and I gave herr two guesses where we were. She got it on the first try. Eerrie how well she knows me.

Other than that, the weather has been crap the last couple of days, so I have felt less guilty about reading Harry Potter and rewatching all 3 movies. Got to get my slothiness in now, because I am going to get my ass kicked soon enough! I just got my orientation packet for UST, and it is just a tad overwhelming to have to think about. I bought a few books today online. The rest will have to wait till I get there.

Things with (Mitchell) are still going incredibly. He is still nervous about our trip to Detroit with my family, but I am totally not. Carey and Dad will love him. Less than a month now before I leave. But (Mitchell) and I went on our second date (lol) on Monday, and we went to Mo's for steaks and then sat at the lakefront watching the moon shimmer off the lake. It was wonderful. But during dinner we talked a little bit about orchestrating the long-distance thing. We each try to visit the other once a month. Which means we see each other two weekends a month. I can totally work that. My only concern is still then fitting family into that... If I take all my breaks visiting (Mitchell), how do I work the family thing? Part of me feels like I could spend one semester a little more seperated from Dad and Carey than usual, but I am not sure i want to do that. We'll have to see.

Anyway, that 2nd date was beautiful, and I just felt so... perfect with (Mitchell). There was a Liz Phair song that we were listening to this morning that made such sense... Being with someone who is amazed by you as you are with them... It is usually one sided: some guy very taken with me, and I totally am not feeling it. Very much not the case this time.

Okay, time to move on... I wish I had more to report, but my life is boring. That's all Ive got at the moment... A month now...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

He said he'll cry when I leave...

So I lounged around all day yesterday, too lazy even to go get food. I had (Mitchell) pick me up a sandwich from his work. Yeah! Anyway, it was totally just a chill day and at about 10pm, he picked me up to go to a party at a friend's house. The party was pretty chill, just laid back, and most of the other people were kids (literally) from his work. I was just happy that he was comfortable being with me around them.

There is this one poor girl who is SO socially awkward, she just needs someone to take her under their wing. She was talking to me for all of 60 seconds before she spits out that she is "bi." Seemed like she was just itching to tell someone. Unfortunatley, this chick is so awkward (and a light-weight drunk) she is not particularly well liked at work. She is 18, from a po-dunk town, and hasnt learned to express herself properly. What a hard time in life.

(Mitchell's) ex kept calling all night, and turns out he stopped by the house while we were out. I also got to hear about some of (Mitchell's) past hookups with our aquiantances. I was completely cool with all of it, honestly. I just was glad to know, rather than being kept in the dark. Always good to know who has seen your boyfriend's penis, right?

We were all sitting around outside and another friend started talking about his upcoming move, and (Mitchell) whispers in my ear: "When you move, I am going to cry. And I dont do that." I was seriously touched. It was important for me to hear that. I have been taking this relationship very seriously, and he is usually kinda coy about that whole thing. That sort of confirmation makes me know we are on the same wavelength. At this point, the plan is for my last night of work to be on August 19th, we pack up that day beforehand, and then make the drive the next day, partying in Minneapolis with him and his friends for two nights, before they return here on the 22 (the day i start my Orientation). The logistics of moving are a bit overwhelming, especially since different factors keep interfereing with otherwise good ideas. (ie. Will doesnt have a hitch, and I am in Detroit when I could load up Katherine's truck. no good.)

Well, I need to start moving to get on the way for this weekend's super-secret trip. Hope all goes well.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

too much fun

Will came to town yesterday, and I had a blast with him. The day started out fantastic, waking up to a lazy day with (Mitchell) and lounging around with him until he had to work at 5pm. It was the perfect way to spend a colder, rainy day: watching the Stepford Wives with my boy. I could have sat there forever with him. He had picked me up at like 3:30 in the morning after I had ridden my bike home from work. The shift had been very high tension, partially because my boss wrote this DRAMA note that was pretty overkill about us using the bar as a storage facility. Sure, I had kept my bike in the basement for 2 nights, but that was unusual. If he had asked me, I would have moved it immediately. Instead we get this note that was way terse. Anyway. Then someone who was a regular in the scene died, so it was like this negative energy filled the bar as the news spread. Brian needed to take a couple minutes, which I TOTALLY respected.

One of Franco's dick friends grabbed my cock as I was coming up from the basement. I reacted farely violently, and made it VERY clear that he was never to touch me again. Anyway, then all the other coked out queens started in on me, and I wasnt having much of it. I didnt react as I would have wanted to, but I was about to lose it. Anyway, getting to go home to (Mitchell) at the end of an otherwise tense night was wonderful.

So Will picked me up at Culver's just after 5pm, and we went to go see Mr. and Mrs. Smith with his two friends Katie and Ryan. Fun crowd. Decent movie. Then Will and I went to Mel's and had a really really good night. Just chilled, played darts, drank a lot (!!) and Will even got (Mitchell) to come and join us. That just put this dumb, idiotic smile on my face the entire time. It was just good to be with my old buddy, and my hot boyfriend. Really made me smile.

