Slutty Slutty Hoebag... And other Bachelor-Party Euphemisms

Good God... Last night was a lot of fun.

My head hurts so much right now that it hurts to type. Not sure Im gonna make it through this post...

(some 8 hours later)

Well... It has certainly been a fun couple of days. From what I can remember ;-)

Friday night I ended up cheering up and playing with the setup on my Blog. Hence the fucked up way that it is reading at the moment. On the plus side, I feel proud that I figured out how to add things to my sidebar in HTML all on my own. Downside: I screwed up the whole page so it reads funny now. Hmmm... I have a couple of my wonderful geek friends looking into it. I fell asleep after I got frusterated and missed all the calls that I was lamenting not receiving in the last post.

Yesterday I got an amazing amount of nothing done before I went to Anthony's Bachelor party. I did end up getting a call from Nebraska, and I made it clear that I was kinda put off by him not calling last night when I thought we had plans, and I left it as, "Well, you give me a call when you want to hang out." It 's the "ball is in your court, Im not going to work for this" tactic my friend Will taught me. More on this later.

Before the party, I was a little nervous about the money to be spent on the evening, and it truly was a pricey night, but it was a fun one to be sure. We started at his place (2 drinks) where we changed and got into the limo (2 more drinks) and went to the St. Paul Grill (2 more drinks) and had a very upscale dinner. I started chatting with this guy (M) who I thought had something to him, seemed deep, cute enough, whatever. We have a couple of smoke breaks together, and Im feeling it. We got done with dinner just in time to catch the Taste of the Cities fireworks (shhh... no one tell Anthony that they weren't for him). At that point I got a call from Nebraska saying that he would be out that evening, and he wanted to see me. I told him cool, and that he should give me a call when he knows exactly where he would be. We then go to a St. Paul bar, Trikkx. Fun enough. I could see it getting really fun when its packed, but it was mostly an older crowd. I picked Anthony up at this point, threw him over my shoulder and paraded him around to get spanked by the various patrons. Oh the fun hasnt even started yet.

We left and drove (2 drinks) to Boom (1 drink). Along the way I found time to make out with M in the limo. That's One.

We hung out at Boom just long enough to finish our drinks, then drove (one drink) to Saloon, where we paraded in. It was a fun crowd, and kinda a blur at that point. I usually drink beer, and I was doing vodka tonics and champgne all night. Soon after we got to the Saloon, I found that M was kinda on all types of other guys. Hmmm... Whatever. I can roll with that. Then I saw.... Nebraska.

To start, I am not the guy who waits around for guys to call him. It is my biggest pet peeve when people say they are going to call and then dont. So I walked over to Nebraska with a big smile, with the whole Bachelor Party watching me. I give him a hug, pull back, and pull out my phone. "No missed calls, no messages. Thats too bad. Talk to you later." And I walk away. Just to make it clear, that was me ending it with him. Too bad too, cause I liked him. Thought about him a lot. Some things just werent meant to work. None of my friends liked him anyway, so no giant loss.

So, I go to find M, find him dancing shirtless on the dance floor with another guy in our group, R. I go up and dance with them, and together they wrestle my shirt off me (havent danced shirtless in an age). Then R and I start making out while M is dancing up on me. Wow. Okay.

The only other eventful thing (that I remember) at the Saloon was that this incredibly awkward kid J kept trying to get cozy with me. He kept putting his arm around me and squeezing or grabbing my chest or whatever. He probably figured that since I was making out with everyone else... Anyway, I almost broke his arm, twice, trying to make it clear that he was not allowed to touch me. Eghhh... Some guys just dont get it until you are pinning their arm behind them with their face pressed against a wall while you shout obsenities at them. Now that I think of it, hopefully that wasnt a turn on. Ewwww.

As things are slowing down (3am?) we start to head back out to the Limo and we continue drinking there. One of our group needed to throw up, so while he is being taken care of, I had a couple more drinks with this guy who had been there with his boyfriend (his bf was, in fact right outside the limo). Well, he started making out with me. (notice the use of passive voice) It was hot, but wierd too, cause the bf evidently didnt care... Either that, or those were some damned good tinted windows.

Then went back to the house, were I promptly passed out on a leather couch. Apparently there was a good little after-party in that room... People must have just sat around me... I was out.

Funny moment though, was that I woke up to music playing. Someone had turned on the stereo. I looked down and the floor is littered with a couple of sleeping guys. I got up to turn off the stereo, turn around and there was already someone asleep on the couch where I had been. Part of me was mad, but I was more impressed than anything by the ingenuity of the guy who had conned me out of my comfy couch spot... I let him keep it and found another couch.