A friend of a friend who is also going to St. Thomas is allowing me to through some of my bigger things in her Uhaul. Fuck yeah! Dad also offered to give me a good bunch of money to help me move, since it looks like he cant help. I am glad that is all coming together. I gave (Mitchell) the dates of my moving and departure, and he really looked saddened. I guess this is where things get interesting.

I kept talking to Will about the L-word. I talked with my favorite bartender EVER, Hilary, at Caffrey's last night and she seemed to think that because all my previous affections have been returned whole-heartedly, I am safe to say the WORD without (Mitchell) getting overwhelmed. Still though, I think I want to wait until the move. Just cause. Enough thinkin about that.

Nothing else much to report. I am trying to catch up on some news, since i feel like I have been totally disconnected lately. I didnt even know there was a hurricane hitting florida this last week. Anyway, time to go.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Ready to Go

Saw Collective Soul last night with Karl. Then went back to (Mitchell's) house. They had cleaned. Unreal! It looked great. Then watched a "Hide and Seek" which would have been way better if I hadnt just watched "High Intensity" which also focuses on multiple personality killers. Anyway, kinda the perfect night. I stay up FAR too late with (Mitchell) but I dont know that I ever regret it. ;-) For whatever reason, our kisses seemed even more passionate than normal yesterday. I am SO in _______. You fill in the blanks, becuase I cant.

Other than that, work has been a little lame. I feel like I am just treading water until it is time to go. This would be the point when I would normally get bored and quit. I am definitely feeling the effects of no longer being "novelty" around the bar. The flirting just isnt as effective as it was. Ah well.

A little roommate tension. (David) is a bit more neurotic than I think I can appreciate. Whatever... I spend all of 20 minutes in the apartment every week. I am so outie.

I have to go play tennis now. I hope I do okay. No more getting beat by a fifty year old. Ha!

Friday, July 08, 2005

Check me out!

dominant
You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Out of Milk

Got home this morning (yes... I spent the night at (Mitchell's)) and discovered that my apartment is out of milk... And toilet paper... I guess that I havent spent that much time here lately. Its just a place where I nap in the middle of the day, really. Anyway, I should probably go and buy some things for the house.

So, yesterday I was sitting at Jazz in the Park with (Mitchell) and I realized that it was one month to the day since our first date. I ran off to the Metro Mart and bought him a dozen roses. I am not sure how much he appreciated them, but his friends thought it was sweet. Plus, I did it more so that i could let him know that it was important to me.... He also said something to me that meant a lot.

The story is that last weekend I got very drunk at Triangle flirting with Topher and Chad (two of the employees) and drinking Jaeger in a shirt that the owner gave me. The Bag Boyz leader stood us up (again) and so that was a bit of drama. (I quit) Anyway, when I went home with (Mitchell) *and I dont even remember how we got back* I guess that I disclosed to him my "long-term hope" -- the idea that I had been thinking up about if things kept going ideally for the two of us. Essentially: Keep dating till I leave, try the long-distance thing until about December, then have him move to Minneapolis, propose by June... Have kids in two years...

I know, I know... It is absolutely insane for me to be thinking like this. I know that. It is even further insanity that I decided to share this idea with (Mitchell) this early on. But back to last night at Jazz... (Mitchell) brought it up while we were lounging together, and I was a little embarassed. I asked him if he thought it was intimidating. He said, "No, the only thing I thought was wierd was that I talked to Kristin about that in Chicago (the weekend before) and said almost the exact same things." Wow. I mean Wow.

So then, the only other major development is that I almost had an episode of infidelity. Granted, (Mitchell) and I have made it clear that what we have is "open" and that fooling around with others isnt really "cheating" as long as we are being honest with each others. Anywho... I was bartending Tuesday night, and this total hottie came in and he and I started flirting. Hawaiian speed-skater. Real well-built. He gave me his number and wanted to screw around after my shift. Just the thought was making me hard. But I just felt that screwing around on my new boyfriend at this point would just be a bad sign for the future. Fortunately, my boss, Bill kinda saved me because he and I sat around after my shift and had some beers, just chatting. That was extremely nice, and he said some very flattering things that I had never heard from him before. He also essentially asked me to keep an eye out for my replacement. So, I didnt end up calling the Hawaiian until 4:30am. No answer. Well that works out well in the long run.

Then the Hawaiian and I text messaged all day, and I still hadnt mentioned my BF... He wanted me to join him at Summerfest. I ended up going to dinner at Dr. Dempsey's with another friend, who then I hooked up with the Hawaiian at Summerfest. Long story short--- I hooked up a friend and got myself off of the hook. But that was the second time in a week that I had narrowly avoided screwing around.

Last night I was so happy that I could look into (Mitchell's) deep brown eyes with no remorse, with no guilt, knowing that I could hold him close and know I am strong enough for the future. Even while he was heckling me for bedding up with a straight guy the night before... I was proud that I had behaved, yet relieved that (Mitchell) would have been okay if I hadnt.

So, this is my life. I feel like this month is already flying by. Next weekend I go home for Dad's 50th. (Mitchell) might come. I can only hope.

Oh, and P.S.... I was VERY drunk when I wrote that "love" entry.

P.P.S. I am starting to get nervous about the lifestyle change that law school is going to require. And yet, I kinda want to get a blue mohawk just to shake things up.